'Moospaynthu' Divas

Now, now! Don't look in the 'dick' (You know how these college boys from me Colombian's Colombo refer to things no?) What I just mentioned is how they would identify the dictionary these days, be it Oxford or Malalasekara (The latter they call 'Malalasekara dick eka).

Well, well! What me Colombian is getting at is that the word 'Moospaynthu' is not to be found in any of those ... Well! Whatever they are called now or then? but is a general term used by mostly me Colombian's middle class Colombytes. 'Mostly' I said, Ha!

But Darlings! These days me Colombian hears, not only from the middle class dears, even from the common man on the middle of the road; all about these 'Moospaynthu Divas' only they are talking.

They all say it all started with 'Moospaynthu number one' called 'Shanthi' who cried herself to fame shedding all her tears which created major floods at the time. Then came number two and three 'Chiththi and Tulsi'. To think which one came first makes me Colombian suffer from the 'Chicken or the egg syndrome'. Well however one of the two 'Moospaynthuwas' came second or third.

Then Darlings! Though during me Colombian's childhood 'Moospaynthuwas' were considered unlucky? With the arrival of these 'Moospaynthu' Divas the bad omen has begun to flood the country bringing the country to its knees with one unlucky event following the other.

Today 'Moospaynthu' Divas are arriving one after the other with different identities but bringing with them the same ill effects. They are numerous. Vasuda, Gauthami, Nilanjala, Praveena so on and so fourth.

They all make it a point to make their presence felt every evening, with each of them taking their time to cry their ominous tears. This is done without a break every evening, seven days a week. Can you imagine the effect Darlings?

But me Colombian want to know why blame these innocent dames about any bad luck that had befallen upon us? After all, most of them are foreigners no? Imagine there are dozens if not hundreds of those types pumping their tears with full horse power speed, not merely in the evenings only darlings? Its all morning, noon and night in their country of origin. Can you imagine the ill effects Darlings?

When me Colombian spread this story around, there were many that came to the rescue of those imported Divas saying that they have been of great service to their country and me Colombian was bewildered enough to ask how come?

What they say is, unlike here that the public has been more positive there in the land of the imported 'Moospaynthu' Divas. Then Irrigation Department there has used all those tears shed by the women to create 'Gangas' and 'Yamunas' to flow across country, creating some of the best irrigational schemes ever. See, see how they will not let even one drop of tear fall in vain. Hmm...

But when me Colombian told this to one of those production houses which is responsible of bringing down or creating some of those tear jerking dames they were quick to explain why me Colombian's Irrigation Department people are at a bad end not being able to do the same here. Why, why? me Colombian asked expecting a lame answer from you know who?

Mayee... The answer me Colombian got made me cry enough tears to make the recent floods look like a storm in a bath tub. Aiyooo! They say that not enough tears it seems darlings for the purpose. I mean to create a irrigational project.

So the need for more 'Moospaynthu' Divas have now arisen, giving a flash of smile in the faces of all those production houses that were almost being asked to pack-up and leave without creating more 'Moospaynthu' Divas, bringing bad luck to this place.

So now me Colombian is told that there are more of those crying types being produced, mainly for the purpose of collecting water (sorry tears) for irrigational purposes. But the thing is me Colombian advised that they (the production houses) should concentrate in importing the raw material ('Moospaynthu' Divas) from their country of origin.

When asked why? me Colombian explained that after all they are all trained for the job, probably with a working diploma or degree in hand for the purpose. So in fact they do a better job in dispensing tears in the speed of the Mahaweli darlings! The former minister for those affairs, if he did live today would have had no need to divert anything anywhere no? This is all flowing freely no? from 8.00 pm to 10.00 pm daily aney?

But one threat has cropped up for these production houses in recent times and they are with their hands up in the air (probably with their brains too, along with their arms.

Otherwise how I wonder they come up with such stupid story boards?) Well! the threat is in the form of 'Saradiyal' dears! These days the guy has started appearing once a week. That too is bad enough, says those 'Moospaynthu' Divas production houses. The fear of male chauvinism.

