Archives

Battling AIDS in India

It was a very strategic move on the part of the Indian prime minister to have Shotgun Sinha coming in as his minister for health. Shotgun as you all know is the only Indian actor who was able to change his role from being a successful villain on screen to becoming an accomplished hero. The prime minister obviously knows that he will be able to do the same with any situation he faces in his ministry.

"What AIDS?" asked Shotgun as he came out of Parliament.

"Sir, Bill Gates has donated a hundred million dollars to eradicate AIDS in India," said the chief reporter of a national daily, trying to keep pace with the actors giant strides.

"Done!" said the minister for health.

"Sir?" asked the reporter.

"I said it is done," said the minister. "With such a huge budget we will be able to make a block buster, a multi starrer with mega sets..!" "Will it be able to eradicate AIDS sir?" "There will be a struggle," said the actor, " a very formidable struggle, in which the hero struggles with this formidable villain.. what's his name?" "AIDS sir." "Ah yes AIDS, then after a few dozen fight scenes and gun battles, we can also have a car chase with such a huge budget, the hero will ultimately win against the villain, what's his name?" "AIDS sir," "Ah yes AIDS." "Will you ask Bill Gates for a larger donation sir?" asked the chief reporter.

"All producers are initially told that their amounts are too small, " said the Shotgun slyly.

"What will your plan be sir?" "Depends entirely on the script writer," said the health minister. "But with such a good budget we will be able to employ the best in the world, maybe H.G Wells..!" "He's dead sir."

"Okay Arthur C Clarke..!" "He writes science fiction sir." "Excellent, " said the health minister, "our hero could contract AIDS on the moon, when he slips into a crater, as he gets out of his space buggy..!" "AIDS comes from sexual contact sir." "So throw in a love scene on the moon. Call it lunar love..! We could get Aishwarya Rai, I've always wanted to act with Ash..!" The actor pulled out his mobile phone and dialled the prime minister.

"Hello, hello, this is Shotgun, your health minister. Tell Gates I will do the lead role. He will not get another hero like me. Tell him to send the signing amount immediately, this minister salary is too little.

"Okay, okay I will give Vinodh Khanna ,your tourism minister, a small role. He is also complaining about his salary?" The prime minister smiled as he switched off his phone and turned back to Bill Gates. "That was my health minister," he said.

"Is the amount enough?" asked Gates.

"Its a big project," sighed the Indian prime minister. "But we have experts on the job..!"

[email protected].

News | Business | Features | Editorial | Security
Politics | World | Letters | Sports | Obituaries |

Produced by Lake House
Copyright 2001 The Associated Newspapers of Ceylon Ltd.
Comments and suggestions to :Web Manager