The non-attached person is a sage He who is without craving and grasping, who is skilled in etymology and terms who knows the grouping of letters and their sequence - it is he who is called the bearer of the final body, one of profound wisdom, a great man. Tanha Vagga - The Dhamma

Taming Tom who wanted to kill his boss

This episode is from the forthcoming book ‘More Saffron Days in L.A., Tales of a Buddhist Monk in America’ by Ven. Dr. Walpola Piyananda Thera. He is the founder President and abbot of Dharma Vijaya Buddhist Vihara in Los Angeles, California.

Ven. Walpola Piyananda

Dealing with anger: Bee, a frequent visitor to our temple from the Thai community, called me one day asking for an appointment to bring a friend of his for counselling. I asked him what the problem was, and he told me that his friend Tom had asked him to teach him how to use a gun.

Bee said that he was surprised at the request, and that Tom admitted that he had a serious problem with his supervisor at work. Very concerned, Bee said to me, “I will bring Tom to see you; please help him; teach him how to deal with his anger.”

The following day, Bee and Tom visited me in the evening. I took them to the Shrine Hall and chanted a blessing for them. I could tell how uneasy and upset Tom was by the nervousness of his voice, and the angry look in his eye. I asked him whether he wanted to speak to me privately.

“No, Bee is my friend, and he knows about my problem. We can discuss it here,” Tom said quietly.

“Tom, please tell me why you are so upset. I can see it in every move you make.”

“Bhante, for the last two years my supervisor has been harassing me for no good reason. Whatever I do, he criticises me. When I greet him in the morning, he ignores me. I try my best to please him, but I feel he is always at my throat. I complained to the company’s human resources department, and since then his attitude towards me is even worse.

He has blocked all chances of my getting promoted, and he makes my life at work a living hell. When I go home, I can’t sleep. Even in my dreams I feel as if he were torturing me, and sometimes I shout in the middle of the night. My wife wakes me up and tells me I’m grinding my teeth and yelling at someone.

I started thinking that the only solution would be to buy a gun, but then I realised that I didn’t know how to use one. That’s when I asked Bee for help, but Bee told me I had to talk to you first. Bee said you may have another solution. If you do, Bhante, please help me, I’m at the end of my rope.”

I listened patiently to Tom’s story, and felt sorry for him because I could feel the sad and angry state of his mind. During my years in America I have worked very closely with the Thai community on many occasions, and I was very familiar with their customs and ways of thinking. “Tom,” I said calmly, “do you know why the Thai Buddhist flag has a wheel on it?”

“No, Bhante,” he replied. He was listening politely to me with his hands placed together in a sign of respect.

“It is the wheel of Dhamma, representing two important factors. One is the Buddha’s first sermon about the Middle Path, which he delivered in Saranath to the Five Ascetics; the second is the Eight Worldly Conditions, which express the duality of our earthly existence. It’s this second factor that I’d like to explain to you now.” I could tell the look on Tom’s face that he was getting impatient with my explanation.

I continued, “Like a pendulum that perpetually swings back and forth, there are four pairs of desirable and undesirable conditions that prevail in this world. Everyone, without exception, must face these pairs in this world.

Everyone, without exception, must face these pairs of opposites in the course of their lives. What are the four? They are gain (labha) and loss (alaba); fame (yasa) and infamy (ayasa); praise (prasansa) and blame (ninda); and happiness (sukha) and unhappiness (dukkha).

“At some point in time, we all have to face unavoidable worldly challenges in each of our lives. But you must remember that although we experience each of these eight conditions, none of them are permanent, and they are continually changing into their opposites, one after the other.

It is only by using critical thinking that we can deal with the problems that cause us to suffer - always remembering that they are only temporary, and will soon change.” I noticed that Tom was looking at me intently, his heart just beginning to understand.

“Tom, the Buddha taught us, ‘We have to be like the five elements - earth, water, fire wind and space. The earth does not get upset by the various things thrown upon it. Nor does water get upset by the various things that it is used to wash. Nor fire, which burns things both clean and dirty without complaint. Nor air, which blows on clean and dirty things equally.

