Of men with makeup

Gaston de Rosayro

It is official. Men are now wearing makeup. Do not believe me? I do not blame you. I was a disbeliever too until I witnessed it with my own pair of gaping ‘peepers.’ Actually, it was only last week when I accompanied the wife to the latest beauty parlour in town to have her hair done.

It is certainly a chic place, as far as clinically chic places go. A personable young receptionist with jet-black spiky hair signed my wife in. His head resembled the dishevelled spikes of a porcupine which had just emerged after a raging battle.

Young Porcuspikes then turned to me and with utmost politeness asked: “Would you like a haircut as well, sir?” I shook my head as I made a tactical retreat fearing that if he got any closer he could poke my eyes out with his tonsorial spines. He was joined by a petite beautician with a surgical mask at half mast who tried to convince me to try a facial, a pedicure and manicure. I declined as graciously as I could.

But she was persuasive and asked me to visit the cosmetics section, where entire shelves were now dedicated to men. My curiosity aroused I followed her. Oh, I thought, guys have gone from secretly filching some of their women’s moisturizers to owning enough beauty products to make most transvestites blush.

Beyond swanky moisturizers and shaving creams, there was on offer a scandalous assortment of toiletries that tailor to the new male vanity. I am talking about concealers, foundations, skin toners and bronzers, nail varnish and even lipstick, words that until now have been nonexistent in the male lexicon.

I asked her: “But aren’t these se rvices and products traditionally aimed at women, such as eye-liner, fake tan and spot or blemish concealer?” She looked at me pityingly and I was made to understand that long gone are the days when lipstick and eye-liner were reserved for women. From eyeliner, sorry, 'guy-liner' to mascara, begging your pardon again, 'manscara', thousands of males had taken to wearing make-up regularly.

Times sure are a-changing with the young urban male all set to take over the traditionally female bastion of beauty parlours and cosmetics. They certainly take care of their appearance in a way that would have had their grandfathers spluttering into their happy hour highballs.

Now, I have always understood that cosmetics is a woman’s means for keeping a man from reading between the lines. But some men appear to have taken to make up as a sort of religion and are born-again cosmeticians. It seems men are not just content to indulge in a little beauty therapy, they want to be the ones dishing it out as well. There were many young hip-hopper therapists and some older ones as well sashaying around in tight pants while preaching the dangers of loose jowls.

Someone coined the term "metrosexual man," the newest catchphrase to hit the gender studies glossary. Essentially, he is a single, straight young man who indulges in traditionally feminine pursuits. No one even bats an eyelash or raises an eyebrow these days about male make up, it seems.

But there were some ageing regulars as well. The clientele was mixed hodgepodge of the young, the middle-aged and an oldster on the wrong side of seventy who came tottering in with the aid of a walking stick.

The beautician enlightened me that the application of face masks has not yet picked up to the expected level of acceptance among men as yet. While most other forms of grooming that had been women only territory till late has turned unisex, usage of face mask has yet a lot of learning to be done prior usage. I suggested that a good many of them should be advised to actually wear permanent face masks – both before and after make up – to spare the world the horror of their appearances.

Just then as if to bolster my argument the old limper with his ubiquitous walking stick emerged from his ministrations like a spectre out of a horror movie. He actually looked like Dracula’s twin, his face completely overshadowed by the eyeliner which must have cost a bomb. I could easily have given him two black eyes for free, gratis and for nothing.

Perhaps it would do men good to hang on to a few traditional concepts of manhood so we do not lose sight of who we are. How long will it be until men start going to the bathroom in pairs to touch up their foundation? Or gossip about their girlfriends while sitting under the perm hair dryer, their feet soaking in skin toner?

There is something admirable about the man who takes his imperfections with grace and carries on with his life. Maintaining a good image is fine, but let us draw the line at face paint. Let the drag queens keep that.