My Dear Son,

I take it for granted, that going from a rural school to a foreign University, you must still be wary of strangers and new faces. And, you probably yet do not feel confident of the ability to play your role in general conversation with your new friends. But don’t be uneasy. It’ll take a little time. Soon, you will get used to it.

In this letter, I am going to point out six conversational faults, of which young men like you are liable to be guilty. I am sure you will take my advice in the right spirit. The first advice is about basic communication skills. Don’t talk much of yourself, your family or your achievements and also be on your guard against getting into the habit of telling long stories. Before long, you will be set down as a bore. Lively anecdotes or short narratives are among the most amusing ingredients in any conversation. Even with them, if you often meet the same friends, there is danger of falling into repetition.

My second advice is about the quality of communication. Never be guilty of falling into the practice of indulging in scandal, the practice of talking of others disparagingly or of running them down behind their backs. It doesn’t mean that you have to speak favourably of a character or of conduct which does not deserve it. But beware of detraction. Do not make the tearing of a character in pieces a matter of amusement. By such conduct you would not only be guilty of a gross violation of your ethical principles, but will probably bring yourself into many scrapes in a social point of view.

Do not indulge yourself in a habit of backchat or banter. It is liable to give pain to anyone who is the object of it. This is not only annoying to him but painful to all others who chance to be present. You may join in or witness an honest hearty laugh, when anything really calls for it. Beware, however, of the practice of laughing when there is nothing to laugh at. Be always the last to laugh at your own jokes, or your own good stories.

My third advice relates to confrontation. Remember son, as you get on in society, you will sometimes get into arguments with others. When this happens, be concerned to give the full weight to the arguments of your opponent. Let not the force of your own reasoning, render you blind to what is urged against you. Above all, keep your cool. If you lose your temper, victory will be deprived of its credit and defeat will be more disgraceful.

Dear Son, you have arrived at a period of life, when your maximum vigilance will be required to keep your natural passions and appetites within proper bounds. But, all your care will be futile unless you develop a culture of grace and dignity. I hope my advice will help you to develop that culture.

Lovingly Yours,
Thaththa