Nor space, which is not established anywhere. We need to develop our mind so that like these elements, thins that arise that are either agreeable or disagreeable to not invade our mind and remain. Therefore, we must conduct ourselves like these five elements so that we, too, can remain calm and peaceful, not bothered by whatever happens.’

“This teaching tells us that we must learn that while both agreeable and disagreeable things occur we are to remain unaffected and undisturbed; if our minds are at peace, we can deal with whatever arises, knowing that the condition will soon change.”

Tom replied with frustration, “Bhante, you don’t understand. I want him to disappear from my life, and I’m hoping you can do something about it.” I could tell that Tom was serious in his desire to be free from this situation with his supervisor.

“Tom, did you ever think about the consequence if, in anger, you should harm your boss? What would happen then?” I could see that this direct question made him start to wake up.

“You would definitely end up in jail for life, Tom, so what would happen to your wife and children? Don’t you care what happens to them?”

“Of course I do,” he replied softly.

“How do you think they would manage without you to support them? Does your wife speak English, and is she working?” Tom looked down and shook his head from side to side.

“Do you want your family to be put on the street? Your house and everything you have worked for will be gone because your wife will be forced to pay your legal fees.”

Tom remained deep in thought for a few minutes. I recalled a story related to me by one of the Buddhist leaders in Sri Lanka that I thought might help him.

“Tom during the second World War, there was a Sri Lankan man living in Calcutta, India. His name was Devapriya Walisinghe. He devoted himself to sharing the Buddha’s Teachings with others. During this time Sri Lanka and India were under the British rule, and a struggle arose in Sri Lanka between the Sinhalese and the Muslims.

“Although Devapriya had nothing to do with the struggle, the conflict looked suspicious to the British Police Inspector General of Sri Lanka. He sent a cable to his British colleague in Calcutta with the instruction to arrest Devapriya, and send him back to Sri Lanka where he could be controlled.

The inspector in Calcutta telephoned Devapriya and told him that he would immediately be placed under house arrest. He also said that he wanted to meet with him on the following morning at police headquarters.

“Devapriya said that he would not resist, and would show up with his police escort the next day. Devapriya completely understood his dire circumstances; a strong feeling came upon him that the only way to be saved was to extend loving-kindness to the man who had just had him arrested, the police inspector.

Devapriya placed a photograph of the inspector general on his desk. He then focused his total attention on it, extending his feelings of loving-kindness towards the man. He sat up nearly the entire night looking at the photograph and practising his loving-kindness meditation.

“Early the next morning Devapriya received a call from the inspector general’s office informing him that he didn’t need to come down to headquarters; that the inspector general would visit him at his home.

“When the police inspector arrived at Devapriya’s house he approached him and looked directly into his eyes. He said, ‘I will not send you to Sri Lanka, sir, but instead I will look after you here as I would my own father.’

Clearly, the loving-kindness that Devapriya had sent to the police inspector had had a miraculous effect on the man - enough to cause him to change the course of his actions.

“Tom, do you think you could try using this practice on your boss instead of inflicting physical harm on him? It might be better than doing something rash and putting your family’s survival at risk.”

Tom hesitated before answering, “Bhante, I don’t think I could even look at my boss’s photograph - much less send him good thoughts. What do you expect me to do?”

Next week:
How Tom was pacified

We use only ten percent of our mental capacity

Dr Ruwan M Jayatunge M.D.

human mind: “In the first case we had to surmount the sensation of the unreal immobility in space and to admit a motion we could not perceive of by sense. In present case it is as essential to surmount a consciousness of an unreal freedom and to recognize a dependence not perceived by our senses” - Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace.

Sigmund Freud’s contribution to understanding the human mind was colossal. As the Psychologist Ernest Johns states Freud was the Darwin of the human mind. He explained the inner aspects of the human psyche. In 1923, Freud introduced new terms to describe the division between the conscious and unconscious: ‘id,’ ‘ego,’ and ‘super-ego.’

According to Freud the structure of psyche consist of id, ego and superego.

The “id” (fully unconscious) contains the drives and those things repressed by consciousness; the “ego” (mostly conscious) deals with external reality; and the “super ego” (partly conscious) is the conscience or the internal moral judge.

Freud’s theory says that the super-ego is a symbolic internalization of the father figure and cultural regulations. The super-ego tends to stand in opposition to the desires of the id because of their conflicting objectives, and is aggressive towards the ego. The super-ego acts as the conscience.

