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Total transparency..!

"I believe the government is going to introduce total transparency in every department?" I asked a senior government official as we stood looking at a stage that was being installed.

"Yes," said the official, "we are fed up of being called a corrupt nation.

"So, every dealing by every department, every minister, every government official will be done on this stage." "Its not a very large stage," I commented.

"What do you want, a circus with a big top?" asked the official angrily.

"Aren't you satisfied that we are making an effort to be transparent, now you want to criticise our good intentions?" "No, no, "I said hastily. "I am glad the government took this step. Will there be a cameras to record every transaction that takes place?" "One camera. Its being installed behind us"

"Why don't you have one closer ?" I asked. "This one seems too far away."

"What, and let every one know what is happening on stage? You think we are fools?"

"I am sure you are not," I said hastily.

"Have a look at the stage," said the senior official as he led me to the raised platform.

"Its got a curtain." I said uncertainly.

"Of course it has one," said the official. "We will have to censor certain scenes for the public. Remember this transparency business is too new for our people, we cannot give it to them in too large a dose. They are not used to it, which is why we need the curtain."

"You said every deal by the government will now be transparent?" I asked.

"Every official deal," said the official. "We don't want to bore the public with petty details."

"May I go up on stage?" I asked.

"Its not been officially opened," said the senior official slyly, "but if you don't mind tipping that fellow in the white shirt, we can go up."

"Who's he?" I asked as I climbed onto the stage after giving a hundred to the man in white.

"A bureaucrat appointed specifically to see that every transaction that takes place on stage is clean and honest", said the senior official as he stretched out his hand to the man in white and took a fifty out of the hundred .

"Why are all the backdrops black?", I asked.

"To shield our ministers and officials from the glare," said the official.

"They are not used to such transparency and this will help them hide in the shadows."

I walked to the back of the stage and out through a small door. "Goodness gracious!" I exclaimed. "There are hundreds of rooms behind. They can't all be green rooms and make up rooms? What are they for?" "Rehearsal rooms," said the official. "The rehearsals for the transparency show will be done in these secret rooms and then the final will be done on stage."

"Why are there so many lockers in these rooms? I asked.

"Those are not ordinary lockers," said the official proudly. "They are safe deposit strong rooms with counters that will be manned by trained cashiers having direct phone connections to Switzerland."

"How thoughtful," I said.

"Total transparency..!" beamed the senior official. "Absolute total transparency..!"

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