Women’s Rights in islam

Unheard of in the West until recent times :

The issue of gender equality is important, relevant, and current. Debates and writings on the subject are increasing and are diverse in their perspectives. The Islamic perspective on the issue is the least understood and most misrepresented by non-Muslims and some Muslims as well. This article is intended to provide a brief and authentic exposition of what Islam stands for in this regard.

Women in ancient civilizations Part 1

In order to truly understand the status women have been given through Islam, one must compare it with other systems of law that exist today and that existed in the past.

The Indian system

It is stated in the Encyclopedia Britannica, 1911: “In India, subjection was a cardinal principle. Day and night must women be held by their protectors in a state of dependence says Manu. The rule of inheritance was agnatic, that is descent traced through males to the exclusion of females.” In Hindu scriptures, the description of a good wife is as follows: “a woman whose mind, speech and body are kept in subjection, acquires high renown in this world, and, in the next, the same abode with her husband.” (Mace, Marriage East and West).

The Greek system

In Athens, women were not better-off than either the Indian or the Roman women: “Athenian women were always minors, subject to some male – to their father, to their brother, or to some of their male kin.” (Allen, E.A., History of Civilization). Her consent in marriage was not generally thought to be necessary and “she was obliged to submit to the wishes of her parents, and receive from them her husband and her lord, even though he were stranger to her.” (Previous source)

The Roman system

A Roman wife was described by a historian as: “a babe, a minor, a ward, a person incapable of doing or acting anything according to her own individual taste, a person continually under the tutelage and guardianship of her husband.” (Previous source). In The Encyclopedia Britannica, 1911, we find a summary of the legal status of women in the Roman civilization: “In Roman Law a woman was even in historic times completely dependent. If married, she and her property passed into the power of her husband ... the wife was the purchased property of her husband, and like a slave acquired only for his benefit. A woman could not exercise any civil or public office ... could not be a witness, surety, tutor, or curator; she could not adopt or be adopted, or make will or contract.

The British system

In Britain, the right of married women to own property was not recognized until the late 19th Century. “By a series of acts starting with the Married Women's Property Act in 1870, amended in 1882 and 1887, married women achieved the right to own property and to enter into contracts on a par with spinsters, widows, and divorcees.” (Encyclopedia Britannica 1968)

French system

In France, it was not until 1938 that the French Law was amended so as to recognize the eligibility of women to contract. A married woman, however, was still required to secure her husband's permission before she could dispense with her private property.

The Scandinavian system

Among the Scandinavian races women were: “under perpetual tutelage, whether married or unmarried. As late as the Code of Christian V, at the end of the 17th Century, it was enacted that if a woman married without the consent of her tutor he might have, if he wished, administration and usufruct of her goods during her life.” (The Encyclopedia Britannica 1911)

In the Mosaic (Jewish) Law

The wife was betrothed. Explaining this concept, the Encyclopedia Biblica, 1902, states: “To betroth a wife to oneself meant simply to acquire possession of her by payment of the purchase money; the betrothed is a girl for whom the purchase money has been paid.” From the legal point of view, the consent of the girl was not necessary for the validation of her marriage. “The girl's consent is unnecessary and the need for it is nowhere suggested in the Law” (Previous source). As to the right of divorce, we read in the Encyclopedia Biblica: “The woman being man's property, his right to divorce her follows as a matter of course.” The right to divorce was held only by man, The Encyclopedia Britannica, 1911, states: “In the Mosaic Law divorce was a privilege of the husband only...”

The Christian Church

The position of the Christian Church until recent centuries seems to have been influenced by both the Mosaic Law and by the streams of thought that were dominant in its contemporary cultures. In their book, Marriage East and West, David and Vera Mace wrote: “Let no one suppose, either, that our Christian heritage is free of such slighting judgments”.

Islam provides women honor, self-respect

In the midst of the darkness that engulfed the world, the divine revelation echoed in the wide desert of Arabia in the 7th Century with a fresh, noble, and universal message to humanity, described below:

* According to the Holy Quran, men and women have the same human spiritual nature: “O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam) and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women...” (Quran 4:1, see also 7:189, 42:11, 16:72, 32:9, and 15:29)

* God has invested both genders with inherent dignity and has made men and women, collectively the vicegerents of God on earth (see the Quran 17:70 and 2:30).

