Peace and prosperity with elders

Manjula GUNASEKERA

I read with interest the article 'Our elderly - they are not a burden but a blessing ....." by Nayomini Ratnayake Weerasooriya under the column - 'The Human Dimension' in the editorial page 8 of Daily News of April 4, 2012.

I really enjoyed reading it as most of Nayomini's thoughts agree with those of many readers who consider their elders as blessings although in some cases they are burdens due to social and economic conditions.

Hence, I thought of sharing my thoughts with the readers. Most Sri Lankans consider the elders as blessings and take care of them with love and gratitude. They are respected for their good qualities and knowledge with experience in life. The younger generations are advised to respect the elders and follow their examples.

Despite various difficulties due to changing social and economic conditions the elders are considered a burden to some extent. But majority of Sri Lankan households look after their elders specially those suffering from various illnesses and disabilities.

However, as Nayomini mentions "The trouble starts when they become too old to move, see or hear. That's the time when the children throw to the wind everything they learnt in their religion about honouring their parents and think of ways to get rid of the mother or the father who are no longer of any use."

This situation has arisen especially when modern ways of living and thinking enters the family with so-called more capable people. Join the family and after getting married get the parental properties written in their name. When they try to improve the traditional family house physically and upset the old fashioned elders trouble starts. They seek the support of elders homes, government and non-government homes some of which are very expensive. Yet in love for their children, the elders rarely speak ill of their children and sometimes console themselves by saying "That is their way".

In the busy competitive modern day life children have no time for other people who cherish their company. The elders are lonely. They yearn for the company of their near and dear ones. When one visits an elders home they will always request you to come again even if you do not know them. Like in the case Nayomini has mentioned my mother who was a teacher cared much for my grandmother who was ill for a long time.

My mother sacrificed her own leisure and health for the sake of her mother. Unfortunately my mother passed away in her 60s while the grandmother lived 94 years and passed away few years after my mother's death. This type of sacrifice is not common in many sections of our society.

"In a land where the people like to believe they are very religious, whatever religion they belong to, it is unbelievable that the hapless elderly parents are left in the lurch by their often well-to-do children. There have been many stories of such parents dumped on the road or in public places. It is good and timely that the government has brought the Elders Act into law, holding the children responsible for the welfare of their parents."

The above para in Nayomini's article makes reference to Act No 9 of 2000 for the protection of the rights of elders. Under this Act there is provision for elders to take legal action with the Committee of Determination if their children who are well-to-do are neglecting the parents in their own homes or outside. Legal action is simplified and redress is given by a committee headed by retired judges.

It is necessary that the public are made aware of these matters implemented by the National Council for Elders appointed by the President of Sri Lanka.

In her last para Nayomini mentions that we should spend some quality time with elders and interact ourselves with their system and that is never too late to show the elderly in our lives that they are loved. This is a very timely suggestion. Indeed our ancestors had planned this type of events centuries ago and we follow them even today during the Sinhala and Tamil New Year celebrations in April, the month of Bak meaning prosperity.

It is interesting that Prof Dean Ornish's researches in US show that widows who received love and social support lived happier and longer lives than widows who did not receive same. New year celebration is a family centred event mainly and the respect for elders, kindness for them too is emphasized. Usually the mother is the queen of the family. For us, every day is Mother's Day while it is not the same in many countries.

The new year celebration is actually a cultural event to enhance continuity and family unity with sustainability helping social well-being. Elders play a vital role to maintain good moral and ethical standards for the young people to follow. In the long-run peace, development and prosperity dawn with renewed values for successful day-to-day life.