Compiled by Suharshi Perera

Child Abuse: Your child can be the next victim

Lakmini Rodrigo and Jananee Weeraratne

Dr. Hiranthi Wijeymanna was the former chairperson of the National Child Protection Authority. At present she is the Executive Director of the South Asia Women's Fund. The Daily News met Dr. Wijeymanna to capture some of her views on child abuse in Sri Lanka and the mothers' role in preventing it. We believe that Dr. Wijeymanna's views and experiences would help our women be better mothers and protect their children.

Q. What are the forms of child abuse? Which form is the commonest in Sri Lanka?

A. There are three forms of child abuse. Physical, Mental and Sexual abuse. But it is very difficult to categorize them as they are interrelated. For example, a child who is sexually abused may suffer mentally too.

Generally all three forms of abuse take place in Sri Lanka. But sexual abuse has the most long lasting consequences and worst effects on the child.

Q. Which children are more prone to be abused?

A. Mostly those who have a poor relationship with their families or whose mothers have gone abroad without providing a proper care taker for the child for the period that she is away.

And also more cases are reported from the families of lower economic background than from the economically well-off families probably due to their lack of education and poverty.

A study conducted by the UNICEF showed that 10 per cent girls in Sri Lanka are subject to abuse while the percentage of boys is 14. This could be partially attributed to the girls' reluctance to bring the issue to the light.

Q. Who is most likely to abuse a child?

A. The sad situation is that most of the abusers or perpetrators are people that are closest to the child and those whom the child trusts. They could be family friends or the child's immediate relatives like father, grandfather or uncle.

Most of these cases are not brought out either. So we don't even know the extent of the problem because what we see is only a small percentage of cases that are reported.

Q. Where is abuse most likely to take place?

A. In most cases abuse takes place in places that the child is very familiar with. Their house, schools, relatives' houses or school vans. Pathetically it occurs in child care institutions and religious institutions as well, which is very hard to identify and take action against.

Q. Why is there a lack in reporting of these cases to relevant authorities?

A. The main reason is that there is a lot of stigmatisation. And also if abuse takes place at a very young age the children don't even realise that they are being abused. It's only when they grow up that they realise that they had been abused and by then they are reluctant to talk about it. And they also tend to believe that the fault is theirs- entirely or partially.

And also in some cases children are subject to horrible humiliation during trials, which makes the other abused children reluctant to come out with their problems.

To overcome this problem we need child-friendly law enforcement officers and judicial officers to whom the child could approach without fear. And the punishments given to the perpetrators should be strict. Because someone who robs the child of his childhood could not be forgiven at any cost.

Q. In today's society a working mother has become a norm. With the number of emigrant mothers as well as working mothers. What impact does it create on this issue?

A. Most married women face a string of difficulties once they enter the family life. One is the economic pressure, which pushes the woman towards working, as the husband alone cannot support the family.

And also with girls being educated they do not want to be financially dependent. Therefore they tend to start working.

And I feel very sorry for the women who migrat to the Middle East, because they are left with no choice. And most children are abused in families which the mothers have migrated to the Middle East.

So the children who are deprived of the care and protection of their mothers are very likely to be abused.

This is a very dangerous situation as these abused children may turn out to be criminals, murderers or anti-socialists.

Q. What is the solution for this situation?

A. If a mother is going abroad she should arrange a proper system to take care for her children while she's away. And they should maintain regular contact with the child.

And also she should provide someone reliable to the child that he or she can go and talk to if some problem occurs. Also employment for women within the country should be increased so they don't have to leave the country.

And the society should realise their obligation in assisting a mother take care of her child.

Q. What is the role of a mother in protecting her child from being abused?

A. In today's context where the woman has to be a mother, wife as well as a breadwinner and should balance her priorities. After all, giving birth to a child- a new life- is a miracle and could not be secondary.

And the father too should equally contribute in taking care of the child.

Today, young fathers have taken great interest in child caring which is a very good attitude. Parents should spend some quality time with their children and build a strong relationship with them so the child could openly talk to the parents about anything. It is not the amount of time they spend but the quality of time that matters.

The relationship between the mother and child should be very strong and healthy. Being a good woman is not all about being a good cook and baking the best cake, but about being intelligent and being alert to your child's behaviour.

Women may have to make sacrifices for their children, but it is worth as they create a large positive impact on your child.

Q. Is there a specific age group when the child is most likely to get abused, and that the child should be specially protected by their family?

A. Unfortunately no. There is no specific age group. Even little babies are abused today. And especially little children who have no idea about sexuality could easily be coaxed to perform various acts and kept quiet.

The adolescent, on the other hand are very vulnerable, and need to be taken care of. So since birth until 18 years, when one is not considered a child any more, he or she should be protected and cared for by parents.

Q. To what extent the open economy and tourism has contributed in the increase of child abuse?

A. Tourism contributes to around 3 per cent of child abuses in the country. There are several commercial Child Abusing Centers in Sri Lanka that cater to the needs of tourists arriving in the country for that purpose.

Mainly these centers are located in the coastal area especially in Negombo, Hikkaduwa and Hambantota, but we witness a decrease in the number of these centers following programmes initiated by the Tourist Board and Embassies along with other local authorities and NGOs acting upon this. We should appreciate their assistance in tracking down perpetrators.

Shantha brings Rasa Bojun - 2

Anjana Gamage

CULINARY: Food is a basic need of all humans and being able to prepare a delicious as well as a nutritious meal for your family is important. And it's not everybody who has the talent to cook tasty meals. A woman who has gained much recognition in culinary art is not only loved and admired by the housewives but all those who relish tasty cuisine is Shantha Mayadunne.

What is the secret behind your success?

"Perhaps the fact that I don't keep any secrets when I present a cookery demonstration, she said with a smile. I have helped many by introducing easy good cooking methods. I do not consider cookery demonstrations as just another presentation of my culinary talent. It is a kind of family attachment, entertainment and a way to build a good neighbourhood," said the famous cookery demonstrator.

Mrs. Mayadunne was busy for the past couple of weeks preparing her second cookery book which was launched yesterday. "Presenting a cookery book with my own recipes which I have tried as 'experiments' was in my mind for a long time", she said.

She presented her first cookery book titled "Shanthagen Obata Rasa Bojun 1", few years ago and the second volume of it "Shanthagen Obata Rasa Bojun 2", contains 85 recipes briefed in the book suited for various occasions and to the local palate and purse.

Mrs. Mayadunne obtained her education at Vishaka Vidyalaya, Bambalapitiya in the Science stream.

"Science helped me a lot in my cooking because I came to know the nutritional value of food. I believe that in order to become an expert in any field, one needs to gather knowledge as much as possible by obtaining training in that field. I am still learning from others", she added.

During the past few years, she has travelled to countries such as India, Australia, England, Thailand, and Singapore. She has also obtained a Diploma certificate for cake icing from the famous Wilton Icing School in U.S.A.

Mrs. Mayadunne is the first person who introduced and presented a cookery workshop in the country in 1994 at the National Youth Centre, Maharagama.

"Women should think positively and believe that they can achieve much in life, not only through the culinary field, but also in many other ways especially in the manner they conduct themselves in society. It is a pity that most underestimate themselves.

"I always try to do something which is unique. Everyone likes to eat a delicious and nutritious meal, but today food is very expensive and not many can afford to such meals. The poor people, especially children are greatly affected by a lack of nutritions and wholesome meals. I always try to find cookery methods that are nutritious, tasty, easy to prepare and also not very costly, she explained.