* The Quran does not blame woman for the “fall of man,” nor does it view pregnancy and childbirth as punishments for “eating from the forbidden tree.” On the contrary, the Quran depicts Adam and Eve as equally responsible for their sin in the Garden, never singling out Eve for blame. Both repented, and both were forgiven (see the Quran 2:36-37 and 7:19-27). In fact, in one verse (Quran 20:121) Adam specifically was blamed. The Quran also esteems pregnancy and childbirth as sufficient reasons for the love and respect due to mothers from their children (Quran 31:14 and 46:15).

* Men and women have the same religious and moral duties and responsibilities. Each human being shall face the consequences of his or her deeds: “So their Lord accepted of them (their supplication and answered them), 'Never will I allow to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female. You are (members) one of another...” (Quran 3:195, see also 74:38, 16:97, 4:124, 33:35, and 57:12)

The Quran is quite clear about the issue of the claimed superiority or inferiority of any human, male or female. The sole basis for superiority of any person over another is piety and righteousness, not gender, color, or nationality (see the Quran 49:13).

The economic status of women in Islam

* The right to possess personal property: Islam decreed a right of which woman was deprived both before Islam and after it (even as late as this century), the right of independent ownership. The Islamic Law recognizes the full property rights of women before and after marriage.

They may buy, sell, or lease any or all of their properties at will. For this reason, Muslim women may keep (and in fact they have traditionally kept) their maiden names after marriage, an indication of their independent property rights as legal entities.

* Financial security and inheritance laws: Financial security is assured for women. They are entitled to receive marital gifts without limit and to keep present and future properties and income for their own security, even after marriage. No married woman is required to spend any amount at all from her property and income on the household.

The woman is entitled also to full financial support during marriage and during the “waiting period” (iddah) in case of divorce or widowhood. Some jurists require, in addition, one year's support in the advent of divorce and widowhood (or until they remarry, if remarriage takes place before the year is over).

A woman who bears a child in marriage is entitled to child support from the child's father. Generally, a Muslim woman is guaranteed support in all stages of her life, as a daughter, wife, mother, or sister.

The financial advantages accorded to women and not to men in marriage and in family have a social counterpart in the provisions that the Quran lays down in the laws of inheritance, which afford the male, in most cases, twice the inheritance of a female. Males do not always inherit more; at times a woman inherits more than a man. In instances where the men inherit more, they ultimately are financially responsible for their female relatives: their wives, daughters, mothers, and sisters. Females inherit less but retain their share for investment and financial security, without any legal obligation to spend any part of it, even for their own sustenance (food, clothing, housing, medication, etc).

It should be noted that before Islam, women themselves were sometimes objects of inheritance (see the Quran 4:19). In some Western countries, even after the advent of Islam, the whole estate of the deceased was given to his/her eldest son. The Quran, however, made it clear that both men and women are entitled to a specified share of the estate of their deceased parents or close relatives. Allah has said: “There is a share for men and a share for women from what is left by parents and those nearest related, whether the property be small or large – a legal share.” (Quran 4:7)

Employment

With regard to the woman's right to seek employment, it should be stated first that Islam regards her role in society as a mother and a wife as her most sacred and essential one. Neither maids nor baby-sitters can possibly take the mother's place as the educator of an upright, complex-free, and carefully-reared child. Such a noble and vital role, which largely shapes the future of nations, cannot be regarded as idleness. However, there is no decree in Islam that forbids women from seeking employment whenever there is a necessity for it, especially in positions which fit her nature best and in which society needs her most. Examples of these professions are nursing, teaching (especially children), medicine, and social and charitable work.

How does a full-time mom find time for Ibadah?

Amani Iqbal

As a new full-time mum with a seven-month-old baby, I found it difficult to find free time for ibadah like I did before. I found that by the time I was done with household duties and baby care my day was over! However, I gradually found a few ways to incorporate ibadah into my daily activities. I thought that perhaps other mums and mums-to-be might find it useful.

1. Keep in mind that every deed the Muslim woman does for her family is rewarded by Allah. The duties of the Muslim woman – i.e the house and children have been specified in the following hadith: Each of you is a shepherd, and each is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a shepherd; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care, (Bukhari and Muslim).

