Manifesto
of an un-common candidate
Preamble
I am un-common, not in the sense that I am a rare creature, but I
stand in opposition to the notion of a ‘common candidate’ or a candidate
that professes a love for a collective and pledges to alleviate some or
all of their miseries. I am ‘un-common’ then in that I am not common or,
more precisely, not about ‘common’. I am, in other words, about me.
About myself.
I am in this not for nation, not for that amorphous entity that is
frequently prostituted on the political stage called ‘the people’. I am
in this for the benefits that would accrue to me if elected President of
Sri Lanka.
I am convinced that I am the ultimate ‘real deal’ because I promise
nothing to those who have the right to vote. I am not interested in
doing them any favours. I am in this race because I want power. Plain
and simple.
I want power, but I don’t want money. I don’t want a salary because I
earn a decent enough income by writing to newspapers. I don’t have a
steady job but I am not unemployed. I don’t need bodyguards because I
don’t believe I would be a threat to anyone.
I am not in this to correct institutional flaws and deliver better
governance arrangements. Frankly, I wouldn’t know how to go about it. I
am not in this to develop the country. I think that if the country is
left alone, it will figure out a decent and better way of improving the
lot of the people.
That, however, is something that people should worry about. Not my
job, not my purpose.
I am not interested in bringing down the cost of living. I just
adjust my consumption patterns to tide over hard times but I am not
recommending this to anyone. I am not interested in resolving the
unemployment problem. I am a beneficiary of free education, free health
and all kinds of subsidies. I’ve been mollycoddled enough by the people
and although I don’t have a permanent job, no EPF or ETF, I think I am a
big boy and don’t have a moral right to demand a job. Therefore, I don’t
see why I should worry about providing job opportunities.
Am I concerned about things like sovereignty, territorial integrity
and democracy? Well, yes, but I worry enough about such things already.
I don’t want to include these things in my manifesto.
Purpose
Let me reiterate: I am in this for myself. There are things I want to
do which I believe I could do if I were President. Here goes:
In my life, I’ve loved, I’ve clowned around, done certain things, not
done other things, have encountered the ata lo dahama in various forms
at various times, seen certain things, heard things, tasted and touched.
There’s a universe that is totally foreign to me but I don’t lose any
sleep over this fact.
I have things to say. There are things I want to tell other people. I
do this by writing to newspapers and talking to people I encounter, some
known some unknown, some in specific contexts and some thanks to
randomness. Not enough for me.
I am tired and need to retire, but before I do, I want to tell as
many people as I can all that I need to say. Yes, it is about me. I
can’t count on random people randomly reading what I write in newspapers
now and then. I want to do it all in one go.
Promise No 1
My purpose then, is to become President so I can address the nation
on national television (all channels if possible) on 12 occasions in the
course of 6 weeks. I can’t think of any other way to reach the kinds of
numbers I would capture in such a short period of time. I believe this
would only be possible if I became the President of this country.
The following are the questions that I will reflect on when I address
the nation once I become President:
1. Didn’t you know that the revolution begins with poetry and that it
ends with the abandonment of love?
2. Does the season of illusion end with a thunderclap or is it gnawed
away slowly by the rodents of doubt?
3. Do skyscrapers exchange knowing glances or raise eyebrows about
rats and embezzlement that live and die in their stomachs?
4. When the mountain asked the river, ‘what did you do to my
children?’ did the river reply, ‘I took them to their grandparents?’
5. Did the night notice how the mirror looked at you while you were
asleep, and how the shoes took a walk wearing your skin?
6. When we wear the clothes that are demanded of us, do we stuff our
unhappy skins in a trash can or turn them into drums beaten to
unfamiliar rhythms?
7. If the insults and humiliations of all time were woven into a
cloth would not the tapestry wrap the earth many times over?
8. If the world’s nostalgia were amalgamated and given tangible form,
would we obtain paradise or an aberration we will never embrace?
9. If all the short change in short-changed transactions were
gathered would we still have enough to satiate the world’s greed for all
time?
10. Is eternity a lamp with a purple flame or is it trapped in a
matchstick that will not ignite?
11. If the grape is made of wine; am I made of you?
12. Do I find myself somewhere among the pages I’ve spilled ink on or
when my words demand the freedom to return to their sources?
Promise No 2:
I will resign the moment I finish my 12-hour tele-drama, if I may
call it that. I would, by this time, have arranged for my closest rival
to be made Prime Minister. He will most likely replace me at the point
of my resignation. I will then retire to grow vegetables and write
poetry that will never get published.
Asset declaration: I have Rs 1,700 in the SANASA Development Bank as
of November 17, 2009 (and a cheque for Rs 12,000 that I am yet to
deposit). I own Rs 100,000 worth of shares in the same bank. I own a 52
perch block of land with a three-bedroom house in Polgasowita (purchased
through a bank loan that will hopefully be repaid by the year 2022),
three beds, four cupboards, a dining table and few other household items
jointly with Ms. Samadanie Kiriwandeniya, some books, a laptop, some
clothes, a toothbrush and a razor.
Symbol, colour, campaign slogan etc:
I will contest as an independent and will try to secure the symbol
‘mirror’. My colour will be ‘colourless’. My campaign slogan, Mama
venuwen mama (I for myself).
My name, by the way, is Malinda Seneviratne. [email protected].
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