|
Short story:
The angelic smile
Somasiri ATTANAYAKE
Whatever experience we undergo in life, either pleasant or traumatic,
is like an invisible and mysterious garb we put on our souls that cannot
be cast off when we went, but influences us wittingly or unwittingly as
long as we live.
So, before I narrate this story, I am compelled to trace back to my
difficult and unhappy childhood. I have not been brought up in the lap
of a loving family with protective parents and loving siblings. I lost
my father when I was a tot and uncertainty and insecurity reigned my
younger days. As an innocent child, I was humiliated, condemned,
emotionally shaken and thrown into the dustbin of society.
Consequently, I am a victim of circumstances, and still remain a
loner and a very bad mixer who had a handful of friends. By nature, I am
not a very happy and cheerful person.
At that time, I was in the prime of my youth, below 25, full of hope
and optimism inspite of myself. Before I reached my 20s, however, I was
doing a decent job in the Government Service. My first appointment was
to a Government office at Badulla and my calling kept me there for three
years.
At the end of three years, I applied for a transfer to Colombo
because I found the life in the sleepy provincial city of Badulla was
tedious, boring and monotonous. In response to my request, I got a
transfer to Colombo and at the time, I was enjoying the first month of
stay at my native village after the change of workplace.
On bright morning, I stepped out of my place to walk the distance of
one mile to the railway station to catch my usual train to Colombo. It
was really a magnificent
 morning
under the canopy of an immeasurable clear blue sky. The whole vicinity
laved and gilded in golden sunshine giving an exquisite appearance to
each and everything and the ground adorned all over with filigreelike
intricate patterns created by the radiant sun beams filtered through the
rents in the vegetation buoyed me into a romantic frame of mind.
A pretty, young teacher with a group of talkative and mischievous
schoolgirls was walking along the road towards school. They went past
me; what I noticed in her was her youth and serene beauty. The next day
also I met her on the road on her way to school.
Lo and behold! She smiled with me on the very third day. I felt the
world turned upside down. Hers was really an angelic smile! That day
onwards, whenever she met me, she lifted me to an euphoric state of mind
by lavishly greeting me with her enchanting smile.
In her smile, I rediscovered happiness. I found the meaning and
purpose of life through her smile. In short, I felt I was at the top of
the world.
My unhappy past no longer haunted or nagged me. It was the happiest
period of my life. I used to walk with a spring in my step. With my few
friends, I talked about her; they simply listened to me and in no time
they forgot all about the affair. One fellow said that I did not have
the courage to speak to her and proceed.
However, I decided to speak to her when she would meet me next time.
Taking courage in both hands, with a fast beating heart, I spoke to her
at last.
"Good morning"
"Good morning"
She responded to my greeting in an inaudible voice.
"Where do you come from?"
That was my next question which she failed to hear. I repeated the
question. Still, she failed to hear me. The question was repeated over
and over; unfortunately, she could not follow what I uttered. After
repeating the same words several times, I got frustrated and went away;
determined to speak to her the following day.
The moment she saw me the next morning, she looked away as if I were
an utter stranger! Suddenly, I fell from seventh heaven to the terra
firma. How bitter was the reality? I had been in a fool's paradise!
However, I concluded that she had an obstacle that she was unable to
surmount and she immediately went deaf psychologically in order to avoid
the crisis.
Nevertheless, I wanted to find out more about her, her whereabouts
and family. A middle-aged person who knew her parents volunteered to
meet them and discuss the matter on behalf of me.
The volunteer did not bring good news either. According to him, her
parents had already arranged a marriage for her and she would be getting
married very soon.
I fell in love with her head over heels the moment she smiled with
me. Her charming smile invited me to a world where I expected love,
consolation and affection which I had been deprived of in my childhood
when such warmth was needed the most.
I stretched my hands towards her with unquenchable thirst for human
warmth and to embrace the world, to reconcile life once and for all.
Any sort of relationship did not grow between us and what took place
cannot be described as a love affair. I got infatuated with a pretty
girl without knowing that she had engaged to another person.
What I should have done when I came to know about was to forget all
about her which I really did. My mind completely ignored the incident
and commanded me to behave like a rational human being.
I obeyed the command willy-nilly and after two or three years got
married.
During a long period of 40 years, I have had not met her more than
two or three times; once I saw her at a funeral; at that time she was
pregnant. Both recognised each other but refrained from talking.
Within this lengthy space of time, on numerous occasions, my heart
tempted the mind to recollect the young teacher's angelic smile, her
sculptured face against the backdrop of her raven curly hair and the
flawless elegance she possessed in a neatly and stylishly dressed saree.
What happened between she and me was extremely insignificant and it
is not worth recollecting again and again. How absurd it is to write a
story about the episode to be read by a lot of readers! Unfortunately, I
can't resist the temptation. Now I am 70 years with grown up children;
they too have become parents. By this time, she must be around 65 years,
an old woman with mature children like in my case.
Not very long ago, at Gampaha town, unexpectedly, I saw her come out
of a shop carrying some parcels in her hands. Immediately, I made her
out but she did not recognise me.
She walked briskly along the street a little ahead of me,
disappearing and appearing again among the pedestrians who moved in the
opposite directions. I observed that she had not grown old to her age;
she actually looked younger than her age.
Her hair had not turned grey expect a few slightly grey streaks in
her curly black hair. All at once, I was seized with a great excitement
that more or less paralysed me. I quickened my pace to catch up with her
since I felt an irresistible desire to have a few words with her.
My heart started beating violently as it exactly did long ago when,
I, as a very young man tried to speak to her on her way to school. |