The importance of looking after our husbands – whether it be cooking their meals, keeping them happy by maintaining a clean home or looking after the children well – has been further emphasized in this authentic hadith: A woman came to ask the Prophet (saw) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He asked her, “How are you with him?” She said, “I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.” He said, “Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell.” (Reported by Ahmad and al-Nisa'i with jayyid isnads, and by al-Hakim, who said that its isnad was sahih. See al-Mundhiri, Al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib, 3/52, Kitab al-nikah).

When we have such solid evidences and words of encouragement showing us the great rewards we earn for looking after our husbands, houses and children, there is really no need for us to tire in our efforts to fulfill these duties! Keeping these hadith in mind, we should try to start our day with the niyyah that “every good deed we do for our home and family is for the sake of Allah and to earn his pleasure”. This will help us carry out our household and family responsibilities with joy as we know that they are all counted as ibadah!

2. Make dhikr, lectures, and Quran your companions during chores

A great way to keep yourself alert and active while performing household responsibilities is to listen to lectures or Quran or to do dhikr! It takes away the boredom of repetitive household duties and is a great way to earn ajr from Allah on a daily basis.

3. Take Advantage of Infant Feeding Times

The hardest time for me to stay awake was during the nightly nursing sessions with my son. After trying various other methods, I found that a brilliant way to keep myself awake was by reading Quran, hadith, or any useful Islamic article on my Smartphone! Not only did my tiredness disappear, I also looked forward to waking up at night so I could have some me time with Allah!

These times at night are also great times to ask dua, for we all know the hadith which states: The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Our Lord descends every night to the lowest heaven when the last third of the night remains, and He says, ‘Who will call Me that I might answer him, who will ask of Me that I might give him, who will ask My forgiveness, that I might forgive him?’” [narrated by al-Bukhaari, Kitaab al-Tawheed, 6940; Muslim, Salaat al-Musaafireen, 1262]

It can be difficult at times to concentrate on dua during these night hours, but with regular practice it becomes quite easy and a perfect quiet time to make your most sincere dua!

4. Read your children stories of the Prophets and teach them the Quran

Sometimes it does only when we feel the need to teach our kids that we realize our own need to learn the sunnah and the Quran. Even though I’m still just playing Quran or nasheeds to my baby, I believe as he grows older reading to him stories of the Sahabah or the Prophet (saw) would be a great way to earn ajr as well as instil love for Islam and the Sahabah in our kids. This in itself is a blessing from Allah and a good way of bringing the family closer together too.

5. Make the most of technology

Though there is much fitna in Facebook, YouTube, and mobile phones, I strongly believe using them for good can be a fabulous way of keeping ourselves connected with Islam 24/7. My favourite gadget is my Smart phone which I use to: subscribe to useful YouTube channels to receive the latest Islamic lectures right on my phone which I can listen to anytime

Join Islamic Facebook groups from which I receive daily notes of inspiration based on hadith and Quran and links to useful videos too

Download Quran and hadith apps so you can read on the go

Store pdf and mp3 files to learn Arabic and Quran without the need of a laptop

I hope these little sources of learning and earning ajr prove to be useful to the millions of mums out there. More suggestions and sources would be gladly welcomed by commenting on this blog post. Remember, the main goal is to share and spread the deen among the Ummah as effectively and quickly as possible.

(Amani Iqbal is a full-time mother living in the United Kingdom)

Anger management for parents

Enjoy every moment with your child:

Dr. Mona Youssri.

If you ask a child to draw his mother or father, there is a very big chance that she/he draws a very scary figure with staring eyes...

Anger and aggressive behaviors are very noticeably on the rise. Could it be all the junk food and unhealthy habits? Could it be the recent stressful events all over the world? Are our blooming generations angrier than we were as children?

