Miscommunication - a social misery

Although we are not going to discuss the same topic we discussed last week (Anti female beliefs of Sri Lankan men) I have to add one more fact to the last column. After reading my column one of my colleagues who became a father of a baby girl recently told me an interesting but very disappointing story.

According to my friend, he has expressed his happiness when the doctor showed him the scan of his baby girl (fetus). After that the doctor had told him that he is the only father who expressed happiness for a baby girl and all the other fathers were disappointed and some of them even inquired whether there is a way to change the sex of the baby girl !

This shows the real face of some Sri Lankan men. Are they psychologically living in the 21st century ? They have forgotten the fact that a woman gave birth to them. Although there are many things to discuss this week, this space will be allocated to discuss something that affects almost all of us. It creates conflicts between persons, groups and among people.

It is miscommunication or lack of communication? Communication was a main part of the life of Sri Lankan people since the ancient past but today some people think about communication in a strange way.

Often persons think that accurate and timely communication is something that should not be done. Sometimes both sending and receiving parties want to gain the upper hand. But the result is both parties and some other persons face different problems due to lack of communication.

In most of the foreign cultures, communication is just communication and nothing other than that. Therefore they communicate without any problems and everything goes on without any trouble.

They never talk often but communicate whenever necessary. But here in Sri Lanka people belong to all walks of life talk often but do not communicate accurately and when necessary which causes different problems for everyone.

The problem can be seen everywhere within families, within institutions, between persons and groups. Lack of communication within families creates hatred among family members and they start to take every move of the other as something against him/her. The final result is they turn into outsiders for companionship and fall into deep trouble. But none of them sees it as a failure of communication.

Then comes the institutions. One expect the other to perform certain duties by guessing it using telepathy !. When the task does not happen both parties start a cold war which turns into a real one after it is told to other staffers and they add fuel to it. A small act of miscommunication can lead to a huge clash and turn an establishment into a battle field causing mental and physical problems to the workers. If one person communicate accurately such clashes can be easily prevented.

The theory is very simple. If you need a bun you have to go to a restaurant or a bakery, pay money and ask for it. There you have to tell exactly what you want. There you are forced to say " I want a plain bun" if you want to get what you want. There are other types of buns such as cream buns, fish buns, double buns, sultana buns etc. Otherwise the salesman will give you what he wants you to eat.

But the huge surprise is why people cannot do the same when they are at home and when they work. This is a huge problem in Sri Lanka but not in other countries. When Sri Lankans are in these places they switch to `Telepathy'.

They do not use telepathy only when they go to a shop ! This is why today men say when a woman says yes the real meaning of it is no and when they say no the real meaning is yes.

A bomb can go off without notice only if the communication fails and hundreds of lives can be saved if people communicate timely and accurately. Persons, groups, parties and all fall apart when the communication fails.