Rivalry and charms among brothers-in-arms

Gaston de Rosayro

Now as most people know both Army and Navy personnel try to portray a mutual respect for each other’s branches. They both want to show that their outfit is better, smarter, faster, braver and more brilliant than their counterpart.

This is amply demonstrated by my good friend Godfrey a pukkah sahib Army officer. True, most soldiers and sailors outwardly display a brothers-in-arms bonhomie towards their forces counterparts. But beneath that veneer of reciprocal respect there has always been an underlying sense of unmitigated rivalry between the two camps. And more so with Godfrey because he always tried to conceal an ancient blood feud with a mutual Naval officer friend of ours named Oscar.

Both Godfrey and Oscar were dashing young commissioned officers at the time. Godfrey joined the Army as a Second Lieutenant while Oscar at the time was a Naval Acting Sub-Lieutenant. They were both pugilists and entered the Clifford Cup Boxing Championships in the Flyweight Division. Boxing being a man to man game was immensely popular at the time and drew not only huge crowds but also a considerable number of eager competitors.

By some stroke of fate the two were pitted against each other in the finals. Service supporters of all ranks from both the Army and Navy created a huge tumult as the duo faced each other in the ring.

It was a ding-dong bruising battle with neither of them giving quarter. The two childhood friends who had been clinking glasses and exchanging Christmas gifts only a week before were now exchanging punishing punches toe-to-toe.

The crowd roared its approval as both antagonists fought on gamely. They were both battered, bruised and bloody when the referee stopped the fight. The judges’ verdict was ‘Even-Stephen’ as they call a tie in pugilist jargon and they had to share the championship trophy.

Oscar had gifted his opponent with a broken nose which he carries around with him to this day. Godfrey had reciprocated with as violent a compound interest marring his rival’s comeliness by bestowing him with a sort of hair-lip. But they were great buddies. Godfrey later married and chose Oscar, who remained a bachelor, as his Best-man. Oscar evaded matrimony with the side-stepping agility of a tango dancer until he was finally lassoed and entangled in the nuptial knots when he was in his mid sixties.

Family legend has it that years ago Godfrey’s youngest daughter Lily had fallen in love with a handsome and courteous young Naval officer. That was a time when all officers of the armed forces were gentlemen and only gentlemen were recruited as officers.

Whenever the young man was off duty he would dress up in all his civilian finery and in the refined etiquette of a suitor of the times would come calling on the young maiden of his dreams. The story goes that a rather fierce-looking Godfrey had entered the sitting room around 10.30 at night where the young Naval buck was courting his daughter.

Godfrey, they say had his watch in his hand and inquired from the young suitor: “Young man do you know what the time is?” The alarmed courter stuttered: “Y-y-yes-yes Sir, I was just about to leave!” After he had scrambled Godfrey had turned to his piqued daughter in mock astonishment and said: “What was the matter with your fellow? My watch has stopped running and I simply wanted to know the time.”

Now, Godfrey is not a habitual churchgoer although his family never fails to regularly attend Sunday services. So on Father’s Day he was virtually frog-marched to church by his battalion of grandchildren. His littlest grand-daughter handed him a bouquet of roses which he was supposed to hand over to the pastor at the offering.

Godfrey handed the blooms over to his wife Eva and in his finest parade ground tone thundered : “No self-respecting commanding officer will lead the Army of the Lord with a bunch of flowers in his hand. I have a better idea. Your grandmother will carry the bouquet.” He then proceeded to his mini bar and extracted a bottle of gift-wrapped premium wine.

As usual at the end of the service the parish priest was standing at the door to shake hands. He grabbed Godfrey by the arm and pulled him aside. The pastor said: “General, you need to join the Army of the Lord!” Godfrey smiled and his eyes twinkled as he explained: “I am already in the Army of the Lord, Father.” The priest questioned: “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter and now on Father’s Day?” Godfrey whispered back, “Shhhh Father, I am in the secret service.”

Both Godfrey and Oscar retired after distinguished service careers. Godfrey as Major General and Oscar as Rear Admiral. They both possess a superb sense of humour and are brimming with mischievous intellect. Wherever they are together they always make the location a veritable duelling ground. The flash and ring of wordplay flies like sparks from fencing foils as the two good-naturedly hurl witty insults at each other.

Usually at parties when family and guests gather round the piano Godfrey with his pleasant bass voice launches into one of his own compositions: “I am a sailor sailing on the sea. Now never trust a sailor an inch above your knee!” And Oscar would counter in his baritone: “Forward Godfrey’s army, marching without fear, With our old commander, safely in the rear. And thinks he’s very brave, But the men who really did the job are dead and in their grave.”

Godfrey’s daughter Lily and the young Naval officer married eventually. The emotional father marched ramrod straight down the church aisle with the bride on his arm. Just as he was about to hand the bride to his future-son-in-law he trampled her long flowing veil tripping her and almost sending her sprawling to the floor. Disaster was averted as the groom lurched forward and grabbed his falling betrothed.

Later during the reception Oscar proposing the toast to the newlyweds quipped: “You all did see the General giving the bride away which is a traditional custom. But I am certain that when the lovely lass Lily tripped it was the first time in history that a bride would have wanted to give her father away!”

But Godfrey got his own back when his friend Oscar married his widowed childhood sweetheart. As the elderly bride and groom entered the reception hall Godfrey walked on to the bandstand. Grabbing the microphone he snapped his fingers in a pre-arranged cue to the bandleader.

There was no mistaking the mischievous delight in the General’s booming bass voice as he belted out the old- time Sinhala favourite of the fifties: Seeya manamalaya naki ilandhariya...

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