The definite factor is our effects as parents influencing on a daily basis our children’s behaviors. I truly believe in the saying “children see, children do”! Let us observe a few reflections of our aggression on our children. Just the other day, I saw a couple of girls pretending to be teachers with a couple of boys on the street. They had made the two poor boys raise their arms up in form of punishment and they were shouting at them nervously. Actually, they are all victims of a loud violent environment that robs them from identifying the true image of a caregiver or an educator. If you ask a child to draw his mother or father, there is a very big chance that she/he draws a very scary figure with staring eyes an open mouth and messy hair. Similarly if you give a child some family of dolls, you will find him/her pretending to be one of the parents and acting out a violent encounter with one of the children.

I was recently describing to a parent that we might look really ugly in the eyes of our children when we are angry and she said, “Oh my God, my child asked me; mummy, why do you sometimes turn into a monster?”

Dreams vs. Reality

I remember many of my friends before they got married, dreaming of bringing children into the world and being a wonderful parent. I also recall a big number of them recounting that they will raise the new “Salah ul Din “, the great Islamic leader. So, how come, they forgot all their dreams when their wish of having an offspring was granted? All I see is a lot of frustrations and complaining.

I think what happens is loss of focus, as a mother has a new baby, she gets lost in the daily routine of keeping her child fed and clean while taking care of the house responsibilities in addition to her care for the husband. While the father, gets overwhelmed in the daily requirements of his job. And they both forget to enrich themselves and their children with the more important character reinforcement.

There is also a common misperception, that harsh discipline will produce better-behaved children. On the contrary, and according to studies, the most well behaved children are those who were never spanked. (Murray Straus, Phd).

Abuse

I am also obligated to tell you that according to studies, very rarely do parents who abuse their children physically, do this with intention but it’s more commonly an unintentional escalation of force during disciplining their child (M.Roderiguez).

In my opinion it doesn’t make sense to me that any compassionate religion that says be kind to all people and animals, would recommend hitting children or being violent with them in any way. So, I advise, research again.

So, the moment you decide to hit or spank your child, you are immediately risking an unintentional abuse that may be a reaction to the child’s transgressions. A lot of researches and studies have also indicated a consistent relationship between going through various types of abuse during childhood and suffering of psychopathologies like anxiety or personality disorders during adulthood (Riggs, Sahl, Greenwald, Atkison, Paulson & Ross, 2007). So basically getting angry with your child may cause you to unintentionally harm him/her, may cause various types of psychopathologies and at the least will produce an angrier version of yourself.

As for the religious perspective, some people imply that some religious teachings may indicate disciplining children in a harsh way for instance to make sure they pray.

In my opinion it doesn’t make sense to me that any compassionate religion that says be kind to all people and animals, would recommend hitting children or being violent with them in any way. So, I advise, research again.

Train yourself to be more patient

Believing in the crucial importance of parents training themselves to manage their anger, here are a few tips:

1. Admit that you have an anger problem: this is the first step towards dealing with it.

2. Anger level is changeable: a lot of people say, “ I am a nervous person” thinking it is a permanent trait. Well, its all in your hands, you can regulate your anger level and type.

3. Cognitive learning: make an effort to find out more about anger, its types and how to manage it. You can either read and/or attend workshops.

4: Religion: praying has a cleansing meditative effect on the soul that is resembled by yoga or Reiki. Also committing to religious teachings will help improve social behaviors like forgiveness and tolerance.

5. Learn to be more assertive: choose appropriate words and attitude but always tell others if you are upset about something they did.

6: Relaxation techniques: learn how to do deep breathing, guided imagery and deep muscle relaxation. A lot of gym classes now provide these techniques.

7. Learn how to deal with your child , about positive discipline and behavior management: It’s your homework and obligation as a parent to learn how to raise these precious little humans .If you were raised by an aggressive violent parent, do your best to be the first to break the cycle of abuse and rescue your child from becoming a continuation of the violence.

8. Bigger Goal in life: It is really amazing how our happiness comes from serving others and I believe the more you do for people the happier you are and the more you live for yourself the more unsatisfied you get.

9. Your oxygen mask: It’s very important to put a high level of priority for your own fun, enjoyment and exercise as a parent. If you are not happy and fulfilled as a person, it is nearly impossible that you could raise happy fulfilled children.10. Learn to play: Learn how to play and have fun together as a family. This will bring laughter and joy into your home and will definitely improve skills and enrich the familial bonds.

Dr Mona Youssri is Child Psychiatrist-Egypt