Forbidden territories

“Parents should study about child rearing or planning. It isn’t a matter of how many babies you decide to have but the best way to raise a child. Kids love doing what they want on impulse and some parents brand certain topics as ‘taboo’ without explanation”

V3 were heading up a drive one sunny morning when a five rupee coin slipped out of Shaz’s pocket. As she bent to grab her prize, Ruwi and Sachi spotted a large TV screen at the junction displaying advertisements. A woman stood close to the screen too with her teenage son speaking to a friend.

The advertisement shifted from cooking oil to men’s cologne. A man flanked by a crowd of girls in skimpy outfits appeared on the screen. The woman blanched, bid a hasty goodbye to her companion, grabbed her son and made off. The lad was forced to quicken his steps but that did not stop him from darting more than a couple of curious glances over his shoulder.

“Look at that,” Sachi exclaimed with a frown as V3 watched the retreating forms of the mother and child.

“Why? What happened?” Shaz has missed the whole episode.

“Observe that child’s behaviour. Make a note of that you two,” Sachi said.

“I don’t think he has been exposed to that sort of ads. I wonder how they watch television at home, I mean these scenes are a dime a dozen on television ads.” Ruwi wondered aloud and narrated the whole scene to Shaz.

“Well, Ruwi, there are two kinds of parents: authoritarian and authoritative. The latter is very demanding and strict while the former sets limits but also listens to their kids and gives them some guidance. I bet that kid’s mother belongs to the latter category,” Shaz said in disapproval.

Sachi piped in: “Parents should study about child rearing or planning. It isn’t a matter of how many babies you decide to have but the best way to raise a child. Kids love doing what they want on impulse and some parents brand certain topics as ‘taboo’ without explanation.”

“This only makes the young curiosity.” Ruwi picked up from where Sachi had dropped off amid the morning hustle and bustle. “A thorough ‘NO’ lures the child to find out ‘WHY’. They might fall into the wrong hands and end up in hot water. Take drugs for example. Parents just tell you that it’s bad for you but they never bother to enlighten you on its negative effects.”

“Understanding is the key to a good parent-child relationship. You have to go back to your own childhood when you bring up your child. It’s a tedious job as the child demands a lot of attention,” Sachi said.

“I believe that it is beneficial to have kids at a young age. Then it’s easier to discipline them. Post 40s makes it difficult because they see your ideas as old fashioned. You may be young at heart, but still your advice may fall on deaf ears.” Shaz noted. In an age of technology, she added, parents should be ultra-broadminded because all those ‘taboo’ are now out in the open.

Ruwi fuelled the theory: “Yeah but new discoveries have their own pros and cons. Internet, for instance, you get a free access to any subject you name from religious studies to porn - just like the two sides of a coin. You put all those firewalls and filter walls on the Internet and stonewall these subjects only to provoke your child. ‘Curiosity killed the cat in the end’, didn’t it Sachi?”

“On the other hand, parents should know how to handle subjects like nudity and violence. The subject is very delicate so you have to wait for the right age. Early teens is the ideal period. Some parents present books on the subject because they feel too awkward to broach the topic themselves,” Sachi recalled, drawing ideas out of his own experience.

“Either your parents should bring up the topic or you should have an elder sibling to guide you on such matters. Your kid definitely doesn’t come to you on such things. I know sometimes things are easier said than done. You should somehow volunteer to be the starting point. You can follow any strategy you fancy, but never let your child seek peer guidance,” he added.

“Times are changing. There is a variety of erotica novels, soap operas and movies focusing on adult themes. Even daily advertisements flaunt lingerie raising more than a couple of eyebrows.

Who knows what changes will occur when our kids become parents?” Shaz pondered with a far away look in her eyes as she tried to picture a radically sophisticated society with people more open minded about ‘sensitive issues’ .

The idea appealed to Sachi, out of the question, as he recalled the stares which came our way when V3 had leafed through some books in the Erotica section some months ago.

“True,” Ruwi agreed, hiding a smile as she could well see what’s going on Sachi’s mind. “And by the way I think we are going to miss the lane. We have to take the left to the orphanage!” “Oops! We were so occupied! I’m surprised we didn’t make it all the way to Colpetty since we came across so many things related to what we have been talking about. Can’t keep them waiting for too long, can we? Otherwise the little brats will find something else to amuse themselves. Rule number one for good parenting tips! Shaz where’s your notebook?” Sachi joked.

“Yeah, and don’t forget to quote John Whitehead ‘children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see’.” Ruwi finished off as the tall cream coloured building with children scattered about in the garden came in view.

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