Well dears! this one man appearing amongst a multitude of these crying dames, that too once a week has given some the fear that this time around the guy is not going to stop at way laying the rich aristocrat's alone?

They are all looking forward thinking that the 'good hearted bandit' is going to get more ideas on the lines of laying. What with so many crying dames at his disposal? Eeeee.... somebody save Vasuda, Chiththi, Nilanjala, Gauthami and whoever, whoever?

To tell you the truth dears, though the production houses are all complaining the crying dames are not, me Colombian was told! It seems they together with the others of their crying fraternity are all looking forward to being whisked away by force (though the girls are waiting willing and all) by Saradiyal up there to Uthuwankande and do the needful.

Darlings what do you think they were crying all these years for, daily from 8.00 pm to 10.00 pm?

But now me Colombian feels that all the paperwork has to be carefully looked into. You know why? Now Saradiayal is due to be finishing short and sweet unlike those crying dames who go on and on and on and on and..... So whether Saradiyal can finish up with all the 'Moospaynthu' Divas, I mean the present lot and the rest of the dozens who are all going to pop up one of these days in full force.

Why some more, what for? asks some who are fed up with the 'high horse power water works'. Naturally no child? They need more of those crying types it seems no? Aiyooo... I told you all no? How the Irrigation Department here is looking to put all those 'Moospaynthu' Divas tears into good use. Like in the country of origin of the original 'Moospaynthu' Divas?

Well as me Colombian observes. Will Saradiyal find the time? Many have a negative attitude saying that there will have to be a Cabinet paper if Saradiyal is to outlive his life span on TV in comparison to his real life drama. Some of the others are saying that a paper from such a cupboard is not necessary, it can be even from another high place, as in many other cases and other people who are contemporary Sradiyals after all. Me Colombian thinks?

But how did this whole thing come into being? Which whole thing do you mean? you may ask me Colombian.

What Darlings? these water works of the crying divas, if we may call them that and add some dignity to their characters. After all, they are going to contribute in a big way no to our irrigational plans?

Yes, yes! But how did this crying game come around to sit as the favourite past time of our society every evening from 8.00 pm to 10.00 pm on a daily basis. When one comes to think of it we were a nation that had to hire women to shed their veiling vocal chords at funerals because me Colombian's Colombyte women or otherwise; were too ashamed to cry in public. Aiyooo...

Mayeee... Yes, yes me Colombytes' ladies of course never want to shed a tear no dear? No, no! Not because shy aney! Too afraid that the make up too will flow along. Leave alone flowing down to where ever? What about soiling of the jacket all hand embroidered by that top designer, who another Colombyte lady from me Colombian's Colombo said "... in fact dresses up corpse also on the side".

Now coming back to how it all happened? Some of Colombian's Colombyte women said "That is why aney they first brought all those Shanti's Sujatha's and Chiththi's from that neighbouring State where they can be picked up a dozen a time dears! So me Colombian had no alternative but to agree with the ladies.

Aney! So is that going to be the future plight of me Colombians countrymen when they want more 'Moospaynthu' Divas? Mayee no Meya, said one of me Colombian's Colombyte ladies who says that her servant girl and the ammey are ardent fans of the 8.00 pm to 10.00 pm belt. "I am at some dinner or cocktail party no my dear! Specially during those times everyday. So I listen to the servant brigade narrate the episodes of the evening before and take my turn at crying". Pavu no?

However this same lady said that things have changed now. "You don't have to import that stuff ('Moospaynthu' Divas) any more. You know no, how our girls are good at doing the copy cat act without a flaw.

Darlings! they have acquired the 'water works' act so well, I hear that the present lot of 'Moospaynthu' Divas who are around will be the last lot that will appear from the neighbouring State", said the Colombyte lady in one long breath. No comas, fullstop's or any other, like the long veils from 8.00 pm to 10.00 pm daily.