Survivor fearlessly refuses to look away during grief
Reviewed by Greg Klassen
WIDESPREAD catastrophes often overwhelm terrible private tragedies.
London-based economist Sonali Deraniyagala's life changed in an
instant on December 26, 2004, when her family was holidaying along the
southeast coast of Sri Lanka. The massive Asian massive tsunami hit the
shore of her native country and swept away her husband and two sons as
they were attempting to flee the onslaught. She never saw them, or her
parents, again.
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Sonali
Deraniyagala |
This affecting memoir charts the next seven years of Deraniyagala's
painful journey of coming to terms with a life without the people she
loves.
Wave recalls 2005's The Year of Magical Thinking, American writer
Joan Didion's memoir of her year after her husband dies.
In both cases, there's a tangible sense that if a person hopes for
something enough and performs the right actions that the death of
someone close to you can be reversed.
Certain questions ring over and over in Deraniyagala's head. Why
didn't she stop at her parents' door to warn them? Why did she take her
family back to Sri Lanka in the first place? At times, her anguish is so
enormous that she can't even revisit places that she spent with her
young sons.
Many of this book's details feel almost too intimate to read, such as
the bittersweet moment she finds her husband's eyelash on his pillow in
their London home.
"So this is my now, loitering on the outskirts of the life that we
had," she writes.
Southeastern coast
When she revisits Yala, on the southeastern coast of Sri Lanka, her
mood starts to metamorphose. Being back in this familiar landscape
reopens her wound, yet here her hope and healing truly begin. Through
the painstakingly act of recreating and recalling the details of her
family's life, she starts to breathe normally again.
"As I kept returning over the next few months, the jungle began to
revive," she writes. "Fresh green shoots sneaked out from under crushed
brick. New vines climbed around tilting pillars, and these ruins
suddenly looked ancient, like some holy site, a monastery for forest
monks, perhaps. Around our rooms a scattering of young ranawara bushes
dripped yellow blossom ... I resented this renewal. How dare you heal."
What saves this book from becoming too depressing to bear is
Deraniyagala's unflinching honesty and her beautiful, spare writing
style, which never becomes maudlin.
Her prose mirrors her physic state. She uses staccato sentences
during the trauma of the opening sequence and moves to a more lyrical
style by the book's conclusion.
Power of human spirit
The Indian Ocean tsunami officially killed more than 230,000 people
in 14 countries, a staggering number from a single natural disaster.
The wave, up to 30 metres high, was triggered by the third largest
earthquake ever measured.
While other stories from the tsunami have been told, both in
documentaries and in feature films, this is the first book told from the
perspective of a native Sri Lankan.
Its circumstances seem particularly bleak next to the recent
Hollywood film The Impossible, where an entire family of five improbably
survives. Deraniyagala's account of her loss is remarkable because it
illustrates the power of the human spirit to survive the unimaginable.
Her fearless refusal to look away, even during the darkest moments of
her grief, make it impossible to have anything other than admiration for
the bravery and dignity she exhibits during these, the darkest hours of
her life.
Greg Klassen is a Winnipeg writer and communications specialist.
Courtesy: Winnipeg Free Press
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