Quranic means to cope with today’s stressful life:

Pressing problem of peace within ourselves

There are times when people can’t forgive themselves for mistakes of the past. It could be due to hurtful things they have said or done. They spend all their time regretting the mistakes they have made. Some people can’t forgive the mistakes of others. “Show forgiveness, enjoying what is good, and turn away from the misguided” - Holy Quran Surat Al-Araf 7:199.

1. They have somehow been wronged either by their parents, spouse, relative, friend or complete strangers and they can’t go beyond this incident. They end up clinging on to grudges and they vow to never forgive the perpetrator. Living in the past prevents you from enjoying the blessings of the present. By dwelling on the past and not being able to overlook the mistakes of themselves or others, they will rob themselves of the serenity they deserve.

2. Anxious about the future: There are people who spend every waking moment worrying about the future. “When will I get married? Will I have kids? Will I pass my exam? Am I going to get a job? How will my kids turn out? How will I pay for their tuition? Am I going to get sick or get a disease? What will happen when I retire? The worries go on and on with no end in sight. This constant preoccupation with the future makes them miss out on all the wonderful events of the present.

Verily, we have created man in toil (a state of struggle and stress) - Surat Al-Balad 90:4.

3. Comparing: Another way that people destroy their peace is by comparing themselves to others. They look at the polished exterior of others and feel inadequate about themselves, their spouse and their children since they are aware of all their own flaws and shortcomings. Each person is a package deal so accept the whole package. You may be admiring a person’s good looks not knowing how their heart is diseased. The wealth and possessions of others may impress you when you are unaware of the tests they may be encountering. And He has raised you in ranks, some above others that He may test you in that which He has bestowed on you. Surat Al-An’am 6:165 - Look not with your eyes ambitiously at what we have bestowed on certain classes, nor grieve over them. Surat Al-Hijr 15:88 - Each time we compare, we are left feeling unhappy and anxious, depriving ourselves from being aware of all the wonderful things in our lives.

The only time it is recommended to compare is when it has a positive impact on our lives. We can compare ourselves to people more knowledgeable or more charitable in order to get us inspired to be a better person. Narrated by Abu Hurairah the Prophet (peace and salat upon him) said, “Do not wish to be like anyone except two men: A man whom Allah has taught the Quran and he recites it during the day and night and a man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it on charity. Another permissible comparison is looking at people who are much worse off than us in wealth and health. By doing this we instantly feel grateful and pacified.

4. Rejecting your destiny: The worst way of slaying your peace is by rejecting your destiny. This is when a person is absolutely angry, upset and frustrated from the events of their life. It may be that they have not got married or were divorced, they are unable to get a job, they have medical issues or they are unhappy with their spouse. Whatever the circumstance- they are mad. They feel it’s unfair. They question why others have it easy and their life is such a mess. It’s vital to realize that Allah is the Most Wise and if a person questions their life they are implying that they know better than Allah. When people reject their destiny, they sentence themselves to a life of misery. You may hate something when it is good for you, and you may love something when it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know - (Surat al-Baqara, 2:216).

Ways to attain peace

1. Relationship with God: When people have a strong, healthy relationship with their creator, they attain an infinite amount of peace. It is Allah who sent peace and tranquility into the hearts of the believers, that they may grow more in their faith - (Surat al-Fath 48:4). Their perspective is broadened. They don’t only look at the circumstances and difficulties of their lives and despair. Certainty in the promises of Allah fills their heart which makes them persevere with an unequivocal amount of patience when faced with the most unimaginable tests. When people know the names and attributes of Allah - I mean really know them and understand them not just list the names - then they will not fall prey to the slayers of peace because they will not dwell over the past, won’t be anxious about the future, won’t compare and they definitely would not reject their destiny. Without a well established relationship with Allah which involves obedience and commitment, no one can have true peace. Behold! Verily on the ‘Awiliyas’ (friends) of Allah there is no fear, nor shall they grieve; those who believe and constantly guard against evil.” (10:62-63)

