Social and emotional development of a child
Lal Fonseka Productivity Consultant, Brandix Lanka
Limited
Child in the warmth of her father
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Last week we talked about the socialisation and schools and we ended
up the column describing the three types of schools namely the village
schools, national schools and popular schools. Today we will discuss
further on the subject paying special attention to the Social emotional
development. I am a father of two children and I do still remember the
first day of kindergarten of both of my children.
On this day, it was observed that the children arrived with new
clothes, lunch boxes, book bags stuffed with wide-line tablets, fat
pencils and a box of 100 crayons. As a father, I watched not only the
faces of my children ,the faces of the other children and those of their
parents and realised that some of these children were not ready to leave
home. Small hands clutched a parent’s hand, eyes brimmed with tears and
even a few sobs echoed from one corner of the room. For some, the
socialisation process had not occurred. In fact, I also had to face the
same episode.
Social-emotional development
As I pointed out last week, Specific tasks related to social
development occur in early childhood, just like developmental tasks
occur in cognitive growth. The term social refers to a relationship or
interaction between two or more people, who by definition respond to
each other and influence each other’s behavior. Socialization is an
important process in child development. Stated simply, it is the process
whereby individuals, especially children, become functioning members of
a particular group and take on the values, behaviors and beliefs of the
group’s other members. Although the process begins shortly after birth
and continues into adulthood, the age of early childhood is a crucial
period of socialization.
How children are disciplined, how they respond to this discipline and
how they develop independent behavior are all connected to the process
in which socialisation occurs.
The family and parental influences
Families are different and the role of the family is changing.
According to Smart and Smart (1980), “Each family is unique in the
expectations of the people in various roles, in its patterns of
interaction, its history of development and its relationship with other
systems” (p.21). However, family categories usually fall into three
groups: Nuclear family, extended family and single parent household.
The nuclear family consists of a mother, father and two children
living together.
When two or more families live together, this is known as an extended
family. Within this group are grandparents, uncles, aunts or other
relatives.
The third family group is that of single parent households. The
proportion of children living in single-parent homes more than doubled
between 1970 and 2000. Children living only with their mothers were more
than twice as likely to live in poverty as those living with only their
fathers.
Dimensions of parental behaviour
Researchers believe that acceptance-rejection and control-autonomy
are contributing factors that determine a family’s attitude toward child
rearing. The structure of the family and the personality characteristics
of individual parents make a difference in socialisation as will be
demonstrated in the following examples.
Jayantha, a father of two young children, believes that spending time
each day with his kids is vital to developing strong family ties. During
this time, the children talk about their day, engage in some type of
physical activity, such as going for a walk, playing with their dog or
enjoying simple games. Hugging his children, telling them how important
they are in Jayantha’s life is a part of each day. In return, his
children feel accepted in this warm environment. His friends often
remark, “Your children show such responsibility and self-control. What
are you doing that makes a difference?” When children feel this level of
acceptance, they want to please and parents become their best role
model.
Next, let us look at Deepa, a mother of a six-year-old. At the end of
a long workday, Deepa is exhausted. Instead of giving her daughter a few
minutes of quality time when she comes home, she immediately starts
working on the home chores. “Every time I want to talk to my mother, she
is too busy, too tired, or says ‘wait till later’,” remarks her
daughter. Later never seems to come. Parents who use rejection in
parental behavior may have children who are hostile and aggressive
toward others.
I recall a home of six youngsters where the children were extremely
well behaved. Some years later I talked with one of the adolescent boys
in that home and he said, “On occasion, my father had to watch us while
our mother ran to the grocery store.
He made each one of us sit on the couch and dared us to move. A large
paddle stood nearby. We were scared to death of him.” Restrictive
parents who use strict control usually have children who are well
behaved. However, these children may be highly dependent on the parents.
On the other hand, parents and teachers that are highly permissive
allow children to make the rules. In these settings, the child is
clearly the ‘boss’.
Take for example, Chandrakala and her three year-old son. “Whenever
my friends visit, my son interrupts constantly, jumps on the furniture
and is loud and noisy,” says Chandrakala.
“Often I have to count to three several times. Nothing seems to
help.” Children who see autonomy as a form of parental and caregiver
behavior may be sociable and assertive youngsters who are aggressive.
Achieving a balance between these dimensions of parental behavior
seems to be the ideal, yet it is difficult to accomplish.
Punishment and discipline
The approach to punishment and discipline is another developmental
task of learning. When children misbehave, teachers or parents may use
some form of discipline. This approach may be in the form of spanking,
scolding, yelling, embarrassing or making the child feel inferior or
unloved. Often a combination of these is involved. These negative
approaches may have unwanted results (Park, 1977).
Parents and teachers that rely on a positive approach to discipline
teach the child the appropriate behavior and reinforce that behavior,
which makes it less likely to recur in the future. For example, if a
child turns over their milk at the table, have them clean up the spill
instead of punishing.
This positive approach teaches the child what to do when an accident
happens.In many instances I have noticed in my researches that parents
instead of taking some positive preventive actions prefer to take
corrective action by imposing some punishments.
Consistency is vital in guiding children to a higher level of
socialization. Often teachers scold or punish a child for a behavior one
day, and the next appear to ignore the same behavior.
This happens due to the mood of the teacher at the moment.
Consistency in discipline allows the child to know what he can and
cannot do. Parents and teachers can assist children in socialization by
building a sense of trust and a feeling they can have some control over
their life (Maccoby, 1980).
Children who are disruptive and seek attention may draw attention to
self through silly behaviors, immature or regressive actions, loud
talking and making inappropriate noises or gestures.
Conclusion Educators and sociologists seem to agree that
socialization of the child determines how the adult relates to life.
Society often dictates expectations. Teachers and parents working
together as a team can help children reach higher standards of
socialization. |