Males' Janus-faced rules

Gender thoughts by Nadira Gunatilleke

Everyone knows that a young girl was killed recently after returning from a night out. There is no need to discuss this incident which was reported in all the newspapers for days. But just one small fact imbedded in all news items and articles should get our attention because our present day social problems are contained in it.

According to a recent feature article in a popular newspaper, the sister of the murdered girl told the media that the male involved in the case scolded the sister of the murdered girl for waving at another male friend of hers. Anyway the fact is the said girl had exchanged friendly gestures with a male friend while being with her boyfriend which made the boyfriend angry. This tiny incident tells us where we stand today in the middle of Globalisation.

In most Western countries young girls go to night clubs and come home safely. According to the culture of those countries boyfriends do not prevent their girlfriends from waving at other male friends. Those boys do not see their girlfriends chatting or even dancing with their other male friends as an offence. This type of social environment is totally healthy and acceptable. Apart from this, girls hanging around other girls and boys hanging around with other boys is treated as something 'special' because of lesbianism and homosexuality. But of late this is also considered normal and it is legalised in some countries.

In some other countries with strict cultures, women are not free to go out alone and have fun with males or associate with more than one male. They should behave according to their culture and are always safe within those limits. But women can enjoy life and go out with their guardians safely. In those countries a woman can be punished for going into a night club with or without her husband/male guardian and waving at another male because that is their law.

But it is interesting to see what is taking place in Sri Lanka! Here boys want their girlfriends to go out with them to night clubs and have fun but it is totally prohibited to look at other boys even when they are classmates. This is physically living in the twenty-first-century while psychologically living in the eighteenth century. Living with a contrasting lifestyle and ideology is very harmful for society. It is sad to see some present day male Sri Lankans wanting their female partners to live in the twenty first century physically while psychologically living in the eighteenth century.

This is the same as those males admiring women wearing revealing outfits while banning their younger sisters and girlfriends from wearing the same clothes. They admire outgoing females and always hang around them but want their dear and near females to keep a distance from society and stay at home.

Sri Lankan society has a long way to go before accepting gender equality and women's human rights. Most social problems and other crimes related to those problems will end when all Sri Lankan males accept the fact that females have the same right to enjoy basic human rights just as them.