Letter from a father
Lionel Wijesiri
My Dear Son,
This letter may come as a surprise to you and I know it is just a
little bit too late, but it took me that much of time and courage to do
the thinking, take up the pen and write down my thoughts and feelings.
Secondly, and most important, it still has not dawned on me that you are
no longer a child but a teenager.
It was only yesterday, you wanted to perch on my
shoulders... |
Your mother tells me that you have now settled down in the new campus
and looking forward to the beginning of the study sessions next week.
Believe me, son, I was so happy and proud of you. I almost cried.
I can still remember, as if it was only yesterday, that you would
insist on sitting on my lap in the morning, while I was reading the
newspaper, with the bottle in your mouth and trying to understand what
was happening in the world around you. It was only yesterday, you wanted
to perch on my shoulders to get a bird’s eye view or it was just that
you wanted to be taller than your father. Probably, these are the few
things I might tell your children when I can no longer walk, sitting in
my easy chair outside in the morning sun.
I have been harsh, sometimes strict and sometimes indifferent but
probably in my mind I have not got used to you growing up. I still feel
protective and wish that you do everything right. The over
protectiveness is another name for love in the dictionary of parents.
True love, as I understand, creates an atmosphere, where two can
flourish and achieve great things, which one cannot achieve alone. I
probably wanted you to achieve many things, which you dream of, but find
it just outside your reach.
In the coming years, you will be amazed to find out how little your
father knows, you may be disappointed at times, heartbroken and
sometimes frustrated, but it is a fact you will have to face one day.
You may find me embarrassing at times, when I cannot talk to your
friends, the way you expect your father to. It is possible that you
might find your father stupid, dumb, orthodox and mean. But even in
those moments you may wish to remember that I can risk being called
names because I love you and want the best for you, now and always.
Sometimes, in desperation, I might say, “Go ahead and do whatever you
feel like, spoil your life.” But what makes a father’s task difficult is
that he knows that there is no way he can hold his son’s hand and help
him cross the dividing line or barrier between childhood and adulthood.
It is something he will have to do it himself, all on his own, picking
up the pebbles, removing the thorns, surmounting the barriers and
achieving his dreams.
Just remember that there are always dreams to be fulfilled, promises
to be kept, goals to be achieved, rivers to be crossed, mountains to be
climbed, contests to be won and happiness to be earned. But, all this
cannot happen overnight and it is a very slow and gradual process and
not an easy journey, even though you may wish it to be so. Your dreams
are your own, your actions are yours and your life is to be lived the
way you wish. I can only advise and guide you. It is up to you to accept
or reject them, listen to them or close your ears, take them with a
smile or with a frown, accept with humility or defiance.
Until I write to you next week, bye son.
Always yours, Thaththa |