Letter:

Looking after elders

It is our paramount duty to look after our parents. Special care should be taken when they are old and become dependents on us. A person who looks after his parents need not worship god separately. When you look after them you must see that they are happy and comfortable. They must not feel that they are burden to you.

I quote below the following steps.

Caring - This is very important. Please pay attention and treat them equally in every aspects. Wishing them in the morning. Taking them for a morning walk with you, serving meals which they prefer and also suitable to them, permitting them to watch TV and radio and to read newspapers etc. It would be better to tell them when you are leaving the house which will make them happy.

Participation - Please discuss with them pertaining to important matters which will make them comfortable and avoid frustration. Eg. Purchase of new car, new premises, marriage arrangements etc. You should listen to their opinion when making decisions. If you are not in a position to accept, please explain to them without over-rolling.

Looking after elders, our duty

Respect - You must ensure that your parents are respected by all. This is etiquette to be maintained by you. Ensure that your servants, your children, relations and visitors respect them.

Help - It is natural for them fall sick when they become old. Adopt a suitable programme - proper meal, adequate exercise, body and mental rest and regular medical check up. When they fall sick arrange for a medical treatment.

Appreciation - Do not forget to appreciate the good qualities of your parents in public whilst criticism should be done in private. Comments like “my mother's cooking is superb, my father's tax advises are always correct.” “See the appearance even at this age and imagine how they would have been when they were young.”

Privacy - Please recognize their privacy by allocating a separate room for them to discuss their problems. They must feel comfortable.

Listening - Please listen when they talk about their problems which may be health or finance. They must not feel frustrated by your non listening attitude.

Happiness - You should make them happy by recognizing their important days and needs. Buying a new saree for a festival, celebrating their birthdays and wedding anniversary day, presenting them with proper entertainment (cassettes of all songs, films etc.)

Disturbance - Please do not annoy them by way of loud music, dance and having repairs in your house without notice. What is important here is that you pay special attention. Kindly see that they are not disturbed by your activities. It may necessary to have a separate temporary accommodation before commencing repairs, big activities.

I presume that the younger generation accept my proposal while elders appreciate the proposal.

S R Balachandran, Council Member,The National Chamber of , Commerce of Sri Lanka