Etiquette education simply not just child’s play

Gaston de ROSAYRO

For educators the task of instilling character development in their students is not just child’s play. It is not on the curriculum of any school but should be a subject that is as crucially important as mathematical and literate skills.

Teachers certainly have a imperative role in shaping their students’ future. Etiquette lessons help children learn the difference between right and wrong, by helping them to focus on their actions. Besides it teaches them how to interact with others. In today’s schooling system, there is a strong focus on the three R’s, - ‘Reading, Riting and Rithmatic’ - but mentors must consider tagging on an E to the curriculum - Etiquette.

Making intelligent choices

Students in a classroom

Sharing among classmates

Children involved in a group activity

Teaching children to make intelligent choices will help them to become considerate individuals who will be admired for their character and ethical behaviour. Clear and proper thinking will greatly help reduce future problems they may develop or encounter.

Still teaching such a subject entails a delicate balancing act and all the more reason for school authorities to provide encouragement and guidance to teachers.

The value of teaching character education from an early age cannot ever be overlooked. The objective of character education is to fashion and nurture emotionally balanced, socially empathetic and caring individuals with a solid system of values. Its goal is to eventually raise mindful adults with socially acceptable ethics who are capable of steering a course through the challenges of life without compromising their principles.

Anti-social behaviour

Unfortunately today’s culture sets the focus on self-destructive and all too often sociopathic role-models. Just take a look at our newspapers or turn on the TV and you will observe the escalating violence in our schools and universities. This type of anti-social behaviour from the future generations of our nation is a threatening reminder that the very fabric of our social fabric is in danger of being torn asunder.

Despite of all the benefits that teaching character education offers to both the individual and society, there is no sure fire formula or set standards on how and what to teach. While no general programme that is suitable for all students exists, an established structure for successful character education should follow certain methods and common principles.

And If not handled carefully it can become a problem for both the pedagogues and their charges. As children grow older, they figure out messages in their own way. Lessons fitting to character development stages allow children to make their own choices while bolstering positive group activities.

Good role models

When character education blends both individualistic and collective play it encourages youngsters to apply their own perceptions and flair in most situations while also serving as good role models to their younger peers.

While children are in school, open forums with active role-playing can provide practical tools to students for handling difficult moments and peer pressure. Moderated by teachers or, in later years, by the students themselves, the sharing among classmates is certain to encourage moral thought, ethical debate, decision-making, and crucial thinking.

The subject should be devoid of moralising or indoctrination of any one type of thought or behaviour as being the right one for all. In its place, common principles based on shared values such as justice, equality for all, respect for individuality, empathy, kindness and integrity should serve as the elementary building blocks of all character education programmes.

Baby boomers of my vintage or thereabouts would be able to cite details from those days at school touching upon the teachers, their influence on the pupils and their idiosyncrasies. To be sure, many of those experiences as budding scholars could be best summed up in personal vein as a bitter-sweet mélange. For instance we can all extract certain sketches of a painful past in which the cane held sway as the order of the day.

No one who has been a schoolboy could ever stand up and say he never encountered at least one teacher who the entire school was terrified of. There were many who appeared to take a vicarious delight in flogging their students pitilessly. The more fractious among us still have nightmares as the echoes of those vicious thwacking sounds swirl through our heads.

Minor disobedience

In my time a good many of them appeared to be more lashers than teachers. Some of them seemed to take a sadistic pleasure in thrashing their pupils in turn, one after the other for the most trifling infringements. Surely for some students in those class rooms every school day seemed torture. Besides they hardly used corporal punishment as a last resort, it was always the first resort for minor disobedience.

No. There was certainly not much margin for error in that time and place and corporal punishment even for the slightest infraction was the norm. British-style formal caning was fully lawful in Ceylon schools then and strongly supported by the government. Most of the country’s secondary schools used the cane, which was a significant element in the disciplinary system. But such punishment rarely fitted the crime, so to say, and provided a free rein for appalling abuse by many tyrannical pedagogues.

While there is no official certification required of etiquette teachers, you could become a credible authority on the subject if you start building your etiquette-related knowledge by reading books on the subject to improve your understanding of the topic. But remember teaching is more commonsense that is honed by the right refinement. However there are books on the subject you can read and learn from.

Emotional intelligence

Indeed every teacher should practice proper etiquette to prove their correctness as gurus. As an etiquette teacher, you should embody proper social practices.

Particularly when establishing yourself in the industry, practicing what you preach is necessary.

Recent psychological studies have shown that emotional intelligence (EI) is as significant to a child’s success and fulfilment as good grades and an university degree. Etiquette seeks to enhance the EI of children by encouraging them to express and discuss their emotions, thereby improving their social sensitivity and public behaviour.

Along with increased self-confidence and the ability to relate to others, students of etiquette develop enhanced social skills and experience far less anxiety when handling peer pressure.

The potential for school violence can also be reduced by practicing the responsible behaviour stressed in etiquette education.

The US studies have shown that the effects of etiquette and character training are immediate and long lasting. For parents, educators and especially our children, etiquette education and character development pay big dividends that last a lifetime, making the E for etiquette result in children who will represent another E -Extraordinary.

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