Amalshan Gunerathne - Pictures by Nissanka Wijerathna

“The entire concept of ‘love’ has become twisted. The most are in love with the future-self of their partner. They are in love with a person or a situation which hasn’t quite happened yet. And in the process, they fail to cherish the present. And it is not real love. Pure romantic thoughts of a person are often ridiculed, and a purely romantic individual in the modern society is considered as a ‘social deviant”

Is everlasting ‘love’ a thing of the past- a notion that is buried deep within the antiquated lockers of Elizabethan times? What of the ‘Romeos and Juliets’ who would die for each other in the name of love? Such ‘lovers’ exists no more; the society would have you believe. ‘Romeo and Juliet’ have become immature and juvenile figures in literature. In a world where everything is driven by man’s lust for power and wealth, the concept of ‘pure love’ has become twisted and corrupted.

As expressed by an Arts Faculty student, Shilamega Velithudagey, “The entire concept of ‘love’ has become twisted. ‘Love’ is nothing more than a business transaction these days. The most are in love with the future-self of their partner. They are in love with a person or a situation which has not quite happened yet. And in the process, they fail to cherish the present. It is not real love. Pure romantic thoughts of a person are often ridiculed, and a purely romantic individual in the modern society is considered as a social ‘deviant’.”

‘A Modern Romeo’ - Perhaps not

With this regard, the recent tragedy of Sri Lankan Medical College student, who poisoned his girlfriend and committed suicide, comes to mind. There we have it; the lover poisons his beloved and commits suicide, the ultimate modern day tragedy, you would think. On the face of it, the incident makes him appear as if he is the ultimate modern day ‘Romeo.’But as the verdict would say, he is not quite so. As recorded and revealed in newspapers and gossip columns, the lover, ‘Chaturanga Amila Kumara’ was suffering from a psychological disability, and it was his disability which lead to the eventual crime.

But the question remains as to whether we should leave the incident as it is, saying it was just another crime committed by a wild psychopath or should we dig deeper and examine the social influences that drive individuals to take such extreme actions.

It is always easier to condemn the criminal- in this case the undergraduate who poisoned his girlfriend. He is a ‘psychopath’, the media and his own parents have already given their judgment. However, in most criminal cases, what many fail to realise is that sometimes the murderer is as a victim as the very person that he kills. That he is a victim of the socio-political issues that drives him into madness and transforms him into a murderer.

While this is not meant to justify Amila Chaturanga’s actions, but just to highlight the fact that when crime happens, we often focus on ridiculing the criminal, instead of concentrating on issues that transform a person into a criminal.

The truth remains that if we feel strongly about certain things, most of us at some point or other in our lives, must have felt the need to kill or kill ourselves. For most ridiculous reasons, you may at least exercised thoughts of suicide. But does that make us mad? The fact is that you do not necessary have to be diagnosed as a mentally disabled to exercise desperate ‘thoughts’ such as suicide or even murder. Which provides the implication that perhaps the only difference between ‘Amila Chaturanga’ and the rest being, he put his thoughts into practice where as we did not.

The University relationships

In a society where the entire concept of ‘love’ has become twisted, it is no wonder that such incidents happen. Also the fact that the crime was committed by a university student, and since such extreme incidents are known to happen around university and college atmosphere begs the question as to, ‘how come such educated section of the youth, degrade themselves to that level?’ One could counter argue that intellect does not pay a role when it comes to matters at heart and that it is easier to let your emotions overpower reason. But that itself should not be an excuse.

When questioned, an Arts Faculty student had this to say with this regard. “The murder and rape incidents happen everywhere, but people consider those as just routine incidents, but when something happens within university premises, the media and everyone get all hyped up and create a scene. It is unfair to consider university students as some special segment of people. The university education doesn’t create complete, ideal individuals. People have this notion that university students are super-intelligent creatures. But they are normal human beings like any other.”

University life- tasteless without love?

As for the university relationship issues- a preconceived notion still exist that university life is tasteless, mundane and boring without romance, which begs the obvious question, whether you come to university to ‘experience love’ or to educate yourself for a better future? As expressed and experienced by most youth, being absorbed in wild romance turns everything else into secondary. Contradictorily however, Viraj, a law faculty student noted, “It is not practical say ‘no’ to romance and demand students to focus only on studies. Romantic relationships are an integral part of the university subculture. If the relationship works out, it could do wonders for the individual. A healthy relationship could motivate and encourage an individual to excel in his studies. It is when you are mixed up in a bad relationship that things could sour.”

The Modern Love- A Fake and twisted concept

However, not many are fortunate enough to experience such genuine relationships. Most hold the skeptical view that relationships are not genuine, and university relationships are no different. It could also be argued that it is the university subculture that creates most issues.

The university provides freedom for both sexes to mingle with each other, the kind of freedom which they can’t experience in society. Also as expressed by another student, “Most relationships that happen within university premises are temporary. Often they start affairs just for the fun of it. Or else guys often keep a girl just so that they can get notes from the girl.

Very rarely that you can experience a genuine affair. And there are also cases where students lose track of their studies, once they are smitten by love which in itself is a great tragedy.”