Choosing the right way to help ‘child mothers’

Last week a very disturbing news item was published in the front page of the Daily News and there was a very quick response from the relevant parties. The main objective was do justice for pregnant children without delay. Here we discuss how it can be done in the best possible way.

The news item was on how 30 school girls only from Badulla district got pregnant after a well organised gang consisting of three-wheel drivers, lottery sellers, private bus drivers and private bus conductors deceived them and used them.

Full probe

The children were belonging to poor farming families. Just after publishing of the story Child Development and Women’s Empowerment Minister Sumedha G. Jayasena ordered the National Child Protection Authority (NCPA) to intervene and conduct a full investigation in order to assist the girls and their parents. According to the latest information the affected number is going up.

There is no need to describe the gravity of the problem because a person who has an iota of sense can understand the difficult situation of a school girl who was cheated and used by a pervert and the situation of her innocent poor parents who spend their hard earned money to educate.

Both children and parents lost their honour, money and ended up having an uninvited new family member to their poor families adding an additional burden to the ‘child mother’, her parents and the infant to be born.

The most important issue here is this. Over 30 school girls are going to give birth to infants. The mothers are ‘child mothers’ who are still schooling. Their parents are investing on their education and not their children’s children.

Giving birth to a child before reaching the appropriate age has very negative impact on both ‘child mother’ and her baby. Delivering the baby does not do any good to the ‘child mother’ and her baby or any of the parties involved such as the pervert who used the school girl, her family and his family.

But our existing law, religions or our cultures do not assist in anyway to solve this problem or the similar problems. The existing environment makes it more difficult for the abused girl and her parents.

This is not the first time we heard about a `child mother’. May be this is the first time we hear about 30 `child mothers’ at once. But there is no difference because whenever a school girl gets pregnant due to rape or cheat it does not do any good to anyone. It is a tragedy for the whole country because it reduces one more citizen who is going to make her full contribution to the country’s development.

The problem exist in the way we solve such problems. The way we do it is very problematic. It is problematic because most of the time the step we take to solve the problem becomes another bigger problem for the abused girl, her infant and her parents while the same becomes a lottery winning for the rapist or the abuser. The abused girl, her infant and her parents are being forced to face a life long tragedy.

No solution?

Most of the time what we do here in Sri Lanka is encourage the abused girl’s parents to trace down the culprit and give the abused girl away in marriage to the rapist or the abuser who used her.

Is this can be named as a solution? This is only further abusing the abused girl and making her sick by forcing her to spend the rest of her life with the same person who raped or used her after cheating her.

It is equal to choosing hell as the permanent residence. Can she fall in love with him? Since she is still a child she may get attracted to him temporarily until she grows up. Can the culprit love his child unconditionally? He will never be able to do so as he might have to spend time in prison for fathering the child.

We live in an era where some parents (mothers) kill their own infants or put them in drains or dustbins because they were born without their wish or out of wedlock.

Some other parents abandon their infants and children in roads and public places. Some sell them to homes to use as domestic aid.

Prevention

No point of giving an infant a father and a mother who get together because of a mistake made by them or the forcefulness of other people. It is because those are the infants who end up in dustbins, drains and may be in roads one day.

The best solution will be preventing the birth which will reduce another life that is going to suffer every second till death.

This solution will give a new and happy childhood to the `child mother’ and enable her to become an excellent mother when the time comes.

It will help her parents to gift a valuable citizen to the country equipped with education while letting the culprit learn his lesson in prison.

There are many better solutions such as giving the infant for adaptation than giving away the raped girl to her rapist.

What we need is a small amendment to our law.