LTTE women cadres lament their fate

First letter:

“My ever loving mamma, papa, grand ma, akka (elder sister), Ranjan Aiya (elder brother), Vijee, Babu, Selvi, Radan, Rajeevan and all others. I pray God Murugan to bless you for a happy life.

Selvi, didn’t you receive my letter? Or, don’t you find time to write to me? Or, don’t you like to write to me? I was waiting for a reply. Take care of grand ma. Rajeevan, be careful of kfir attacks when you go to school. Thanam, don’t go to school when kfir launch attacks.

Is Radan going to work? What is Babu doing? Tell them I reminded all. Vijee, now I am in Manalaru (Welioya) area where clashes erupt constantly. Many of my good friends were killed. I didn’t expect this.

If I did, I would stay at home. Attacks take place everyday. I am not sure of my life. Returning from Welioya is not sure. We don’t get food everyday. Death may come to us today or tomorrow.

You can be anywhere but Welioya is the worst. Despite my resistance, parents handed me over. What shall I do other than die here. Although I come home, I will be taken forcibly again. I don’t want to put my family back in trouble.

I live in fear. Friends who talk to me today are found dead tomorrow. I don’t know when I will die in Welioya but I am sure it will happen soon. What is the use of my living when I think of my friends’ fate.

The home people are also restless. Wherever we are in hiding, they will find us. Our lives are full of sorrow and tears. Please don’t come to see me. Don’t worry about me. You live well with others. Forget that I had been one of your children. I will not be there for you to see.

I have to yield before my fate. God has written my destiny horizontally. I have no dress to wear next month. I write this for a handful of money. Don’t bother if you are unable to send it.”

Second letter

“Mummy, I write this to tell you I am well with the blessings of the God. Mamma, Papa, don’t worry about me. Mamma, don’t miss your meals. If you are ill, go to hospital and take medicine. You will be alright as long as you don’t think of me.

I couldn’t escape arrest when the LTTE did so going to each and every house. Now I can’t decide anything. Mamma, I am longing to see you though I am well aware that my dream will never come true. Please send me the address of my younger sister. Do you know why? I couldn’t see the face of my dear sister.

Asha, you must help mamma. You must look after all four children. I attended to them when I was at home. Asha, Vinusha, Sujiyandan, you all must learn well and take house-hold responsibilities.

You remaining kid, now listen. Your elder sister (the writer) wants to see you. When will you see me? Some day or the other. I never eat as I did with you all at home. I feel sorry about you when I take my meals daily.

Mamma, you suffered a lot to bring me up for eighteen (18) years. After that eighteen years, I was separated from you. Now I am alone. When we will sit again together and eat together, my mind questions. Some day or the other. Mamma, please send me a pair of slippers, food and some dresses. Don’t make sweets mamma.

Mamma, Papa, children in my company always remember you. Papa don’t worry about me. I know you feel it a lot. Mamma, don’t shed tears about me.

I am in the battlefield where constant fights take place. Mamma, you are my only hope. Every child cries mamma or papa when they die. Same way, children falling injured in the field get up uttering the word mamma. Mamma, I am on the Mannar front.

I came there on 08.08.2007. Mamma, we sometimes fight without food, tea or even water. You cannot even imagine the hardships in the battlefield, mamma.

Mamma, don’t be in a hurry to reply me. We run to safer places after obtaining food or water amidst shelling. This is my fate mamma, although I don’t know whether it is right or wrong. Cannot help mamma, this is the order of God. Give my kind regards to all. I conclude my letter.

Your loving daughter

Suya Nareinila
927

Loving somebody is a misery, mamma
Sisters’ love is more miserable
It is like routs hanging from a banyan tree
Therefore, loving is miserable, mamma
Similarly, being away from loved associates is
painful, mamma