Doing it the Sumithrayo way

Since 1974 when the founding centre in Colombo was established, Sri Lanka Sumithrayo has been in the forefront of suicide prevention: befriending and empowering the lonely, depressed, despairing and suicidal with emotional support.

This is a free and confidential service. The Colombo centre with over 100 volunteers has over 8,000 callers per year who seek befriending via face to face, telephone, by letter and email. They are open from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. every day of the year.

Sumithrayo seeks to alleviate human misery, loneliness, despair and depression by listening to and befriending those who feel that they have no one else to turn to who would understand and accept them.

The service is delivered by a group of volunteers. Volunteers are selected and trained to befriend people who are emotionally distressed. Training gives them the skill of befriending.

Volunteers are not counsellors but befrienders. Befriending is the art of positive listening to troubled feelings and helping distressed persons to explore healthy options which can ultimately lead to empowerment and a positive approach to life's issues.

With the passage of time, Sumithrayo expanded services to meet emerging needs. Sumithrayo also promote emotional wellness and suicide prevention through community outreach, education and prevention services.

The Sumithrayo Drug Demand Reduction Programme aims to provide assistance to those who are experiencing difficulties arising from harmful substance use (including alcohol). While helping 'users' to overcome these harmful habits, they also help family members who may be also experiencing difficulties in coping with the situation.

Established in 1984 by the Colombo Centre, services are rendered by a competent and scientifically trained staff which makes no distinctions as to age, creed, wealth or other particulars of the client.

Programmes are conducted under the guidance of three specialist doctors and people from all walks of life drop in for confidential support.

Suicide prevention has and will always be the primary objective of the organisation. Since 1996, when the special Presidential Task Force set up the National Policy on suicide prevention, it is recognised that mental illness, alcohol and drug use, poor coping skills, are all contributory factors that lead people towards suicide in Sri Lanka.

Services are therefore targetted towards helping people who fall into these categories. The fact that suicide is invariably the outcome of a combination of factors - environmental, psychological, sociological and biological is now accepted without debate.

Awareness and education programmes are set up to change attitudes and values of the community regarding the practice of suicide and also minimise the risk factors in the community at large.

The service is no longer confined to the four walls of a centre, but is community oriented where volunteers are specially trained to work towards changing harmful social practices in the community as a whole.

People of all ages seek befriending from Sumithrayo for concerns that include marital, family, domestic violence, sexual abuse and harassment, relationship issues, mental health, grief, loneliness and low self-esteem.

Having being set up by the Samaritans and now a branch of Befrienders Worldwide, Sumithrayo practices their unique way of non judgmental befriending. The key of which is active listening.

The caller unburdens and thereby ventilates while the volunteer listens and accepts the caller unconditionally. The caller is encouraged to explore and identify the feelings that have caused despair and distress. When a rapport is thus established and the caller is more rational (with a better balance of head and heart), options are explored and discussed.

The caller is finally empowered to consider one or more of these options and seek relief from their present feelings. The goal of befriending is to empower the caller to make life-enhancing choices.

A caller does not lose the freedom to make his own decisions, including the decision to take his own life, and is free to break contact at any time.

Sumithrayo is where they will find empathy instead of sympathy, empowerment instead of advice, and a non judgmental friend who will listen with the assurance of complete confidentiality. People who have been through such a crisis will confirm that it was huge relief to unburden their feelings and discovering options other than taking their lives.

Attempting Suicide is never the result of a single factor or event and is likely to have several inter related and complex causes. The single factor or event (like a scolding) is the trigger that causes unbearable pain coupled with the inability to cope any further and feelings of very low self-esteem.

Thus, an attempt to end it all. Some of the problems that increase the risk of suicide are: Rejection in a relationship, Unbearable Grief, Heavy use/dependency on alcohol or other drugs, A disabling or terminal illness, History of earlier attempts or self harming, Depression, Mental Illness, Poor Coping skills.

The biology of the brain, genetics, psychological traits, and social forces can all contribute to such feelings.

Another less publicized reason is that, dealing with human sexuality (associated with the facts of life) in an unsupportive family, community or hostile school environment can also bring about such feelings. As would the feelings of worthlessness and guilt soon after (or long after) a person has been sexually abused.

Prospective volunteers do not need any special qualifications or experience to become a Sumithraya - just a willingness to listen in a caring, compassionate, nonjudgmental way.