It’s really the height of cheek!

Gaston de Rosayro

Remember all of you that love is one of the things that make the world go round. Another is too much liquor. But no one with the fine sense of decency of a wild boar would compare love with liquor.

If such there be, as the poet said, then make a quick shift to a metaphorical gear change by to labelling them ‘vile bores’! Usually when searching for a soul mate, people often seek someone with similar tastes, values and interests as their own. If you look at the couples around you, you find that most men are taller than their women. This isn’t just a coincidence, nor is it as simple as taller being better, although research does show some preference for taller men.

What is interesting is how some women use height, just as they might use hair colour, in gauging their attraction to a potential mate. Most women will end up with a partner taller than themselves, as men are on average the taller sex. The way that tallness is rewarded by society in general goes some way to explaining why some women prefer tall men, as they may be perceived as more powerful and even more attractive.

Women may also feel protected and more feminine by a partner taller than themselves. To back this idea up, women who have more ‘traditional’ views on their role in society have been shown to be less inclined to date shorter men. Fair enough, but if the female preference for taller men is so strong, then why aren’t more women setting their eyes on gangly basketball players.

The average heighted and shorter men would surmise then that in fact taller does not mean better in any endeavour with the exception of basketball. Other factors play as part as well. For one thing, it’s been shown the woman’s own height plays a part requiring the man to be at least as tall as her. The same goes for girth, looks, personality and certainly intellect.

If you’re a shorter gentleman you might be reading this with a heavy heart. But remember that in choosing a partner based on their height, a woman’s own height, attractiveness and relationship expectations come into consideration. Height isn’t everything, by a long chalk, especially when we are talking about long term relationships. Studies reveal that women value intelligence, personality and career over physical appearance when looking for a serious relationship.

But if you’re looking for long-term compatibility and lasting, passionate love, choosing your twin as a mate might not be your best bet. In fact, it is sometimes the couples who are ‘mismatched’ in some areas that make the best mates. What I am trying to say is that it frequently happens that a woman is attracted by someone totally opposite in type.

When searching for a soul mate, people often seek someone with similar tastes, values and interests as their own. How often do you see a statuesque woman lining up at the altar with a midget-sized man who looks like a mascot leprechaun? Or a sprat of a man with a woman of Amazonian proportions, reminding one of a mahout accompanying an elephant?

Still you can’t stereotype short men, tall ones or the average heighted individuals. Nor would it be fair to judge the ‘slobby’ ones, the skinny scarecrows, the bandy-legged or the grotesque lookers. Personality size, however, is another matter.

In short, it is shallow to judge a man by his stature, but lots of people who are short of sensitivity simply cannot help it. But as my affectionate childhood friend Malka says: “There is a special youthfulness about short men. Most retain their boyish looks well beyond manhood. The ageing back problems that plague their taller brothers aren’t as common among short men. Gravity is kinder to them.”

Malka who I mentioned in one of my earlier columns is no ordinary person. She was always hanging around with the boys and was an outstanding marble player even when she was in her rompers. With outstanding ingenuity and faultless aim she plundered our precious collection of multi-hued glass balls. So both figuratively and literally we lost all our marbles to Malka who we aptly dubbed as the ‘Attagirl at Attabola.’

Malka even in those formative years was attracted to boys her own height or shorter. It seemed perfectly reasonable to her, because there are all kinds of equally superficial reasons to be turned on or off by someone. Measuring a man’s attractiveness in vertical inches may be superficial, but at least it is a feature that lasts a lifetime.

Well, Malka was never small-minded or short-sighted in any way. She was not what you would call a long-legged filly, not by a long shot. But rather I would call her dynamically petite. Yet, she always took a giant threatening step towards anyone who attempted to short-change short people, particularly those that did not break the five foot mark.

Bullying of short people invariably left her short-tempered. And even the most incorrigible bully boys were afraid to tangle with a wildcat. Why? Because in short, taller bullies were aware that harassment of their shorter peers would be nearly always be shorthand for a shortened life span when Malka was around. But the long and short of it, I’m afraid, is that both in the short and long term she believed that excessively tall males were rather insecure.

Malka propounded her premise that many of her friends often had bad experiences with men who are towering infernos. She said: “I have always wondered about women who want their men to be a head taller than they are. Perhaps they are uncomfortable about looking their guy in the eye? Or do they just believe that a man doesn’t listen anyway, so why not talk to his chest?”

It came as no surprise then when Malka married our childhood playmate Sonny, to who being short has been no impediment to financial success. It seemed a perfect match. It presented no logistical problem either because Malka herself is just about five feet tall. Malka claimed that they dovetailed perfectly as a couple. She once revealed that Sonny in his youth danced with a six foot four inch Amazonian and his head reached only up to her bosom. Sonny blushed as she quipped with a teasing giggle: “Imagine! He wasn’t dancing exactly cheek to cheek!”

Anyway, that’s enough tall talk from me for now. I’ll be back, though. Shortly, of course!

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