Cracking the ‘wit’ on foul-mouthed bosses

Gaston de ROSAYRO

Most of us have had to deal with a difficult boss at some time or the other. I mean the type of bully who is belligerent and intimidating. Worse still are the types who in addition sprinkle profane words into their speech like sprinkling an overdose of pepper in to food than you can take it.

Others sprinkle salt onto food. What I mean is that having a boss who has a mouth that spews out filth like an active volcano can make work very difficult for you.

Such employers may want to invest in a bar of soap. Most often, bosses who use inappropriate language are also the ones who berate their employees, fly off the handle and make more work for everybody else.

Whether the use of profanity at work is grounds for termination depends on the individual workplace. Some think that at times such behaviour is justified, but it becomes a problem when the boss’ actions interfere with the ability of employees to work effectively.

Yes, profanity at work can be a sticky topic, but only when there is a mismatch between our comfort level and that of our colleagues. Nearly everyone has heard a co-worker, usually a boss, blast off when he or she is riled up about something. Most of the time, that is all there is to it.

No company writes in ‘swearing policies’ into their rules and regulations because the circumstances under which people curse at work vary so much and have such hierarchical overtones. Everyone knows that many chief executive officers (CEOs) and other executives get away with stronger language when they are overheated than most employees would dare use.

The boss sets the profanity tone for the group, so everyone knows where the organizational curse line lies. Still, it can be hard to know what is appropriate in the cursing arena when a diverse group of workmates congregates.

The problem arises when staff members have different tolerances for strong language. When that difference is hierarchical as well, things can get tense. One young man told me, “I am not one to curse a ton, but it is weird that my boss can say whatever he wants while, if I say anything, I get the sideways look.”

This whole situation gets one thinking. Does a leader’s use of language, specifically the use of profanity, have an impact on their ability to lead? If someone were incapable of controlling their use of profanity I do not think they could effectively lead anyone. I don’t think I would be able to see past that issue. Maybe I have mellowed with age, but I just do not think that there is a need or a positive use for profanity in the workplace.

Profanity in the workplace is never an appropriate way to communicate, but when your boss or superior is doing it, you may find it difficult to know the proper way to handle it or ultimately report it. As an employee, regardless of your position within the company, you have the right to work in a comfortable atmosphere free of offensive words or phrases. Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself when your boss is acting unfavourably and making the workplace a difficult environment.

Fortunately, the workplace has many sets of rules and structures that can help you change a profane leader’s behaviour. Avoid taking it personally. Many bosses still do not understand that work is no longer a gentleman’s club. Many times, a boss vents his frustration on an employee because his immediate boss, who got chewed out by his immediate boss, just chewed him out. Have a thick skin and keep working hard.

Drop subtle hints that his or her behaviour makes you uncomfortable. Depending on your relationship with the boss, you can drop a joke or use sarcasm to get your point across. Chances are the bosses know their language is inappropriate to begin with, so subtly remind them of it. Be direct if the behaviour does not stop. Once you have put your cards on the table, they will certainly be aware they would be committing harassment if they don’t change their behaviour.

Document every interaction that the two of you have. Put it in a notebook, record the date and time of each interaction and document what happened in a few paragraphs.

Make a list of the behaviour you find difficult to deal with. Document anything you find unethical, unprofessional or abusive. Just jot down the facts, not your reactions to the events. If you do end up filing a complaint, you will need accurate records to refer to. Take it to your boss’ immediate superior if nothing changes.

It may make you look bad, but if you followed the steps, your employer will have no choice but to take your word. I have worked with people around whom I would not use any oath stronger than “My heavens!” and believe me, it took all my willpower to keep my expressions that mild in an otherwise rough-and-ready environment. Cursing is a cultural issue at work, just like dress code and other aspects of jobs and companies that can be hard to gauge until you’re actually working there.

I do not mind salty language flying around me because if it gets too saline I have the ability to pepper back with saltier invective. But I would never devolve into full-out cursing in the presence of the nice women in editorial, advertising or accounting. No you do not have to stoop to the level of coarseness of your detractor when countering an abusive tirade.

Here are some of the witty one-liners I have come across in my career where former colleagues bested their foul-mouthed bosses with refined one-liners. There was a British Managing Editor in Hong Kong who flipped a file back at the editorial director’s profanity: “Thank you. We are all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. If your mother had had any sense she would have done what you just said nine months before you were born!”

A woman feature writer fired back at a Chinese news editor in Singapore: “I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. You know so little and know it so fluently!”

There was another British copy editor who leaned across the desk of an editorial boss whose mother who owned the newspaper was in semi-retirement.

The copy editor stormed out of the office after leaning across the publishing heir’s desk and quipping: “Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. Besides you will never be half the man your mother was!”

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