Inner peace

‘Three things you cannot recover in life: The moment after it’s missed, the word after it’s said, and the time after it’s wasted.’ - Unknown

My friend is such a dear. She does not trust in her talents but one thing she had always said was that she could be the best friend in the world to those who choose to keep her friendship. Knowing her for many years, probably from the day that she was born, I know that this is one aspect that she holds dear to her heart. These are not mere words for her but a pact.

My friend, J, often told me that life had run smoothly for her. There was an innocence about her that most people found ‘sweet’ and ‘comforting’. They knew that they could depend on her for sympathy and help. She stuck by her words at most times. Sometimes I did wonder if she was a little too conscious of doing ‘the right thing’.

J was troubled whenever anyone else was unhappy. At times it was a friend but sometimes it was a total stranger. I know it is ridiculous but I could almost swear she would have been happier if she had to undergo the misfortune than another.

“I cannot understand myself. I simply cannot rest if someone is unhappy. It troubles me and all I want is to wrap a blanket of comfort around them. I am a perfectionist. I fight with time. Delays push me to the brink,” J once confessed with me over afternoon tea.

I did not give a reply right away. I needed time to think. More years passed. I met J last week again for a matter.

This time the conversation took a different angle. She seemed to have matured with experience.

“I was listening to one of my friends. He was talking about some Dhamma teachings. It is about finding inner peace. I found it interesting. Then he uttered the magical words. Not one or two but a set linked together which cast a spell around me. Whenever I feel unhappy, those words echo in my mind. Then I am able to console myself and move on for a while,” she said. I let her go on. She seems to have lots to say. The key to this formula, she said, is in acceptance. You do not have to judge people. They may have their own reasons to for behaving in a certain manner. At times they cannot help it. You just have to sympathize with them.

“Our existence is limited to a short span. Who knows if we will live only a few hours or a few years from today? Time passes quickly. Unhappiness is as much a part of living as happier times. It is for us to decide whether to indulge in sorrow or joy. Why not spend your life helping others and creating a good impression? Live for the moment. Wouldn’t you like to be remembered as a lovely human being rather than a successful snob?”

Exactly my point. Life will have ups and downs. You cannot change the world. You cannot make the whole world happy but, dear J, knowing that you did the right thing will heal you. Your conscience is not tarnished. The belief will console you.

I have bruises in my soul. They heal but often incidents take place to dig up old wounds. Then you reflect on your actions. What was done cannot be undone.

Having learnt that lesson you learn to think twice before taking an action. Avoid the avoidable. Let life takes its course.

Shehara

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