The issue of youth suicides

Lionel WIJESIRI

A recent report revealed that 120 Sri Lankans attempt to commit suicide each day and of those 12 become successful. In simple terms on an average we lose 4,000 people a year due to death by suicide. However, attempts will amount to 50,000 or more a year. This data point should make us sit up and think.

Sri Lanka has, for many years now, been among the countries where suicide and attempted suicide have been frequent. In 1991, we were the highest in the world with 47 suicides per population of 100,000. Due to intervention programmes, the rates began to decline from 1995. The rate of attempted suicides, however, shows no reduction.

Depression, a major risk factor for youth suicide

The national suicide rates in Sri Lanka at any given time during the past two decades show two peaks, the first is of youth suicides and the second in those above 65 years.

Youth suicide is a serious and growing problem. The youth years can be emotionally turbulent and stressful. Modern youths face pressures to succeed and fit in. They may struggle with self-esteem issues, self-doubt, and feelings of alienation. For some, this leads to mental imbalance leading up to depression. And, depression is the major risk factor for youth suicide.

According to American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, in addition to depression, there are other risk factors for youth suicide which include: (1) social isolation and loneliness, (2) intense loss and grief feelings caused by the death of a loved one or the break-up of a relationship, (3) sever family, work, financial, legal or social problems, (4) alcohol or other substance abuse, (5) Severe chronic stress, (6) victims of domestic violence, (7) Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, (8) low self-esteem, (9) difficulties dealing with life changes, (10) serious illness, (12) intense embarrassment or humiliation before family, friends, colleagues.

"As you can see from the list', Laura Giesman, famous American Psychiatric Practitioner who specializes in youth crisis intervention says, "It isn't just people with mental illness who commit suicide."

Motivations

"One of the areas often overlooked because we are so focused on the risk factors," Laura adds, "is youth suicide-seeker's motivation. The major motivation is to avoid or end pain. But there are others such as (1) gain attention, (2) perceive as a martyr for a cause, (3) avenge a perceived wrong, (4) express grief over a relationship, (5) escape an intolerable situation, (6) respond to an internal impulse (like hearing voices telling you to kill yourself), and (7) avoid humiliation."

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry advises the parents to be watchful for the warning signs that their teenager may be considering suicide: (1) change in eating and sleeping habits, (2) withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities, (3) violent or rebellious behaviour, (4) drug and alcohol use, (5) unusual neglect of personal appearance, (6) persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, or a decline in the quality of schoolwork, (7) frequent complaints about physical symptoms, often related to emotions, such as stomach-aches, headaches, fatigue, etc. If one more are persisting, it is time to seek help.

A suicidal youth may not ask for help, but that doesn't mean that help isn't wanted. Most young people who commit suicide don't want to die - they just want to stop hurting. Youth suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously. To those not in the grips of suicidal depression and despair, it may be difficult to understand what drives so many youths to take their own lives. But blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness, and isolation, a suicidal youth cannot see any way of finding relief except through death.

Not chosen

Dr. Friedrich Leubuscher, a noted German Psychiatrist specializing in family therapy, has much to add on to youth emotional problems.

The writer met him in Singapore recently while he was in transit travelling to Australia.

He says, "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain. That's all it's about. For example, if a doctor tells you that your son possesses suicidal tendencies, don't panic.

"Your son is not crazy, or weak, or flawed, because he feels suicidal. It doesn't even mean that really wants to die - it only means that he has more emotional pain than he can cope with right now.

"For example, if I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it."

He continues, "There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to somebody else may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources."

"You can make your son survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce his pain, or (2) find a way to increase his coping resources. Both are possible."

Survival

There are four important things you could do if you want to save your son, continues Dr. Leubuscher.

1) See the world through his eyes. When you can understand your son's world and be compassionate, that is when you have the ability to influence him. To avoid judgment, ask yourself, "Maybe there is something I don't know?" We never know what people are going through and this gets us in a state of curiosity to serve.

2) Motive does matter. Your son can sense whether you have pure intentions or an agenda. You must be open, genuine and very flexible. You must also understand the generation gap and be prepared to give up a lot.

3) Share the three Core Truths. When your son is struggling, he either forgot or is not aware of these truths. He felt alone, hopeless and that the future is painful.

Truth 1 - He is not alone. (Tell him: You are unique in your gifts but not unique in your challenges. You are not alone. Remember - knowing others struggle just like him gives him hope and inspiration.) Truth 2 - He is not broken. (Tell him: You are born a genius but programmed for failure.

It's not you that is broken; it's the programming that is broken. Change the programming, change your life.

Everything in your life has happened for a reason to guide you, protect you, and strengthen you for you to live your purpose.)

Truth 3 - He is loved. (Tell him: People who know you and people who don't even know you love you.

None can survive without love. It is impossible. This is proof that you were loved back then and that love never disappears.)

4) Create a future for him worth living. Without a vision, people perish. Suicidal youth believe the future is so painful that living is far worse than the short term pain of killing oneself.

Make him believe that the struggle he is going through is a gift. Advise him to embrace the struggle because it is a blessing in disguise.

While it may not seem like it, when he overcomes this challenge it will be a gift that guides his life.

Remember - most great leaders in history had to overcome struggles internal and external.

While many people are frustrated by the process of finding the right medications and the side effects of medications, most persons with a psychiatric disorder indicate that medications are critical to their success. For many, the goal is not to be medication-free, but to take the least amount necessary.

Support from family, peers and mental health professionals are essential to recovery from mental illness.

It is especially beneficial to have multiple sources of support. This not only reduces his sense of isolation, but also increases his recognition in the community, allowing him to obtain an integral role in society.