Reflections on reputation and other such burdens
Errol Alphonso, my friend and benefactor, is an indefatigable miner
of the Internet, meticulous separator of grain from chaff therein and a
generous disseminator of information he believes is useful to receiver.
He has subscribed to a quote-yielding website. He picks and chooses what
to send and therefore whatever he stuffs into my inbox is of great value
to me.
A few days ago he forwarded the following quote by Margaret Mitchell:
“Until you’ve lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it
was.”
Reputation loss
Reputation is not unimportant. How people see you does matter. If
perhaps you acquire or are conferred with a reputation of being
deceitful you might well find roadblocks that stop you at every turn.
This is why people spend enormous amounts of time, energy and even money
to look good in the eyes of others. This is advertising which is a
thriving industry.
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If your reputation gets sullied in some way your marketability
suffers. Some are so insecure that they equate reputation loss to the
end of the world. And even those who lose their reputation are so
fixated with it that they get busy trying to regain it, so busy that
they don’t pause long enough to realize it is a burden they can do
without.
I think it is about getting priorities mixed up. I remember an
incident that took place in Ratnapura about three years ago. As the
Secretary of the Tournament Committee of the Chess Federation of Sri
Lanka, I went to make sure everything was alright at the Ratnapura
District qualifying event of the National Youth Chess Championship.
There was a mother of a player who wanted us to allow her son to play
in the tournament. As I was considering her request, she said pin siddha
wei (you will gain much merit, ie in the Karmic sense) by way of further
appeal. Pin epa (I don’t need such merit) I replied. In the end, after
discussing the matter with other officials, the child was granted
permission to play.
The lady thanked me, pin siddha wei and immediately corrected
herself, aah pin epaa kiwwane (you said you didn’t need it). She wanted
to clarify: Bauddha nemeida (aren’t you a Buddhist?). I said I was
indeed a Buddhist. She seemed confused. I said pin karanne pau kaarayo
(only sinners act in order to obtain merit). It was tongue-in-cheek of
course.
I have a very limited understanding on things pertaining to the
Dhamma, but I believe that what is important or let’s say ‘useful’ is to
abide by the principles articulated by our Budun Wahanse. If that
produces a good reputation, fine. If not, we might lose out in the short
time, but then again if we, even subject to our monumental ignorance, do
what we believe is what is recommended as ‘good’ subsequent to the
employment of reason, I think the chances are that are sansaric journey
is not lengthened.
Careless reader
We live in a collective and therefore our actions and though are
shaped by the general notions of good and evil. It is not easy to see
beyond such frames, I readily acknowledge.
On the other hand, consciously or unconsciously, we all indulge
constantly in a weighing of two propositions: try to nurture the image
that others prefer us to inhabit or be who we want to be without
arrogantly, aggressively and without sensitivity plucking out the eyes
of those who see differently.
My Vice Principal at Royal College, the late Christie Gunasekara once
said ‘do what you think is right whether or not the world appreciates’.
Tough.
Highly recommended though. When one tries to be who one really is the
world condemns more often than not. On the other hand, I’ve found that
sooner or later the world appreciates or at least indulges. There are
material costs involved of course but in the larger order of things,
these matter very little.
My friends tell me now and then that people use my name in blog-comment.
Some are smart for they qualify comment with references that would
indicate to the careless reader that they are indeed Malinda Seneviratne,
the columnist you are reading right now. I’ve seen such comments and
counter-comments by people who say they are disappointed in me.
Natural laws
I don’t have the energy nor inclination to correct such things. My
‘reputation’ (whatever that may mean) is just a passing thing, subject
to the natural laws of birth, decay and death.
In the larger span of history, my moment in this lifetime is like a
fraction of a second and moreover one that is shared with a countless
number of others. It began with dust and ends with it. No big deal. It
hurts, annoys and sometimes makes me angry.
As always I turn to my greatest teacher, Siddhartha Gauthama. He has
all the answers. I meditate on impermanence and compassion.
Life is such a light thing and lightness of being is so blissful that
reputation building seems such a worthless thing. I stray often, yes,
but never too far that I forget the way back to the true path that leads
to a more decent and beneficial kind of existence. Or so I like to
think.
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