Kalyani de Zoysa - a remarkable and well-balanced life

The felicitation ceremony of Kalyani De Zoysa, the second Principal of Devi Balika Vidyalaya, Colombo 8 organized by the Retired Teachers’ Association of Devi Balika Vidyalaya will be held at the Sri Lanka Foundation Institute today.

Neela de Zoysa

It is not an exaggeration to say that Kalyani de Zoysa’s time at Devi Balika Maha Vidyalaya spanned much of her life. Born in 1925, she was 28 years of age when she joined that first staff of five members in 1953 as Kalyani Abeysiriwardhena. After graduating from the University of Ceylon, Colombo, in 1950, her first teaching post was at the Holy Family Convent, Kalutara. Within two years, she joined the founding staff of Devi Balika.

Her marriage in January 1958 to Dental Surgeon Jinasena de Zoysa, and the birth of her three children between 1958 and 1962, were all embedded in the time she served at the school. By the time she retired in 1985, at the age of 60, she had given the best part of her life of 32 years and guided the institution to great heights. She took all her responsibilities in her stride, with cheerfulness and a dutifulness which was the hallmark of her tenure. The satisfaction of a job well done was the only reward that she asked for.

Mrs. De Zoysa was born in 1925, May 19 at Gajeru Walauwa, in Welithara, Balapitiya, to a family of seven children. She has only vague memories of her mother Annie Charlotte de Abrew Wijesinghe, who died when she was 10 years old. Her father Allison de Zoysa Abeysiriwardhena was a stern but loving father who instilled a sense of honesty and principle and left an indelible impression, also died when she was 17. Mrs. De Zoysa often talks about her two oldest siblings, Felix and Helen, who made great sacrifices to take care of the younger brothers and sisters and created an atmosphere of love and generosity despite adversity. Perhaps being the middle child, the fourth among seven children may have given her the ability to be sympathetic and see others perspectives.

Buddhist values

Her schooling began late in an era when a girl was discouraged from academic learning. During the early years, schooling was interrupted often due to her mother's illness, and the war years between 1942-1944. From the nearby school she went to Siddhartha College in Balapitiya where she often struggled to catch up after long absences from school. Under a strict colonial government, those were the days she said, they were fined for speaking or writing in Sinhalese.

After the family's move to Colombo in 1944, she enrolled at Ananda College, a school for boys, which admitted a few girls. She remembers her time here with trepidation, and her daily commute to school by rickshaw. However, her determination to study further kept her striving. After surprising her family with her desire to sit for the HSC, she surprised them even further when her name appeared in the newspapers as the custom in those days, announcing her success at the entrance exams to university. This led to a small crisis where traditional and conservative family members deemed that university was not a place for well brought up young women, and that she should not be allowed to attend. She is forever grateful to her oldest brother Felix, who knowing she wanted to attend university wholeheartedly supported her education. From then on, her studies and career moved ahead, and the rest is history.

As her daughter and student, it is a privilege to share my thoughts about my mother who was the same person in her private life as well as her public life. This sort of constancy requires great strength. Her Buddhist values were her guiding force, which she practised at all times. Her devotion to my father, his work and dreams was reciprocated by his interest in her work and career. Her generosity to us her children, grandchildren, her brothers and sisters, nieces, her students, colleagues and friends knew no bounds. She gave each person and each situation her best.

Social pressures

Her contributions to Devi Balika are numerous, as many have enumerated and elaborated in their testimonials. The range of contributions speak for themselves; being well versed in Pali, she worked with Wimala de Silva in selecting from the Dhammapada the school motto ‘Manasa Samyutta Dheera’. They decided on the school badge consisting of a lotus and a bud and the school uniform. She led the school for 18 years in her warm and self-effacing manner, building a trusted team of deputies, but uncompromising in her expectation of high standards of both moral and academic, respect for elders, honesty and uprightness, love of country and service to one's community.

Her philosophical and wise leadership was an inspiration and example to many. Not being one for pretensions, she did not feel the need for scholarly labels or use jargon to make an impression. Nor was she impressed by these accolades in others. Instead, was shrewd observer of people and their conduct and made her own judgement as to them being deserving of respect.

She found these labels and their pursuit, often a distraction and impediment for the work she was already well qualified to do.

What was more important to her was the moral compass that guided you through the inevitable political and social pressures that a public servant comes under. She was patient and diplomatic in all situations. She exhibited that rare ability to be genuinely happy in others’ success and most of all pride in her students and colleagues accomplishments.

Her constant advice to look on the bright side of life for blessings already received rather than on the negative was also her own motto. She says this is the secret to her growing old gracefully with a mind clear and crystal and a continued love of learning. Her composure and enthusiasm continues to amaze me and all who know her.

May she live long and enjoy good health and reap rewards of her good deeds!