It pays to be polite and costs nothing

Gaston de Rosayro

We appear to have lost a good deal of our ideals during a bloody three decade secessionist war. Those intrinsic social values are unique as far as most Asian cultures go. But the most striking aspect of Sri Lankan life is that the majority of its people have not lost their cultural identity.

Sri Lankan civility appears to have returned with the end of the prolonged conflict. And it is a prime opportunity for the youth of this nation to keep it alive and kicking. Being a polite and courteous person makes one a rare individual in today's world.

Politeness, and a genuine concern for the rights and feelings of others in our society seems to have slammed the door in our faces. A culture of rudeness has become a feature of modern society. Whether it is a loud cell-phone conversation, line cutting or terrible customer service by staff people, finding politeness in the world is on the decline.

Being polite in a workplace

Treating others with respect

You can very easily find people who view politeness and good manners as weakness and as character flaws to be overcome. They argue that rudeness succeeds and common courtesy is a mark of failure. They view rudeness to others as a sign of their superiority as people, and a badge of their status. They couldn't be more wrong. Politeness and common courtesy are more likely to achieve success, in business and in life, than a selfish, bullying attitude.

Whether in your personal relationships with others, or in your workplace, being polite and well-mannered pays off in many ways. In your personal life, remembering special days, holding doors and displaying good manners in general shows respect for the other person. That respect will almost always be reciprocated by the other person.

Anyone who does not recognise good manners and polite behaviour may not be worth your time anyway. Becoming known as a polite and well-mannered individual does not mean that you are some sort of pushover or doormat. Instead, you are displaying respect for yourself and those people with whom you interact on a daily basis.

In business, politeness and good manners will enhance and strengthen your entire organisation. Staff, customers, vendors and anyone doing business with your company will appreciate your courtesy. Instead of missing appointments, failing to live up to your promises and obligation, and engaging in generally rude behaviour, you show respect for the other person and their time. In a very real sense, good customer service is all about good manners and politeness, and really listening to what people have to say about your products and services. The feedback provided will not only prevent client defection in the here and now, but could also improve current products or help develop new ones.

Word of your genuine concern, for treating others fairly and with respect, will improve your company's public image dramatically. Customers and clients will refer your business to their friends and family, resulting in even more personal referrals. Good old fashioned word of mouth advertising, through testimonials from satisfied customers is a powerful marketing tool. Everyone wants to be treated with respect, and in the modern decline of manners, your business politeness will shine like a beacon in the darkness.

Contrary to the criticism that good manners are a display of weakness, polite and respectful actions are a sign of self confidence. They are also recognition that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity. Instead of taking their money and running, missing their appointments, or barging past them in queues, you are showing you value their time and rights, as well your own.

Many companies have become crusaders of this message. What you show is what you will reap. If you want people to have respect for you, you must show respect. Respect for individual in business will always have a positive impact on you. Learn to treat people well and you will be surprised at the result you will get.

In a world where good manners are in steep decline, your polite actions will help you to stand out. You definitely won't be seen as a doormat.

There is a huge difference between providing service and being subservient. Service implies an equal respect for yourself and others.

Being subservient is based on a lack of self respect, and has nothing to do with being polite. But as you sit in your office reading you might be bombarded with the louder-then-necessary voices of colleagues and the slamming of office and cabinet doors. Many of us might spend more than just a few minutes each day wondering why our society has become so uncivil and rude. I believe there needs to be more action taken against the impolite. It is not enough to just talk about it. Children must be taught civility at home and in school. We must make an effort to educate the adults who maintain this disgusting behaviour.

The next time you hold a door open for someone and they do not thank you simply tell them a 'thank you' is warranted. I am writing this article in an office of a University in Hong Kong where I am conducting a course in advanced journalism When I end this comment, I will walk out into the lecture room next door and ask my neighbours to please keep their voices down. Indeed it becomes a sad day when we have to remind our adult neighbours to be courteous.

Now here is another perfectly good reason why you should have good manners: According to the BBC, a 60-something Filipino American visiting the Philippines won the largest lottery prize ever there. He hit the jackpot of 750 million pesos or about US$17 million. According to the winner, a woman pushed him out of the way to buy her lottery tickets and he let her go ahead. Given that lottery tickets in the Philippines are sold consecutively, if she had waited her turn, she would have ended up with the winning ticket. Instead, because of his politeness, he won instead.

Show your respect for yourself and others. Display your good manners today. It always pays rich dividends.

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