Childhood’s end?
Kankana Basu
The series of juvenile suicides, 26 in four weeks, has Mumbai on the
edge. The pressure to perform and the lack of supporting family
structures often lead youth to the precipice. Perhaps it’s time to
reassess our notions of success and well-being?
Living in the dark and dying in the dark |
There is a new kind of disease rampant in the city of Mumbai, one
that does not respond to the usual lines of treatment. With more than 26
juvenile suicides reported in a span of just four weeks, parents,
teachers, counsellors and students in the city are on the edge.
While the causes are varied, parental permission denied to learn
dancing/ watch television, failure in examinations, tiff with parents/
classmates, child suspended from school for bunking classes/ copying,
the recent victims are terrifyingly young (10-20 years). The apparent
cause of suicide, feel the specialists, is often merely a trigger for a
deeper and more complex underlying problem.
There is a definite indication, worry social scientists, that the
social fabric of the city, which is supposed to nurture and enhance the
growing years of children, is beginning to shred in places.
Need for empathy “What most disturbed children need is a patient and
sympathetic listener. Many a suicide has been averted with a bit of
timely empathy,” says city-based student counsellor, Swati Naik. “Some
decades back, the joint family system ruled supreme in Indian society
and a child upset about something usually came back home to sympathetic
grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins who were always willing to pitch
in with assistance and lend a ear,” she expands.
However, the domestic structure undergoing changes and giving way to
an age of nuclear families has resulted in disturbances at various
levels. With both parents frequently working, children often let
themselves into empty houses after school/ college.
A father mourning his loss |
This could be depressing when a child is overwrought about something.
Added to that, parents, when they return home, are often preoccupied
with career and relationship hassles. It is this feeling of being
isolated in a crisis that often tips the balance for troubled
youngsters. Cutting across class The specialists are worried to note
that the recent spate of suicides makes a clean slice through different
strata of society. While 14-year-old Rajesh Yadav, who hanged himself
from the ceiling fan, was the son of a humble floor polisher, Mahesh
Poddar’s daughter, besides hailing from an affluent background, had
scored 82 percent in Class X.
While the former was suspended for bunking classes, the latter had
missed out on securing admission to the college of her choice. Mahesh
Poddar looks back with heartache as he recalls his daughter constantly
checking her palm to see how long her lifeline was, days before she
killed herself. Poddar has now turned an active crusader for the
promotion of mental health in the city. Social scientist Dr. Harish
Shetty feels that besides poor emotional contact between parents and
children, bad dietary and sleep habits are also to blame. City parents,
on the other hand, are quick to turn defensive and blame juvenile
depression on the education system which places examination marks above
holistic learning.
“The multiple pressures of coping with city life are enormous.
My daughter is only 13 but due to the high expectations of her house
mistresses, she feels compelled to shine at academics as well as sports.
A year back, she was marginally plump but due to unbearable peer
pressure to look good, she went on a starvation diet that has left her
with weak bones and coarse hair. How is it humanly possible for a child
to excel at everything?” asks the distraught mother, Shanti Malhotra.
While the blame game between parents and school authorities continues
unabated, psychologists feel that filling a child’s life with a series
of classes could have adverse effects on mental health. “Very often,
working parents feel a child is safer and more accountable if after
school/ college, he rushes from one set of classes to the other. I see
children around hopping from drawing classes to karate classes, from
karate to swimming and from swimming to tuitions.
From tuitions it is back to homework with barely time for a quick
dinner before crashing into bed. Most parents don’t realise that zero
hour is very essential for sound mental health,” says Swati Naik. She
describes zero hour as a time slot when the mind is allowed to roam
free, day dream or just chill, an essential exercise for the human brain
to declutter and sift through the day’s sensory load. She also
emphasises the need for robust outdoor games with friends as an
effective means of destressing.
“I was shocked to find my son playing football with the building kids
a day before his IIT entrance exams till he explained that it was the
best way of clearing a jumbled mind. Right enough, he cracked his exams
with excellent marks,” recalls M. Nidhi, parent of a first year IITian.
That sunlight is essential to the formation of
You never know what that silent face could be holding |
endorphin is a well known fact.
“Ever wondered why one feels so good after a brisk outdoor walk or a
hearty laugh? These activities release endorphins in the blood. Spending
a major part of the day in a sedentary position, in the cramped neon-lit
classrooms of school and coaching classes could leave a child low in
this feel-good compound, cautions Swati.
Media sensationalisation?
A large section of Mumbaikars feel that the media is to blame for
placing undue emphasis on student suicides. “Teen-aged angst and
juvenile depression are age old problems, as a survey of statistics will
clearly reveal. By sensationalising the problem and making it breaking
news, the media could be contributing to the current epidemic,” says
Mitali Bhattacharya, a professor of Computer Science at the Institute of
Catering Technology.
Ruma Nath, an English teacher at St. John’s Universal School, seconds
this opinion. “Certain pesky students are capitalising on the present
suicide scare. The moment you pull them up for misdeeds, they turn back
and remind you what the outcome of our scolding could be!” says an
exasperated and amused Ruma. The need for family support has never been
greater. Aviation expert Navjot Singh recalls her harrowing experience
many years back when her young son started plucking out tufts of hair
from his head, leaving behind bald patches. A visit to the trichologist
revealed that there was nothing wrong with his scalp but a problem of
deep-seated mental insecurity as servants were changing every week. Both
parents, high profile figures in the field of commercial aviation, got a
further shock when they learned from puzzled teachers that their child
was learning his alphabets in reverse formation.
A bit of investigation revealed that a semi-literate maid-servant was
sitting across the child to teach, forcing him to pick up the alphabets
all wrong. It was only after Navjot’s elderly parents moved into the
neighbourhood and took charge that the child’s progress went remarkably
up the performance graph. Today, the teenager is the head-boy of one of
the most prestigious educational institutions in Mumbai’s suburbs with a
promising academic future ahead of him.
Nervous times With the examination months looming close, city parents
are a wary lot. “Earlier, we would goad our children into pushing the
envelope but now mental stability comes above academic achievement on
our list of priorities,” says Mayukh Wasan, parent of a Class X student
from the ICSE board. “Happy children are more important than successful
children,” seems to be the new mantra in town.
Reading between the lines, one gets the definite message that there
is something badly amiss in the city, the tempo and quality of urban
life requiring urgent analysis by social scientists.
The warning signs are there for all to see, caution the
psychologists, one only needs the right kind of vision to recognise
them. Mandatory counselling at the school and college levels, special
training imparted to teachers and parents could turn the tide of
thinking trends in the city’s youth.
Helplines that one could get through to quickly, revival of
neighbourly contact and fellow feeling, family support and hordes of
city volunteers willing to spread cheer and sunshine are the need of the
hour.
The Hindu |