No wonder...

They can’t get seats on public transport easily:

Ganga Illeperuma

She stood. No one gave a seat for her. I looked around, still no one came forward. I couldn’t give her my seat because I sat at the corner of the compartment. She was in the other corner. She couldn’t reach me as passengers crowded in. The train was late (which seems the norm usually in Sri Lanka). It was also the Poson Poya day. She was a pregnant woman in her latter stage having trouble getting a seat on public transport

Most of the events related by pregnant women are similar. There are several reasons for this, I think. The public transport system is chaotic to say the least. Add to this the selfishness of most passengers towards fellow passengers and what do you get: Anarchism Plus.

I often see young people, as if plastered to their seats and refusing to look up in case they should catch the eye of a needier passenger.

Are these people unsocial? In the train I take regularly, I notice some young women too (not pregnant ones) who seem to be happy to jostle and elbow their way, quite ruthlessly, to get a vacant seat.

There’s another difficulty. It is sometimes not easy to tell if a woman is expecting a baby or is plump in the middle. With an apple-shaped woman, for example, how can you tell for sure whether she is pregnant? Very few expectant mothers, actually, are tall and skinny but with a massive bump.

The best thing obviously is to assume that she is pregnant. And, besides, even if she is not pregnant, she would probably like to sit down, so no harm is done if she is offered a seat. There are ways of offering a person your seat without causing any embarrassment even if you’ve made a mistake in identifying her as pregnant.

You don’t have to shout at the top of your voice, “Are you pregnant, or fat?” Some pregnant women experience discomfort in their feet, which may grow in size, and most mothers suffer from extreme morning sickness.

It’s only after a few minutes that an expecting mother could have a seat from a middle aged man. Most of the time it looks men are the ones offering their seats to pregnant women.

I looked around again. There were many elderly people standing and one man was carrying his daughter standing. No one gave them seats. And almost all the young people sat simply and chattered while some were eating. The train was over-crowded and there were much luggage and baggage too. I assumed since it was Poson Poya day the majority of passengers were travelling to Anuradhapura. I felt sorry for the unfortunate people. Visiting Anuradhapura on Poya day is good but if they could give a seat to a needy people it could have been better on this great day.

Looking from one perspective I found not all pregnant women can get seats. Men appear to offer seats for pregnant women. There may be a reason for that too. It is the men who are the sitting majority in a compartment since they are able to jump in on even a moving train to grab a seat. I noticed out of 10 seated passengers 6 were men. So if a pregnant woman gets into the train the chances are that it’ll be a man who’s offering her a seat.

It’s also common to see when a pregnant woman gets in passengers looking away or seemingly dozing. There may be a sociological aspect to all this. Healthy looking passengers may be suffering from an invisible ailment and are unable to stand. Still despite their illness there are folk who still offer their place. It made me wonder that all this boils down to one’s upbringing and compassion towards another.

Personally what I’d wish is if one is able to offer a helping hand or seat at your young age. It is a meritorious service. If you are pregnant you must TRY to avoid facing these unnecessary problems. This is only a small example. If you want to travel to mMatara by bus from Colombo the best thing is, to embus from the starting point if you can help it.

The other suggestion is if you are pregnant please wear a maternity dress. It’s just like your uniform and it is only for this period of pregnancy. There is a very good selection for them in shops and most of them are inexpensive. When you wear this dress, passengers can easily recognise you and they can offer their seat without any doubt. And you should remember to give your seat again to the passenger who offered you a seat when you get down.. Most mothers don’t do it.

When you have a seat if you say ‘thank you’ or give a smile in acknowledgement, they will be happy without you sitting snootily.

Remember words are more powerful. Your kindness will encourage a passenger to give a seat to other pregnant women in the future. Your kindness will be the best gift!