Those despicable waiter-baiters

Gaston de Rosayro

Waiter etiquette is an often overlooked area of manners and etiquette. We have all seen them, the waiter-baiters. They are the people who make it a point to complain about everything when eating in a restaurant. The food is never quite right and has to be taken back to the kitchen. They consistently complain about the service even though it is acceptable to everyone else.

These people are obviously very immature and have a compulsive need to draw attention to themselves. They feel safe in insulting the waitress, who is in no position to speak for herself.

How often have you observed many people in restaurants who think that a waiter or a waitress is a lower level of person because they are serving other people. An important aspect to consider is that although the persons looking after you are called your servers, it would be foolish to consider them as your slaves. It would also be wise and considerate to treat them with the respect they deserve.

That means you have a responsibility to be civil and courteous, even if you are dissatisfied with the service and have a right to make a complaint. If you act towards your server in an appropriate manner, chances are that he or she will be even more disposed to ensuring you have a pretty enjoyable dining adventure.

Good serving etiquette

Wait staff have insanely difficult jobs, which they do for long hours, low pay, and the condescension of people who look forward to any opportunity to lord anything over anyone. I have always despised waiter-baiters, the same way I despise anyone who behaves rudely for the purpose of justifying a shallow, meaningless life.

Remember this: Employees at the restaurant remember their patrons. They remember who treated them right, and what goes around certainly does come around. When you treat people the way you want to be treated (yes, the Golden Rule still applies) they will treat you the same way. I have found that most people are a mirror of how they perceive they are treated. When you set the tone, that same tone will be reciprocated.

Restaurant staff have the ability to make your dining experience either a memorably happy or downright rotten one. An accomplished server is capable of raising an already good experience to a great one. In the same way, a lousy server - the type who seems indifferent or remote - can turn an enjoyable meal into one that is remembered for all the wrong reasons, even if the food was scrumptious.

Actually it varies from restaurant to restaurant. Sometimes your waitperson will not leave you alone all evening and you feel like you're being scrutinised. On other occasions, all you want is some attention and a glass of water but staff do not realise you exist. Of course, these experiences are balanced out by the perfect waiting staff who keep an eye on you all throughout to ensure you are adequately looked after, and do not intrude on your special evening out.

Luckily some restaurant staff truly know how to hit just the right balance. Meaning they are servers who are politely friendly without being over-bearing or over-familiar. They can instinctively read what kind of table their diners are looking for and offer the appropriate level of service.

They might be serving business people who prefer to be undisturbed, a courting couple keen on nothing except a romantic interlude and want to be left alone, for obviously different reasons, or a family out celebrating. Certainly all of them need to be served, but all in very different ways.

Good serving etiquette ensures the restaurant's guests leave happy and satisfied. A good server needs to follow common sense and be aware of his guests' needs. A great server will try to be aware of his guests needs before they even arrive. Servers should always remain quietly in the background, yet be available when needed. Following server etiquette should help to maintain a good relationship with both the employer and the guest.

Annoying things

On the other hand there is nothing worse than having a dining experience ruined by an insufferable waiter. Even though certain behaviour patterns are obviously inappropriate, some waiters still do the most annoying things imaginable.

Many of them hover around the guests when they are eating. All they have to do is check in once shortly after the food is served to make sure there are no problems with the order or that they do not need any extra condiments or drinks. All the same they have to keep their eye on everyone without bothering them in case a diner tries to attract their attention.

I really get hot under the collar when a waiter pressures me into making a decision about ordering when my guests and I are not ready.

When I say that I need a few minutes I mean a few minutes. So I get mad when they come back in one minute with pen and order pad in hand.

I certainly like to take my time when ordering and get the devil into me when the waiter rolls his eyes or expresses his annoyance over how long I take to make my decision.

So how do you handle wait staff without flipping your lid when they are not paying you much attention? Or, as is more often the case, what do you do when the restaurant is busy and the waiters are run off their feet? How do you get their focus? Often a simple glance from the corner of your eye is enough to indicate to your waiter or waitress that you need their assistance.

A good staff member will always be on the lookout for your glances. When your glance is spotted by the staff, ensure you offer a response to confirm your request, such as a small smile or a nod. And never snap your fingers to get a waiter's attention. It is rude and pompous and degrading to the person whose attention you are trying to attract.

After covering these potential methods, we must cover the number One essential ground rule. Never be rude to your waiter or waitress.

This is not because you run the risk of a bodily fluid being added to your soup - it is simple courtesy.

Being challenging, pompous or condescending to your waiter is disrespectful and unnecessary.

It is ugly, and makes your servers feel even more like slaves than they already do. In addition, your dining companions will think less of you. If you are polite and pleasant to serve, the waiter or waitress will take better care of you. Rude people usually receive back the same feelings they are putting out.

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