No society exists without taboos
There
is a five-letter word in the Oxford Dictionary the sound of which has a
mixture of warning, embarrassment and contempt wrapped within it. This
magic word ‘TABOO’ was originally used by the Filipinos, later adopted
by the French and ultimately by the English.
Taboo in simple terms signifies a form of restraint on social
behaviour. It is classified as, “prohibition of words, actions or
anything that is prohibited by tradition or social usage”. But in simple
terms, how could one easily draw a line in determining this so-called
social standard?
The social revolution that has taken place over the centuries
progressively, and the conclusive liberation we see in the world today,
is quite capable of sending shock waves to our grandmothers in their
peaceful graves!
Affluent myth
In Sri Lanka, criticism is also levelled against a diminutive section
of the so-called ‘affluent’ society, who still believes in a blanket
theory of being ‘with it’ and behaving in a ‘post-colonial’ manner,
which in their minds is ‘sophisticated and superior’ to others! This
excludes the types who are spiritually inclined or opened up their
intelligence where they see no difference in humanity. Yet the majority
of the society points a finger at the so called ‘sophisticated lot’ for
such pseudo beliefs and says that development of a nation should
continue homogeneously in tandem with industrial and cultural values
embracing the entire society as a single unit rather than in fragments.
When a taboo or any acknowledged restraint in social behaviour is
broken, the result can be either hilarious or painful.
Social customs normally demand that one does not draw attention to
any physical defect (except, of course, behind one’s back!) Children
being naturally cruel, through their innocence, are exempt from this
kindliness. A child may call another by any variety of taunting words.
Small children are naturally exempt from keeping the taboos from a
particular social environment not because they are a privileged bunch
but because a sense of tact is something that psychologists believe does
not develop in a human being until around the seventh or eighth year.
Prior to that age, any painful outspokenness is socially accepted,
permitted and tolerated simply because there is no control over the very
young at any cost.
Fashion and Belly Button
Taboo in words and customs follows fashion too. What is unthinkable
one day becomes permissible on another. What we saw in women’s dress
code a decade or two ago in Sri Lanka was similar to that of the old
English Victorian style covering the body decently. Today such
disciplines have flown through the window and started to blend with new
thinking which dictates, If you have ‘em why not flaunt ‘em attitude.
Even the kaba-kuruthtuwa (the long sleeved jacket) worn by women
especially in down South areas, has now been replaced by the short
sleeved blouse donned with the cloth to expose their bodies, with the
third button undone at times! Dress fashions of young women are being
increasingly replaced by new designs exposing both shoulders with
low-cut-neck tops and shapely legs.
The elegantly draped sari of the ‘office girl’ which once projected
the Asian woman’s femininity and agility has now transformed into what
is called hipsters with an eight inch broad midrib exposure, beyond
belly button and belly studs projecting her as a sex symbol with
noticeable tattoos on the neck and shoulders. Equally many others, who
do not have the wisdom of dressing expose their bulging out flesh and
sagging bellies and walk in public to become odd muscular pieces of
humanity! Today the whole concept of ethics, fashions and culture, seem
to have vanquished.
During the 1900s, it was taboo to admit that a woman was not a
virgin, but today the trend appears to have an upturned effect in many
parts of the world! In France, even to this day, it is taboo for an
older woman to have an affair with a young man!
Although the taboos are there to save face and the feelings of other
persons in a social environment, these are inflexibly kept primarily to
save one. For instance, if a wife tells her husband that he snores, she
may find herself in a single bed.
If she tells him he is getting bulky and bald he may seek solace with
someone who better obeys the convention.
“Self-importance” is taboo in England, very much accepted in France,
vitally essential in America and highly traditional in Sri Lanka!
To be courteous, helpful and serve one another is considered more
humane than convention.
A Westerner leading his lady by her hand is highly traditional but
appears to be taboo with some Orients. An Asian walking ahead of his
wife on a high street or darting across a busy traffic flow leaving his
cherished lady on the other side of the road, for his dear life, is
hilarious but appears to be somewhat habitual.
Taboos are based on the needs of man, though it only functions
socially they have no meaning to the inner or individual person. Like
religion and superstition, when we attempt to break their decree, we
find ourselves uneasy without them - courageous and honest may be, but
very lonely.
As most of us are gregarious, the best thing we can do for our
happiness is to leave a social group whose taboos seem to us offensive
or ludicrous, and seek another whose taboos suit us better, because rest
assured, there is no society that exists without them, be it the cream
of the elite or a gang of hooligans.
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