Tapping emotional intelligence for peak performance

Det ‘Norske Veritas, International recently conducted a one-day training program on “Emotional Intelligence.” The program was conducted by CENLEAD CEO Dr. K. Kuhathasan. Here are excerpts from his address

According to Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.

It describes abilities distinct from, but complementary to academic intelligence, the purely cognitive capacities measured by IQ. Many people who are look smart but lack emotional intelligence end up working for people who have lower IQ, than those who excel in emotional intelligence skills.

Daniel Goleman also describes five critical skills of emotional intelligence in his popular book “Emotional Intelligence”. These are based on five ‘domains’ identified by Mayer and Salvey.

* Understanding your emotions

* Managing your emotions

* Motivating yourself

* Recognizing emotion in others

* Handling relationships

Understanding yourself

Understanding your emotions involves knowing yourself in differend ways.

* Emotional self-awareness.

* Assertiveness,

* Self-esteem

* Independence

* Self-actualization

* Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s emotion and their effects

* Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits.

* Self-confidence: A strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities.

Managing your emotions

According to Harry Alder, emotional competence includes the capacity to stay calm, to shake off anxiety, gloom, or irritability. It means not being at the mercy of emotion. People who are poor in this emotional competence are constantly battling feelings of anxiety and regret. Those who excel in it can bounce back far more quickly from life’s setbacks. Handling feelings is an ability that follows naturally from knowing our feelings. Self-awareness, in turn, is a key trait of emotional intelligence. You must also possess.

* Self-Control: Keeping disruptive emotion impulses in check

* Trustworthiness: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity

* Conscientiousness: Taking responsibility for personal performance.

* Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change

* Innovation: Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches, and new information.

Motivating yourself

Harry Alder also advocates that marshalling emotions in the service of a goal is essential for paying attention, self-motivation and creativity.

Emotional self-control often means delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness, and working towards all accomplishments. It may determine whether you have the motivation to see a task through a successful conclusion. People who have this skill tend to be highly productive and effective in whatever they undertake. In a nutshell, prepare yourself for.

* Achievement drive: Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence.

* Commitment: Aligning with the goals of the group or organization.

* Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities.

* Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks

Recognizing emotion in others

Being aware of and appreciating other people’s feelings is central to emotional intelligence. We sometimes call it empathy. We witness it in statements such as ‘I can just imagine how you must have felt.’ It means being able to ‘read’ other people’s emotions, and to make allowances for them in what we say and do. Empathy, another ability that builds on emotional self-awareness, is the fundamental’people skill’. People who have empathy are more attuned to the subtle social signals that indicate what others need or want.

This makes them better at careers such as the caring professions, teaching sales and management. This is part of interpersonal intelligence.

The following questions will help you to check your own empathy rating:

* Are you sensitive to the feelings of other people?

* Are you a good listener?

* Can you quickly grasp how people feel, and why they feel as they do?

* Can you ‘read’ other people’s emotions, from their body language and voice tone as well as their words?

Master the following four areas:

* Understanding others: Sending others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns

* Developing others: Sensing others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities.

* Service orientation: Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs.

* Leveraging diversity: Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people.

Handling relationships

One aspect of inter-personal intelligence is the ability to create and enjoy mutually satisfying relationships. Many problems are people problems. Usually, it’s not “what is the problem”, “but who”? Invariably a problem will have more to do with the relationship dimensions of what’s going on than with the technical issues. This applies equally in work, family or social situation.

Inter-personal skills, such as being able to ‘read people’s feelings’ are important for day-to-day and ad hoc dealings with others, and good relationships depend on them. But whatever ‘people’s, skills you possess, the real test is in the quality of relationships formed and maintained for a long term.

When you get this right, others will like being around you, and find the relationships rewarding and enjoyable. It involves giving and receiving appropriate affection and respect. It means that both parties can’be themselves’ just as in a family relationship. You will know a person has a high EQ in this area because you will feel at ease and comfortable around them. They wont embarrass you or put you on the spot. They emanate warmth and openness, or ‘transparency’.

Here are the sort of self-assessment questions you can ask yourself:

* Are you capable of having mutually satisfying relationships?

* You are able to be comfortable around people, of all types and classes?

* Would you say you have excellent human relations skills?

We all have the potential for satisfying relationships, and generic deficiencies are no excuse. A person with a low EQ can increase it significantly in a couple of months ‘relationship’ self-label is no more relevant than fixed IQ. Brain software, rather than hardware, is what matters we can design it, run it and manage it ourselves. In short, we can think as we want to think and “Change our mind” if we are interested. There’s nothing too technical. For instance, you may need to:

* Recognize your limitation and need for knowledge or skills;

* Change your attitude when necessary;

* Change your self-beliefs;

* Use your goal technology to reach personal relationship goals;

* Practise listening, observing and imaging in how others feel.

Handling relationships, can be summed up as

Building working relationships: Being a team player, having self-confidence, presence and style; being to sell an idea; maturity and integrity.

* Getting things done: Being a self-starter, with drive, energy and a sense of urgency that gets results; showing judgement and common sense; being independent, entrepreneurial, and imaginative; having leadership potential.

* Personal fit: having the qualities of a friend, colleague, and partner; being honest and adhering to one’s values; being motivated; being a sociable, with ‘sparkle’ and a sense of humour; modesty; having a full personal life and outside interests; understanding the firm and its values.