2. Acceptance: Acceptance is one of the most critical aspects of attaining peace. There needs to be genuine acceptance of everything in your life and that includes your past, your present, your looks, your circumstances and your destiny. If you are unable to accept an event in your life and if you dwell on why things happened the way they did, then you will be filled with grief and anxiety. Don’t grieve at the things that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you - Surat Al-Hadid 27:23. As soon as there is acceptance, the peace immediately follows. The focus of therapy in many instances is to help the client accept themselves and their lives. It is amazing how a person transforms when they stop metaphorically having a tantrum by kicking and screaming and finally accepting their portion in life.

3. Internal Validation: Majority of people have a very low self-esteem and the only way they can feel good about themselves is to try to gain the approval and acceptance of others. This can be a very slippery slope depending on the people they are trying to impress. Many teenagers are so desperate to gain recognition and approval of their peers that they will do absolutely anything. This of course is the extreme example where individuals put their ethics and beliefs aside simply to gain acceptance. However, there is a more subtle, psychological issue which involves being unhappy unless a person receives compliments or validations. They simply can’t feel adequate unless they get another person’s approval. This will make a person extremely needy of others and they will never feel content or even peaceful unless another person gives them validation. That is why it is of paramount importance to give internal validation; feeling good about actions because they are pleasing to Allah. There is no need to be dependent on others to feel good or worthy. And they give food for the love of Him to the poor, orphan, and the captive saying, “We feed you seeking Allah’s Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you”, - Surat-Al-Insan 76:8,9).

4. Self-Talk: The dialogue people have with themselves has been estimated to be about 600 words a minute! What’s all the chatter about? Studies show that 85 percent of the self-talk is negative. Once the self-talk is seen as a way to programme the mind, it can be used to achieve peace. When a person says comforting things to themselves rather than beating themselves up they will be in a much better state to reach their goals. It is important to remember to be kind and understanding when mistakes occur and to always be aware of the internal dialogue. When the self-talk is positive then a person can overcome any obstacle - if it is negative they will propel in a downward spiral of depression. Whatever is said in this internal dialogue will determine the mood, the level of peace and the ability to achieve any goal so watch the self-talk.

5. Self-worth: A person’s self-worth is not based on some number - it’s not how much is in the bank account, IQ, size, GPA or salary. When people start equating their worth based on these things they can feel extremely discouraged. Self-worth is the ability for people to see themselves as competent, successful individuals that are able to deal effectively with the demands of their lives. One of the biggest stumbling blocks to success is a lack of self-worth. The best way to feel worthwhile is doing everything in your life to please the creator. Verily, my prayer, my sacrifice, my living and my death are for Allah, the Lord of mankind - Surat Al-An’am 6: 162.

In this way the action is done purely for Allah without longing for any recognition or approval from anyone else. It is essential to establish an exemplary character which truly makes any individual an invaluable asset to have in any setting. To foster a feeling of self-worth is to set small, achievable goals that will bring about a feeling of confidence. Contributing time, money and talent in helping others will also develop a strong sense of self-worth. Whosoever intercedes for a good cause will have the reward thereof - Surat An-Nisa 4:85.

6. Forgiveness: The key to having peace within ourselves and with others is to be forgiving. Grudges and animosity gradually diminish our state of tranquility just as a pristine piece of metal steadily rusts in harsh weather. If we view each event in our life as a test and we focus on passing the test then it is much easier to forgive.

When we forgive to only please Allah and to pass our tests peace descends upon our hearts. It is so incredibly liberating when we can let go of the hurt, throw out the emotional baggage and move on. It will free our heart, our mind and our soul if we forgive and forget. The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah - Surat Ash-Shura 42:40.

When you are faced with difficulties and disappointments make sure you avoid the peace slayers. As you stay away from the things that rob you of peace, work hard on attaining it back through the above mentioned suggestions.

