Who bears responsibility for Nobody’s Child?

So soon after the Children’s Day was celebrated, there are stories emerging of children abandoned, tortured and simply left to fend for themselves. There were two stories this morning that did not make my cup of tea very palatable; one of four children abandoned by their drunken father and their mother who has gone abroad for employment to escape their father. And the other of a four year old boy who was tied up and mistreated by his grandmother. Both incidents make news for different reasons - we have problems with the way children are treated in this country.

It used to be until recently that children are typically abused by those outside their immediate family circle. We assumed that the parents and the grandparents would always take care of the children. But that is proving not to be. Increasingly, it seems more and more children are being neglected in their own homes.

How many parents today realize that giving birth to a child is not a mere biological exercise but one that calls for greater responsibility and accountability? For most, it seems that the birth of a child is a part of life, like getting married. They do not think of the long term consequences, wrong moves can have on the child. They do not seem to understand that the child they have will eventually enter the society and leave his or her mark there, whether for good or for bad.

Challenging task

Planned or not, having a child is a process that must be given a lot of thought. Thought about the child’s future, his or her education etc. Parent must think about moral values the child should imbibe and the kind of discipline that is important for the child as he grows up. The child should not be left to his own devices or treated as a piece of furniture or a pet in the house. Many mothers seem to think that as long as the child is fed, educated and clothed, the parental responsibility ends there.

They do not know or forget that bringing up a child is a life long process in which the child must be carefully looked after, nurtured, tutored and mentored until he or she comes of age and becomes a responsible citizen the country and the family can be proud of.

The fault lies with the society at large. Often parents who neglect their children are those who have been neglected or affected children themselves. In our country we pay so little attention to the importance of mental health that many traumatized men and women go on to become traumatized parents who will often pass on some of that trauma to the children they will have. Unless treated, it can become a cycle of vicious repetition, affecting the children and their future.

Giving a child love, affection, responsibility and accountability are traits that will empower the child to become a responsible adult. A child who has been brought up right will always display values, empathy, affection and a sense of gratitude and responsibility. It is not easy bringing up today’s children, either.

Innovative ways

They demand much more than those of their parents’ generations. It can be a challenging task to bring them up right. They face much more obstacles and tests than ever. They must outperform competition, outdo others and take part in a rat race that never seems to end. It is easier for them to be lured by dangerous parties right in the comfort of their own homes via Internet and mobile telephones.

They are fine tuned with today’s technology that defies their parents. They can become victims of abuse in no time. Neglected, they can become silent time bombs that can wreck havoc in their own lives and that of those nearest to them.

Children’s are God’s greatest gift to mankind - and the hope and future of any country. We need to learn to nurture and take care of the children we have. As a country, we must be able to empower our men and women with the new and innovative ways of dealing with children.

There must be avenues open for parents who cannot afford to feed their children, to leave such children in the care of the state instead of neglecting them or abusing them.

Often, such parents themselves need guidance and counselling. They are caught in the vicious trap of poverty and lack of education. Sometimes the parents are the learned but not educated in the matters of the world. Whatever or whoever they are, they need to understand the child of today on the child’s terms in order to reach out to them and make a difference in their lives.