My Father, My Guiding Light

Though it has been eight years since you left us, I must confess that I am at a loss of words when it comes to pen my appreciation of you. Thaththa even after eight years of absence of physical presence. I miss you more deeply than words can say. It is with deep sense of gratitude and grief that I pen these few words of what he meant to me since he was my best friend, my guru and my precious father.

Thaththa, the light you have left is still flowing and cannot be put off by any blowing. You are the guiding light to direct us to the mission in sight.

I am certain that the sentiments I felt are that which are felt by any child or adult who has ever lost a parent. As such this is my humble attempt in capturing the essence of a man whose presence I could never limit to words on a page. Over the past, I have not felt his absence because I realised that everyday I continue life as his daughter being true to all that he taught me in life, he continues to live.

We your children have great memories of your relationship with Amma. Your family life was based on mutual understanding, companionship, absolute transparency, caring for each other and mutual trust. You appreciated Amma for her contributions to bringing up the family, cooperated with her in her initiatives, and placed your confidence in her as your wife and the mother of your children.

You appreciated us for what we were and trusted us to the extent that unknowingly you built a moral binding in us to be always uncompromisingly truthful to ourselves and thereby never to break the trust of others. You taught us many lessons in life and we picked up these lessons and it is written in our hearts. Your love, appreciation, trust among many things molded us to be the children we are.

Thaththa, you said learning was the foundation which no one can take away. We are what we are because of you and Amma. You always told me to do my duty with dedication, commitment and integrity. This was but just one lesson that we repeatedly say. We grew up with your values and we are glad we did as it has proved beyond doubt what life can give. We note with gratitude to you, the positive comments of others of our ability to go through life with zest, responsibility and honesty.

Thaththa, I wish you were alive to share my success in whatever I do. I know you would have been so proud to see what a content person I am today all because of your guidance and advice, I miss your voice but most of all I miss you just being there, I will always hold on to the last conversation we had and how you never failed to let me know how much you loved me.

Your spirit and what you have given us will always remain and make us better people for having had you as a great father.

The bond Thaththa and I had was unique. We enjoyed being together and I took an interest in whatever he did. You were my hero and I am deeply indebted to you for all the good things in life that you gave us. You gave us confidence to see through things.

You taught us right from wrong. We thank you for many things that you have done for us. Thaththa, I need you to guide me, to protect and to love me the way you always have. Thanks a million. Thaththa for being "my father". Although, your demise has created a big void in our lives, you left us with sweet memories that we will cherish right through until we meet. No one can fill the emptiness I feel in my heart without your physical presence but I knew your spirit is with me and pray that you will always be with me.

With all these thoughts, I could truly say I am blessed to have had you as my father the best and the sweetest, the world has ever had. Thaththa, my world will never be the same without you but as you had told me we all need to move on with our lives. With much love and gratitude, we honour your memory.

As practising Buddhist we are well aware of the inpermanancy of life but to this day I cannot believe that my father is not alive as his voice, firm advice and imposing figure still haunts me.

He did his duty to the utmost and made us comfortable in everyway. Though not in extremes, he lived, accordingly to Lord Buddha's preaching with the least of wants and attachments. It is my sincere hope that his sansaric journey he shortened and he attains the cherished goal of Supreme Bliss of Nirvana.

Loving and affectionate daughter Damitha de Zoysa