How can we take better care of our children?

Sunday’s most unpalatable news came as a shock to most parents, myself included. A seven year old girl had been raped and killed before being dumped unceremoniously in a canal. My heart went out to the little girl who would have suffered so much, so unexpected at her tender age. What we as a society want to do with the perpetrators is another matter and deserves a full discourse of discussion. But what can we do everyday, as mothers and fathers, to take better care of our children?

The little girl’s parents should have been more vigilant. On a crowded night, you don’t take your eyes off your children, neither your hand from theirs. Her parents should have kept watch over their daughter and ensured her safety. The kind of protection the child deserved was lacking for several reasons; poverty, illiteracy and ignorance usually make a deadly combination that sets the stage for disaster.

Then there was the story of the 13 year old girl who came from her village in the deep South in search of a job. She was raped repeatedly by the man who allegedly gave her a job, before being gang raped by his friends. They raped her on their way home from a dansala on Poson Poya day. Nothing, it seemed, was sacred for these monsters who did not deserve a human soul.

Traumatic psychological state

They had already bartered their soul to the devil in return for desire to taste blood. There’s no telling what the girl’s traumatic psychological state would have been. For now, she is a mere number in a case filed by Police. What will the future hold for her?

We as parents need to get it into our systems that the world is evil. There is barely one you can trust with your children. Some parents have the habit of trusting too much. Being vigilant pays - whether taking your child to a class or keeping track of his or her friends. Anyone can be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. There are lessons to learn from every disaster, every tragedy. Those lessons are for those who are willing to take them to heart and make sure they never repeat those mistakes. All it takes is one misstep for irreversible damage to happen. When it comes to your children, nothing is more precious and warrants more attention.

There is no point in blaming the society. Yes, we know the society is corrupt. We know incredibly ill, sexually perverted men stalk the streets in Sri Lanka in search of victims. There’s tremendous hunger in their eyes - they stalk and prowl on the innocent for want of a outlet for their perverted desires. They take pleasure in perverted acts in public transport - their sick minds undress every woman they see apart from their mothers.

Moral conscience

They have no moral conscience and will not hesitate to violate or kill any female unlucky enough to walk into their path. They do not deserve mercy in the eyes of the world - instead, if you ask most people, what they deserve is the death sentence.

This kind of a pervert may not be too far away. He could be anyone’s neighbour, anyone’s friend. He could be the friend who is waiting for the right occasion to pounce. He could be anyone.

As a society, we seem to be numbed by tragedy, the kind that unsettles hearts and gives us the creeps. We don’t seem to care enough to do something about it. We read about it, shrug our shoulders and move on. But have we taken the steps necessary to make sure our kids are safe - what lessons have we learnt from the tragedy?

Among the lessons we learn are the lessons to be more open to change - discussion and discourse. Even though traditionally Sri Lankans may have not opened up on internal ills such as unsettled sexual behaviour, maybe we need to have a bigger dialogue on why people are so sick in a nation that takes pride in its 2,500 year old history. We need to assure ourselves that it is all within the norms of the 21st century to talk about such issues instead of pretending we are holier than the wicked West. It is time we took better care of our kids and opened our hearts and minds to a more frank social discourse.