Muslimmatters.org

Filipino actress Queenie Padilla quits showbiz, embraces Islam

Filipino singer/actress Queenie Padilla shares her rebirth after performing Haj in Makkah. By all accounts, “the future leading lady” was on her way to stardom before she had a spiritual rebirth

Queenie Padilla was starring in primetime TV shows and would sing and dance in production numbers on popular variety shows in the Philippines. She was the other half of a romantic pairing (‘love team’ in local showbiz parlance) meant to set hearts aflutter. At 20, she was living her dream - or so she thought.

“It was a deceiving dream,” Queenie told Arab News as she sat wearing an abaya and a veil on her head. Devoid of makeup, her face is just as angelic and even more beautiful than when she was all dolled up for guest appearances and shows.

After performing Haj for the first time, she declared to all and sundry that show business was now behind her. The YouTube video in which she tearfully shares her life-changing Haj experience was going somewhat viral; it was garnering likes and getting shared and re-shared among Muslims, and not just in the Kingdom. Inspiring was the consensus.

What triggered a 180-degree turn for the young lady who was dead-set on pursuing a showbiz career a mere four years ago? How did the decision come about? And, how did she break it to her fans?

Queenie said she had been so worried what the producers, directors, managers and especially, her fans would think.

Everyone had expectations of her and she was feeling the pressure. She had to ask herself: “Am I going to live my life disobeying Allah or am I going to make the final decision in living my life as a good Muslim and really practice Islam the right way? There was a struggle but I had to make a choice. So I made that choice. I quit.”

Queenie calls herself a revert to Islam because she embraced her faith wholeheartedly after visiting her mother in Australia, where she grew up nominally Muslim with her two sisters and their youngest brother.

Her father Robin, who comes from a big showbiz clan, famously married Queenie's mother in Muslim rites inside prison as he was serving a 21-year sentence for illegal possession of firearms in the early 90s. He was pardoned by the then president, and he left jail in 1998 no less famous than when he entered it. He remains one of the Philippines’ most bankable action movie and TV stars to date. The busy life of a celebrity didn't leave much time for Robin to educate his family about Islam as much as he would want, but Queenie credits him nonetheless, because if it weren't for him they would not be Muslim.

“When I went to the Philippines, my father told me to wear a hijab and pray. But I didn't know why I was praying. I was ignorant about Islam and about being Muslim. At that time I hadn't yet tasted the sweetness of faith. I think that's why I was misguided.”

Their mother started practicing Islam herself just two months before Queenie did, and she let her eldest daughter know her desire for her children to become good, practicing Muslims. Queenie says that when she first saw her mother after the latter rediscovered Islam, she was pleasantly ‘shocked.’

“I saw this glow in her that I've never seen growing up as a child. Everything that came out from her mouth was all about Islam and Allah. And she was reading the Quran constantly and listening to lectures and she wore the hijab. I asked her if she was afraid of wearing the hijab in this society. She said she wasn't because she has piety, and that's all that matters.”

Over dinner, they would have conversations about the Hereafter and whether or not they obeyed Allah with their deeds and actions. “It got me thinking,” she said. “I started evaluating and asking myself if I was really happy with my job, and I realized that there was something missing in my life.

There was emptiness inside. I wanted to feel what my mother was feeling because she was so happy and content - and peaceful. I told her, ‘Oh please, I want to learn more about Islam.”

And she did. As she learned more about Islam, she knew she had found what would fill the void she was feeling: renewed religious fervor. “It was an amazing feeling. I think it was a calling from Allah. The more I learned about Islam, the more it became my passion. And every day, when I gained more and more knowledge, the missing parts of myself began to grow. The emptiness is gradually going away too,” she added.

Queenie went to Saudi Arabia solely as a pilgrim and not an actress, although she met the Filipino community just the same. She visited the International Philippine School in Jeddah and other Saudi private schools where the students’ reception was uniformly warm.

Her most unforgettable experience in her brief two weeks visit to took place in a hospital where she visited a 30 year old Filipino woman with a rare form of cancer. Queenie prayed for the patient who dreamed of going to the Kaaba. Shortly after, the woman reverted to Islam and declared her formula of faith in Islam, making Queenie “the happiest person alive.

