Y TALK

What do you mean 'respect'?

Everybody gets bad days. Bad phases. Even bad moments. Even hair has its 'bad hair days'. Its the environment we live in that build up steam, so that you kind of get heated up. Adults can get angry and get away with it because they are expected to get angry over anything that doesn't fall in line with their expectations. They expect everyone to accept it as a standard. That's how it's been at home.

But I think, looking at it from a youth's perspective they should behave and not show temper tantrums. In other words we youth can be forgiven but not adults when they flare up. Age should show maturity enough to control mood flare up. Lack of respect? No idea about that one. But the problem is that Moms, Dads and who ever else you are expected to emulate are the very ones who are at times indescribably moody. But we are expected to respect their every mood, every temper-tantrum, every scream and outflow of unintelligible phrases that cannot be published in a national daily.

Respect! How do you define it? The on-line free dictionary states respect is a state of being regarded with honour or esteem. Now you tell us how can we respect an elder when he is out of control? Do we just shut up? Or do we simply pretend we are deaf even if the abuse is aimed at us? Or be straight forward and answer the so called elder in a tone, that can be heard over and above his own? Say we do just that, then how will the elder react? Will he ever publicly accept he was wrong to scream at us? Will adults ever come down from thier pedestal, to do so?

When friends or relations meet they make a habit of noting audibly' My! Your son is just a chip of the old block'. Chip? Chip as in the phone? Next to looks it may also mean we do the same things they did when they were young. But today their chips don't have the freedom to voice our side of the story. We too have reasons to be in a bad mood. Adults should just plain ask, whether anything is the matter? We'd rather you guys stop screaming and listen to our hearts.

We are not intentionally being disrespectful. We are not stupid. Neither are we nasty. We don't pretend. We don't act. We just spontaneously say what comes to our mind. We just follow our instincts if nobody guides us. The person who guides us must first win our confidence. Once we know we can ask anything - we will talk in a more subdued manner and composed state of mind.

If we scream that's not because we don't respect you. Its because we are letting out steam, over something that's affecting us. Just bare with us just the way we bare with all your bad tempers, rough words that hurt and what you believe are punishments.

We are your very own nice kids going through a bad phase of growing up. If you notice it, our features are in the process of changing from the sweet kid faces to becoming more like you guys. Its not only the looks. Our whole chemistry is going through a changing phase. We are becoming more like you, in every way; a chip of the old block.

We need your understanding. Your respect. Your love. Your attention and care more than when we were babies. But remember we have passed that baby-stage, now. This procedure of growing up is darn long and more painful than we guessed. You went through it, fine, but at a different time in history. Today its a more vibrant, open, dynamic world where autonomy and individuality are key words. So do give us more room to grow; enough room to become smarter than you.Having celebrated less than twenty birthdays, I know, and believe, respect, is like friendship. Its a two way thing. Looking at it from my Mom's house-proud perspective, respect, is all about give and take. Looking at it from Dad's highly commercialized social pulpit, it is about a 50-50 positive deal. Lets strike a deal. Look, it sounds fair if we put it this way; respect us and we will respect you. Its a win-win situation. Do you agree?

You can't force respect; like love, it will have to come from within, naturally.