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The Moving finger by Lionel Wijesiri

In another three days' time, thousands of Sri Lankans will venture down a well-travelled path paved with bold and sometimes hastily conceived New Year's resolutions. It is a route covered with promises to exercise more, lose weight, stop smoking, cut down on alcohol, eat a healthier diet and make new friends.

As each New Year begins my mind goes back to Janus, the Roman god. He was often depicted with two faces because he could look forward and backward at the same time.

His role in Roman society was as a household deity who presided over gates, openings, and doorways, and has lived on in their culture as a symbol of new beginnings. The month of January is named in his honour.

Janus is an important image this week because many of us are about to embark or perhaps have just started our training for the upcoming New Year. What Janus reminds us is that while we're looking ahead and making a new start, we also have to look back and consider what has come before.

While resolutions are well-intentioned, unfortunately most people fail at keeping them. With all the hype surrounding these promises, it's easy to get caught up in them without really taking them seriously. We live in a throw-away society and even our resolutions, I'm afraid, are not immune.

Let us look outward instead of inward when making our declarations. We will then be able to finish the year feeling good about ourselves.

Let me give you a few resolutions that might last a year, or, dare I say it, a lifetime. Resolutions that make you feel good about yourself might include thinking of others instead of thinking in terms of what will better your own world.

* Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Share a funny story with someone whose sprits are dragging. A good laugh can be a very good medicine.

* Vow not to make a promise you don't think you can keep. Pay a debt. Give a soft answer. Free yourself of envy and malice. Encourage some youth to do his or her best. Share your experience, and offer support. Young people need role models.

* Make a genuine effort to stay in closer touch with family and good friends. Resolve to stop magnifying small problems and shooting from the hip. Words that you have to eat can be hard to digest.

* Find the time to be kind and thoughtful. All of us have the same allotment: 24 hours a day. Give a compliment. It might give someone a badly needed lift.

* Forgive an injustice. Listen more. Be kind.

* Apologize when you realize you are wrong. An apology never diminishes a person. It elevates him. Don't blow your own horn. If you've done something praiseworthy, someone will notice eventually.

* Try to understand a point of view that is different from your own. Few things are 100 per cent one way or another. Examine the demands you make on others.

* Lighten up. When you feel like blowing your top, ask yourself, "Will it matter in a week from today?". Laugh the loudest when the joke is on you.

* The sure way to have a friend is to be one. We are all connected by our humanity, and we need each other. Avoid malcontents and pessimists. They drag you down and contribute nothing.

* Don't discourage a beginner from trying something risky. Nothing ventured means nothing gained. Be optimistic. The can-do spirit is the fuel that makes things go.

* Read something uplifting. Deep-six the trash. You won't eat garbage - why put it in your head? Don't abandon your old-fashioned principles. They never go out of style. When courage is needed, ask yourself, "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

* Walk tall, and smile more. You'll look 10 years younger.

* Improve someone else's world by adopting a needy family and remembering their birthdays as well as the holidays for one year. Be a lifetime secret admirer. They need never know your name. Knowing the sacrifice you make is done selflessly should make you feel real good about yourself.

* What about volunteering your time at a social service organisation? Put your name on the volunteer list and be at their beck and call. When you get a call the night before saying they need your help, and you were thinking of going out with friends the next day, it may force you to rethink your plans, and do some soul-searching.

* Retirement homes and homes for the physically impaired never turn away help. They'll welcome you into their volunteer community with open arms.

Adopt an elderly person who has no other family and friends, or who's family lives too far away to visit. Bring little gifts. Bring in a young child or a kitten or puppy and watch the smile on their faces.

* Be a Big Brother or Big Sister. Become involved in your community. Join a committee, coach a team, volunteer at the local schools. Plant and weed an elderly neighbour's vegetable garden. The chances are endless.

* Perform random acts of kindness and feel yourself grow from the inside out! Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of these simple things. I am sure you've always wanted to do them but couldn't find the time. Be determined to find the time in 2005.

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