Ending domestic violence in Sri Lanka:

Attitudinal change vital

Nipuni Wimalapala

Being subject to violation by a family member or by an intimate partner is the worst form of violation which continuously takes place in Sri Lanka. This is well known as domestic violence, spousal violence or family violence which contains many forms such as physical aggression, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse and economic abuse. Mostly the ultimate victim is woman who is considered to be weaker than man. The dictatorial and oppressive actions of men against women within intimate relationships are the base of this problem and some of the local perceptions also help enhance the situation.

Dr Neela Gunasekara

According to the Chairperson of National Committee on Women Dr. Neela Gunasekara, women are being subjected to domestic violence irrespective of their religion, race, social status or educational level. “In Sri Lanka the main reasons for the enhancement of domestic violence are the cultural values, traditional beliefs and stereotyped thoughts rooted in the society. Women themselves give priority to men and it is really hard to change the attitude,” she noted.

“ Though women are suppressed and even want to give up their marriages still they carry on simply because of children. Unlike men, majority of married women always try to carry on relationships since they strongly believe that children should grow up within a family and have a father and mother together. Economic factors also play a role here.”

Apart from this, women do not like to let down their husbands in front of others and they bear up all the burdens silently. This is the worst thing and it is hard to overcome since no one can look into private matters of an intimate relationship.”

As Dr Gunasekera observes, it is obvious that the main cause for domestic violence against women is men’s addiction to alcohol. Through my experience I can say that most of the domestic violence cases are reported by women whose legal husbands are addicted to alcohol.” This happens because they are not in a normal condition of mentality when they are drunk. This may pave the way for all types of violence such as hitting, kicking, biting, sexual abuse and also emotional abuse.

The Chairperson says that, throughout the history and even today the most reported domestic violence type is physical aggression which occurs mainly due to alcoholism. Dr Gunesekera emphasises that there is no specific group of women who experience this, but everywhere in the country many women are victimized and rarely stand against it.

She says that women encourage men to continue this by being silent and indirectly they violate their own children by drawing them into a conflict situation. Children are highly affected by this and it badly affects their mental development. It results in creating an ‘anti-dad’ mentality. These types of children have a negative attitude of their fathers for the rest of their lives.

Emotional abuse mostly takes place within educated partners, Dr Gunasekera noted. The reason is even though some men are educated, still dictatorial feelings are within them and they want their female partner to be under their control.

They do not try to harm women physically but mentally. No woman complains about these types of violence but suffers in silence.

Women go abroad, especially to Middle East countries to work as house maids where they are subject to endless torture. This can also be considered as another negative outcome of domestic violence. Women are motivated to go abroad mainly to escape from domestic violence. When the husband is not economically strong enough, he starts to avoid the responsibilities and try to keep his recognition within the family by suppressing the wife, by pointing out her faults. In such a condition she is being violated twice, because she has to take over the family responsibilities and to bear up the husband’s ill treatments. The tragedy is that most of the women keep silent.

“Women are also partly responsible,” Dr. Gunasekera said. Women are ready to bear up hardships and they do not want to have their own status. They love to live under men. Women probably do hide violence and bring their voice out when the situation become worst or never. “Number of women are murdered by their own partners in Sri Lanka as a result of domestic violence. This is a massive tragedy and everyone should work hard to end this.”

As she mentioned, a number of domestic violence cases were reported recently and there is a considerable tendency in the current context that women from the up country estate population are subjected to domestic violence often. “There are many cases which portray the fact that the men dictate the family unit and women are totally helpless. Some stories are really emotional and we feel sorry for the women who treat men well even after being violated by them. But I am happy to say that most of the educated women are aware of this issue and they do handle it well,” the Chairperson said.

“To avoid this issue first we have to change the attitude. Both men and women must be convinced that both have their own status, standards and they should manage to carry on intimate relationships respecting each other. It is better to solve problems in a calm manner before thinking of laws and regulations. But if the situation becomes worse do not think twice to go for legal action. All forms of domestic violence should be considered punishable crimes and punishments have to be heavy,” she said.

“If a woman is being subject to domestic violation we are there to help them out.”

Women who undergo hardships can go to the police where children and women have a different section and make complaints in order find a solution. “However all the authorities, organizations, institutes and individuals who work towards women empowerment should be well trained as well as ordinary people. Laws and regulations should be strengthened and applied practically to overcome the issue.”