One more reason (to live)

I met someone new a couple of months back. The acquaintance started on an official note but later I became one of his few closest friends. At first I was baffled on what to do with him but later I was on surer grounds. The fact which mystified me was that nobody had started to pour out their heart to me in such a short period.

It was hard to piece the incidents together and know how exactly to help him. He did not like to reveal too much yet he wanted to talk to someone. My sympathetic ear seemed a blessing in disguise. I have yet to hear the story but somehow I gathered that it is similar to my own.

That drew me to him because it reminded me of myself.

His emotions are more of an open book while my skeletons are locked in the closet. That is why nobody except a very sharp eye will know the difference between my cheery outlook and the heart which weeps within.

All I can gather for now is this. We are two very different personalities who have most likely faced one of the deepest tragedies in life. Both our souls are scarred and parched beyond the limits because of the loss of someone close to our hearts.

Friends try to sooth us. They offer kind words which act like a balm. They sprinkle temporary droplets of pleasure across our path. But even their strength of kindness is not enough to cure the deep rooted conquer or rejuvenate our cracked soul. Short-term relief, they may be, but the gestures and words will be remembered always. They help us bear the pain a little longer and stop the pain which trusts into our hearts like red hot daggers.

There are times when he demands a lot of attention. There are moments when I set my work aside to bring him out of the depths of despair. To him I am the cheery, witty, happy-go-lucky person Shehara, who takes each day as it comes and enjoys life to the fullest. But dear friend, if only you knew that -

I who encourage you to look at life with cheer each passing day…

I who ask you to leave your unique imprint on life each passing day…

I who answer nearly every SMS you send each passing day…

I who had lent an ear to your heart wrenching woes each passing day...

Had not so long ago gone to meet Death himself.

I asked him to embrace me and take me to his world. He painted a vision before me. It was a pathetic picture of my loved ones. I realized how much sorrow I would leave behind.

My friend does not know that an equally wounded soul had come to his rescue. I might never tell him my story. Time will decide that and how long a run the relationship will last. He might find someone more to his tastes and move on but I hope he will still remain one of my friends.

I will offer my hand once again to drag one more soul out of the current. I will make him laugh over my jokes and help him find new interests. I will lend my shoulder for him to cry on and help him to tolerate or enjoy the years ahead.

Shehara - [email protected]