Economic independence for women

How about a husband cutting off a pregnant mother’s hand using a sward? This perhaps is admirable if she is trapped inside a crashed car which is about to explode or she is chained to a railway line where a train is running on the same track. But how about a husband cutting off the hand of his pregnant wife out of rage ?

This is not a part of a local teledrama, stage drama or a film. This is a true incident that took place in Sri Lanka recently. According to the news report the culprit husband was brought before the law. But that cannot patch up the harm caused to the pregnant mother.

The husband and wife were ordinary Sri Lankans. According to another recent news report a young mother of an eight months old infant was subjected to a gang rape. They have raped her after threatening to kill her baby.

So where is the progress of various programmes, projects, seminars and conferences conducted on the subject of `Violence against women’? Where are the so called women’s organisations that shout with different slogans against violence against women? Where are our women’s rights activists? Where are the human rights activists? Are they in a deep sleep?

This is not the first or the last time a brutal crime executed against women reported in media. But it seems nothing is capable of changing the rising violence against women at domestic level. Measures can be taken to protect at national level, provincial level and institutional level.

Measures have been taken to do so by the Government and relevant authorities especially when it comes to law and order. But the question is whether new laws and the amendments are capable or adequate to protect women within their families?

When examining the real ground situation, it is obvious that most Sri Lankan women are well protected at national level but they face grave danger within their families. No matter how educated, well groomed and innocent they are, they face violence at their homes.

Unfortunately violence against women comes right from their own homes. It is their own husbands and other male family members who execute violence against them.

During the past few decades the whole mechanism of Sri Lanka was aimed at wrong target groups when it comes to educating the public on gender mainstreaming. Some State and all Non Governmental Organisations had wasted their time and resources targeting wrong and irrelevant groups.

There were thousands of workshops, seminars and conferences for journalists, advertisers and other groups but not for the people who are usually involved in violence against women. It is men, especially men with a low level of education they should target. Sometimes one can suspect whether those organisations had a real desire to address the issue or whether they were making money !

It is very funny to see how educated women belonging to well-to-do families preach about women’s rights to other women during day time then come home and act like slaves dancing to the commands of her husband. This is the real ground situation of the majority of Sri Lankan women.

The incidents and methods of executing psychological violence against women are innumerable and it is very pathetic to see how women suffer silently in the hands of men. Psychological violence against women is a very common form that exists in almost everywhere in the society.

It seems not only men but also women do not know the meaning of words such as personal, private, individual and confidential. On one Sunday evening around 8.30 pm, I was chatting with a female friend of mine who is a PhD holder. She is economically independent. This is her exact words.

“Oh I forgot to switch off my mobile. Now my fiancee will check it. He wants me to switch off the mobile after 6 pm. He also wanted me to delete my phone book (in the mobile) and I did so. I have to submit my detailed bill to him every month”.

I ended the discussion feeling very sorry for her and related her the story to my aunt. She suddenly came up with an idea and said that she can keep two phones, one to switch off at 6.00 pm and the other to talk after 6.00 pm. But I had the best answer.

That is telling him to find another girl who does not know the meanings of privacy and trust. This type of psychological violence is nothing, compared to cutting off the hand of a pregnant woman. Economic independence is the only way out for Sri Lankan women to free themselves from violence against them created right within their own homes.

Even this will not help them to get rid of the problem completely. But at least it can ease the problems.