Henry Jayasena Column - 165

Story of a Cancer Patient - Part 7

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I was discharged from the hospital on the March 23 after the sutures were removed. I was given some capsules and tablets to be taken at home. "You must come to the ward every other day, Mr. Jayasena.

We want to make sure that the wounds heal well and that there are no complications." Mrs. Nanyakkara, the head nurse told us before we left. "We certainly will come." I told her. I could hardly conceal my joy. "You are very happy today, Mr. Jayasena." Mrs. Nanyakkara was all smiles. "I am very happy, madam. I am going home!"

The last few weeks had been like a bad dream. Suddenly an operation. A major operation. On top of that a nasty bout of my rheumatism or arthritis or whatever it is. Back home, I felt like I was shaking off a bad dream from my mind.

All the staff at the hospital treated me as they would, a parent. They were so helpful and kind. How helpless a person becomes when his limbs refuse to obey him? How right the Buddha's words are. The body is such a frail thing. It could give away like a twig anytime of your life.

How different it is when you are up, standing, walking, sitting and moving as you please with no thought at all of the wonder of such fluidity... In normal life we manage to ward off all that is unpleasant of the body - it's dirt and sweat and smells. But when you are no longer capable of giving such attention to the body... the pain becomes unbearable and even the smell of one's own body becomes repulsive...

'BALHA GILANO'. The Maha Moggallana Sutta. The Maha Kassapa Sutta...Once the great Arahant Maha Moggallana falls ill. The Buddha with his disciples goes to visit the Arahant Moggallana and engages in soothing conversation with him.

He recites Pirith for the benefit of the Arahant who is stricken with illness and then his illness leaves him.

On another instance the Venerable Maha Kassapa falls ill. The Buddha once again goes to visit him with his disciples. He engages in soothing conversation with Maha Kassapa, quells his mind, recites Pirith and the Thera becomes well.

On yet another instance the Buddha himself falls ill. In this instance his disciple monks visit Him and engage in pleasant conversation. They recite the same Pirith over the Buddha who is ill...

The Buddha too suffered physical pain in the same way as ordinary human beings do. Even the Buddha felt pain of body..

"Ananda, I am in pain. My feet ache so... Ananda, I feel faint... Ananda, I am thirsty. Let me have some water...Ananda, this body is full of pain..." So has even the Buddha spoken when in physical discomfort.

There are no heroes against pain. Pain must be suffered in pain. My mind certainly is not developed enough to accommodate pain with calmness. I am home. I have got the bed in my office room done up for me and it is there I lie. The left leg is still painful. It is a pulling, twisting kind of pain. All of a sudden a pain begins at the knee like a speck of fire and little by little spreads all over the body like a raging inferno.

These days my poor wife looks exhausted having to tend to my needs. Her face is drawn. She has lost weight. When I see her eyes with concealed fear in them I feel helpless and unhappy.

Sometimes I suffer the immense physical pain without crying out. When I see her I am reminded of what one of the nurses in the I.C.U. told me in fun...

I had got special permission to use the staff toilet at ward 23 as well as the I.C.U. That is because I cannot sit on my haunches due to this long standing rheumatic problem. Very few wards have toilets with sit down commodes.

In the ICU there is a small room adjoining the toilet. That room has a table full of phials of medicine, other tablets, capsules and other stuff that are required for the daily needs of the ward. The room smells of medicine. The nurses used this table to have their meals too. There was no other place for that purpose.

"Do you have your meals in that room?" I asked a nurse. "Yes" said she quite chirpily. "You have no other room to have your meals?"

"These are very small wards, Mr. Jayasena, you can see that. There are only five beds in this ward. There are no extra rooms in these small wards to be given to us." Said the nurse cheerfully.

" No, I was only wondering. It is such a tiny room with the smell of medicine all the time. And the toilet being so near too..." I heard myself saying like a silly fool.

"One gets used to these things, Mr. Jayasena. We always keep the toilet clean. The smell of medicine of course does not bother us at all. We are used to it..."

"You are a blessed lot, my dear," was all I could say.

"Sometimes when we are off duty rather late, we go home in out uniforms. Once, when I was newly married, I went home in my uniform. My husband was in the hall reading a newspaper. I went up to him, gave him a kiss and told him "Here I am." You know what he told me...?"

"No"

"He said I smelt like a hospital and asked me to go take a bath...!" She laughed like so many silver bells tinkling, adjusted my pillow and sheets and moved away still laughing.

Now I visit my ward every other day as 'ordered' by the head nurse to show the healing cut.

I am allowed to bathe and do so regularly before I show myself at the ward. I have lost about 25 pounds and my wife is worried. "For Heavens sake try to put on some weight," she says. "When people tell me 'Aiyo how thin Henry is..' I feel like punching their fat mugs in! Cant these fools understand that you are ill and that you have undergone a serious operation?"

"Never mind, my dear, they also have to say something, no..?" I murmur weekly. "So try and put on a bit will you? They might be thinking that I don't feed you properly... And you are ever ready to be frail and thin...!"

"It's only a few days no, my dear on home cooking. Don't worry. Your mouth watering dishes will get me back to normal in a couple of weeks. I will start eating like hell..."

"You...?"

"Yes, I will start eating like a demon...!"

"Some demon you are...!"

"Yes, rather a thin one. Nevertheless a demon...!" I insist and my wife smiles like an angel.

Siri Samarasinghe is a very close friend to us. To me he is more like a brother. I came to know him in the 1970s. During 1970/71 a few of us got together and made a children's film. It was titled 'Atheethayen Kathawak' [A story from the past, or rather Once Upon a Time] I was the script writer and also a sort of unofficial Asst. Director.

The main characters in my story were the two children of Kuveni - Jeevahatta and Disala - Kuveni's twin children. They are lost in the jungle after Kuveni leaves them in search of help.

The role of Disala was played by twelve-year-old Usha Samarasinghe, daughter of my friend Siri. So that is how long our friendship has been.

Siri was in the paddy milling business in Passara before he shifted to Colombo with his wife and two children. Our friendship grew even stronger after my friend shifted to Colombo. By then our child actress Usha had grown up to be a pretty young lady and was a Doctor. She was posted to the General Hospital, Colombo, as a Radiologist.

To be continued

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