“The patient awakened me in a way; she reminded me that sickness or death could hit us anytime. Every day as Muslims, we should prepare,” Queenie said.

Queenie’s parents, now married to different people, are very happy over her decision to fully practice her religion.

Her next mission is to share more about Islam with her sister Kylie, who is an up-and-coming star in her own right back home. Queenie also plans to major in business, and at the same time, take up Islamic studies.

These days, Queenie speaks with a conviction not previously seen in some of her TV interviews, in which she appeared reserved and even a little nervous. She has transformed into a lady who conveys the message of Islam to people with courage and confidence, even if she admits her knowledge is still limited.

Courtesy Arab news, Jeddah

The Mind’s Eye:

Musings and reflections of Dr. M A M Shukri

This valuable collection of essays by Dr. M A M Shukri on various aspects of Islam were published in learned journals throughout a good part of his distinguished academic career.

Dr. Shukri majored in Islamic Philosophy for which he received his PhD from the University of Edinburgh and the writings gathered in this volume reflect his thinking on a range of issues from the deeply profound to the seemingly mundane.

What is particularly intriguing about Dr. Shukri’s writings is his firm grasp of the subjects he has dealt with, imparting to these observations not only a wider dimension but also an inner meaning meant to appeal to the deeper recesses of the human soul leaving one contemplating on the real purpose of this worldly life and indeed on the many dimensions of the human experience.

Consider for instance the insight he gives us in his contribution on an apparently simple topic such as Islamic Perspectives in Archeology:

An intellectual apprehension of the great civilizations brought to light by the archaeologist's spade and a meditative contemplation of the mute silence to which every one of them have been reduced by ‘Time’ is germane to the Islamic vision of things and we should say, is in harmony with all religious truths.

The archaeological portrayal of the rise and fall of all civilizations drive home the philosophic truth, that man and the universe in which he finds himself is destined to perish.

No power, no wealth, no heroism and deeds of valour, no noon-day genius can save him from the inexorable juggernaut of death.

“Kullu Nafsin Dhaykatul Maut” - Every soul shall taste death. Shelley's poem on Ozymandias delineates this Quranic truth movingly.ÓI am Ozymendias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair; Nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless bare, The lone and level sands stretch far away”.

Archeology enters the Islamic perspective, as it calls upon man to travel and see for himself the fate of those who preceded us: “Do they not travel through the earth and see what was the end of those before them? They were more numerous than those, and mightier in power and in the trace they left in the earth.” Al-Qur'an.

In effect, he sums up the Islamic view of history in a way that is both touching and moving. Man is often so lost in the ways of the world that he hardly stops to reflect on the perishable nature of his existence. How short life indeed is, if we ever stop to think of it. A lifespan of even a hundred years is really not much if we really think about it. A year is only 360 days after all.

And man in his folly craves for transient power, wealth and other worldly pleasures as if he is going to enjoy them eternally. He risks his life and health and those of others lusting after these ephemeral pleasures, only to find that it was really not worth after all. This is where religion can guide man and show him the path he needs to pursue for peace of mind and for the betterment of human society as a whole.

Dr. Shukri also gives us some valuable insights into the relationship between man and nature in his well presented essay on the Ethical System of Islam where he observes:

The Western concept of nature, which is outrightly materialistic, runs contrary to this Islamic approach to nature, which is value-oriented. Islam aims to live in harmony with nature whereas the West adopted an attitude of confrontation ever since the European Renaissance and more so since the Industrial Revolution.

The West had adopted an attitude of confrontation towards nature as an enemy to be exploited, conquered and destroyed. Thus, man's alienation from natural environment led to the raping and plundering of nature, which has led to the present ecological crisis.

Published by: Naleemiah Institute of Islamic Research. Printed by: Printel (Pvt) Ltd

Reviewed by Asiff Hussein