Lifestyle

Parental match-making blossoms in a Beijing park

CUPID CORNER: The resume of the Chinese soldier is immaculate - backed by sturdy cardboard it shows in neat, printed script his age, qualifications and even his height.

Next to it, propped up against one of the ancient trees in Beijing's Zhongshan Park, are two photographs, one showing the 28-year-old bachelor proudly donning his military uniform.

A few yards away, his smartly dressed father watches as dozens of other parents amble past and take a look at the soldier's photos and data.

After matching the details against their own checklist, most shake their head and walk past, although some approach him for more information.

Each Sunday, this scene is repeated in various versions hundreds of times throughout beautiful Zhongshan Park, just 150 metres (yards) from the historic Forbidden City. Unique form

It is a unique form of match-making in modern China, where desperate fathers and mothers struggle to find compatible spouses for their overworked and overqualified children, a kind of parental speed-dating.

Despite their desire for a potential match, these proud parents are rigorous in their search for someone they think will be good enough for their children.

Matchmaking rules in China generally mean that a wife must be younger, less educated, have a lower salary and be shorter in stature than her husband. Parents match Chinese birth years, zodiac signs, even accents.

Throw in the attractiveness of having the right "hukou" - an identification document that allows Chinese permanent residency in certain cities - and parents find themselves entwined in a raft of criteria for their children.

Weary father

The vast majority of advertisements in the Beijing park are for women nearing or just passing 30 years old, many of whom have good qualifications and well-paid jobs - definite hurdles in finding potential husbands.

One weary father has been coming to the park for seven months searching for a match for his 35-year-old daughter.

Doctorate

"My daughter has a very good education, she has a doctorate but now she has graduated it is hard to find the

 right boy at the right age," he explains.

Then he reverts to his quiet salesman pitch: "My daughter is a very good teacher, she has been abroad."

The grumbles of mothers of daughters rang throughout a recent Sunday summer afternoon.

"My daughter is very timid. There is no time and no chance to meet young people," said one mother. Another chipped in: "Girls should not be judged on beauty, they should have careers."

The Beijing scene is repeated in cities and parks across China, according to E.T. Hu, executive producer on a film called "The Park" which follows the testy relationship of a father and daughter through the parental matchmaking phenomenon set southwestern Yunnan province.

Tradition

"The parents care about their children very, very much in China and it is a tradition that they will help them find a spouse, this is just a modern version of it," she said.

"Parents are also a little shy, but they feel they need to do this. They are worried about their children getting older and not finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend."

The shyness and discomfort are obvious. As soon as any Westerner approaches, many cover up their CVs and hide their photos. And while some were open about the minutiae of their children's lives, none would give their names.

Their shyness is also provoked by the horror that would greet them if their children knew they were being peddled in a park.

"My daughter is very busy and she doesn't know I am here. If I told my daughter about it she would be very angry," said one mother, before explaining her simple plan if she does find a potential husband.

"I will just say, 'I have found this man'. I will not tell her where I found him."

AFP

Those in wonderland see no wonders

POPULAR WONDERS: So, the new seven wonders of the world have been unveiled although many an eyebrow has been raised over some of the choices. More so since the selection was done through a popular vote and no less a body than the UNESCO claiming that some of the basic criteria had not been met.

Be that as it may Sri Lanka was one of the countries which displayed a singular lack of enthusiasm on the whole affair and did not join the rest of the world in canvassing for its own 'wonders' which according to some were there in plenty.

Perhaps, Sri Lankans are exposed to so many wonders in their midst it had come to the stage where there was nothing more to wonder about.

In short they were wonder struck with unfolding events in their own backyard that they had resigned to the fact that they don't have to look far for wonders and not a mere seven at that.

To begin with what more wonder could anything anywhere rival than when a priceless wall hanging assuming legs and walking away from a Presidential abode during the time of a former incumbent. Or in which part of the world would opposition legislators change their political parties and still claim membership of their original party.

Or for that matter is it any small wonder that the most virulent critic of an opposition leader not many moons suddenly becoming the "Mango" friend of the same individual he castigated.

Sri Lankans certainly did not have to bother about wonders of the world when they had ready-made wonders unfolding before their own eyes.

Or, how could there be a natural explanation for the big hue and cry made over a squash ball hidden inside a batting glove by all and sundry when the skipper himself exonerated its wearer from any wrongdoing. What could one do other than wonder as to how a convicted rapist was freed from jail and conferred a JP ship for his trouble.

What possible wonder in the world can equal the one where lawmakers consent to sacrifice 10 per cent of their emoluments after increasing same three fold a few months ago?

Sri Lankans also may have not joined in the vote due to their ingrained fear of wondering aloud knowing how many paid with their lives for doing so in the not too distant past.

Above all the well known penchant of Sri Lankans to pull the rug from under the feet of their own compatriots may have also had its genesis in the lukewarm response to canvass for its own wonders. If not how come such a deserving edifice such as the Sigiriya Rock fortress not promoted to be among the Wonders of the World.

Rambler