Freud described the savage part of the human mind. He thought the core of the human personality was not positive. Unlike Freud, Carl Rogers believed all human beings possess the capacity to become fully functioning persons.

Freud saw man as a closed system driven by primary instincts and an isolated being whose primary interest is the optimal satisfaction of both ego and his libidinous interest. Even Alfred Adler disagreed with Freud when Freud described the destructive human nature as a savage and sick entity.

Adler once stated “ since Freud described the pathological part of the human mind its our duty to describe the non pathological side”.

Freud could not understand the spiritual portion and the esteem part of the human psyche. He was skeptical about religions. Also he was unable to grasp the essence of Christianity may be due to the influence of Nietssche. He knew very little about the Buddhist philosophy and this little knowledge he gathered by reading Shoponhover’s writings.

Freud never realised the existential aspects of the human nature. Victor Frankl - one of the pioneers in Existential Psychotherapy affirmed that Freud never knew how human psyche works in extreme conditions.

Victor Frankl interviewed a large number of prisoners in the NAZI concentration camps and realized that there should be another dimension - the Existential approach to the human existence.

Although Freudian theory has had wide impact, influencing fields as diverse as anthropology, education, art, and literature Professor Eysenck once stated that Psychoanalysis is unscientific. His close associates like Carl Jung and Alfred Adler protested against Freud’s emphasis on infantile sexuality and the Oedipus complex.

Perhaps Freud missed a vital portion in the human mind which is powerful to uplift him to a superior level. Human has a supreme mind. Some speculate human mind has two concerns. One is material and another is spiritual and one cannot exist without the other.

The mind learns and realises easily about the material world, which is sensible through the five sensory organs. Human mind is the energy supreme. It was through the power of mind human civilization achieved its greatest victories. No one knows the boundaries of mind power.

Most of the mind power is unused and hidden. The man has an extraordinary powerful surge of spiritual energy. With the development of higher consciousness that people could gain a greater connection to, and Knowing of inner self and to become spiritually powerful. Freud never speculated on this feature.

The mind is thought to be the seat of perception, self consciousness, thinking, believing, remembering, hoping, desiring, willing, judging, analyzing, evaluating, reasoning etc.

Dualists consider the mind to be an immaterial substance, capable of existence as a conscious perceiving entity independent of any physical body. Metaphysical materialists consider the mind to be either the brain itself or an emergent reality i.e. an entity separate from but brought in to being by the working of the brain. Freud predominantly believed in materialistic nature of the human mind.

The human brain has a natural healing system. Especially in psychological trauma this system activates. This natural healing system was elegantly described by Dr Francine Shapiro in her EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprosessing) theory. As Dr. Shapiro explains all humans are understood to have a physiologically-based information processing system.

This can be compared to other body systems, such as digestion in which the body extracts nutrients for health and survival.

Therefore the human mind has much more capabilities and power more than our understanding. Prof William James once said people usually develop 10% of their mental capacity and 90% is unused. Can there be a supreme portion in the human mind which is higher than superego? Some people have gifted or extraordinarily developed mind power.

They possess higher intellect and advanced moral scope. Freud never thought that human could walk up to this far. May be the structure of human psyche consist of id, ego, super ego and ultra super ego. In many people this ultra super ego component is underdeveloped or hidden.

How do we explain the spiritual dimension of the human? People sometimes develop natural immunity by mental power; some men perform higher CNS changes via meditation that were monitored in laboratories. How do we explain these phenomena?

The human mind has no limitations. The contemporary science had not discovered even 5% of the human brain and its cognitive abilities. Every day Neuro psychologists discover new schemas and superior brain functions. They are of the view that human mind is an extraordinary system which is million times advanced than the newest computers.

Freudian theory states that human beings are dominated by unconscious forces and driven by sexual and aggressive desires. But this is not always true. How about the extreme human sacrifices for freedom and for the benefit of other human beings?

People like Christ and the Buddha had something special than mundane people. May be they had decayed id component and a highly developed ultra super ego.

So we have come to a turning point where we need to question the apparatus of the human psyche. Id — Ego — Super Ego — Ultra Super Ego.