Divided We Part

AT what was considered the largest hairy extravaganza of the year which took place at THE convention and conference hall in Colombo recently, people were wondering whether it would have become a bigger hit if all the pioneer Associates Of The Hairy Association stayed intact, without creating a divided hair-line.

The breakaway group too comes up with its own annual show claiming it to be the biggest extravaganza of the year.

Now Colombian's friends in the beauty and hairy business are wondering whom to believe?

But Colombian believes that the recent one in Colombo appeared to be grand owing to the venue it was held at. What a difference a place can make?

Fetch A Pail of Water

A restaurant that is housed in one of the TWINS in Fort is selling their water to diners that patronize the abode on a daily scale.

Nobody is complaining but Colombian is wondering whether there is a rule pinned on to the act of operating eating houses which state that drinking water is an essential part of the operation to obtain the licence for the purpose.

Even the 5 star abodes in the city serves purified drinking water on preference, quite contrary to this one embroiled in one of the TWINS around the TOWERS. Selling a bottle of water at rupees 60 which is otherwise 20 bucks outside, leaving one with no option but to buy it.

A Vision for Men

A leading lady with 'reasonable' looks who bears an un-reasonable thought that she is a beauty, is making that thought of hers to make undue use of any male within her feminine purview. Oh! but knowing the male of the species, they can go berserk in the presence of flirtatious female ways.

Colombian is now told that the young sprightly lass is in a bit of hot water, as the 'Chief Incumbent' of the TV station, where the self assumed beauty is doing a weekly gig, has set his eyes upon her.

The TV station which operated with a lot of 'Vision' sometime back seem to be losing its direction at present as the Chief incumbent's 'Lady Jay' who has borne him 4 children is out to claw the intruder's eye balls, after another jealous Jane who works for the same network has dropped the cyanide in her ears.

In which case her colleagues think that the poor thing will lose her vision as did the TV station sometime back.

Putting Kuveni to Shame

COLOMBIAN has come to learn that a pioneer textile project that was state operated is grasping for breath and everybody connected to it is saying that oxygen alone is not going to help at reviving this project that has been ailing for quite some time.

All its sales out-lets Colombian is told has been given on lease to other commercial establishments to operate their businesses.

Now is it the order of the day for an establishment that was set up in the early seventies to produce our own hand-woven fabrics and enjoyed a glorious past to be allowed to suffer a severe blow as the one that has struck it at present?

The story that is going around how this once stately project has switched over from spinning the wheel to weave the colourful yard into a real estate business is not a yarn at all, Colombian was told.

Caught with HER Pants Down

QUITE strange you may think. How did the age old saying change the man in its pants into women? Well, well with more women in pants these days things of this nature are inevitable isn't it?

But this woman that was caught red faced when it all happened was clad in a skirt (you know the ones that end at the ankle these days) at the time her pants came down.

Now it all happened at a shop which has no limit in being a fashionable house. So! this customer, who was by no means a lady had walked into a changing room with, not 1 or 2 but 6 outfits to try on; quite un-noticed by the sales staff.

The woman had paid for a greeting card she picked on her way out at the cashier's counter and made her exit when the security guy realised that a pair of pants were slipping out from underneath the woman's skirt, realizing what was on the way the woman has taken to her heels leaving behind 2 bag loads of clothes items at the parcel counter of the said shop.

On inspection it was discovered that the 3 bags left behind contained her loot of the day. From other shopping outlets where she was pretending to be shopping.

Ganging Up To Cool Off The Winds Of Fire On Earth

YOU remember the singer that bolted off disappointed that there was no more than 200 people to watch him in action? Well the catastrophe of that day was that the organisers found out that most of the seats occupied amongst those 200 too were complimentary.

Now Colombian hears that the organisers are at it again. But this time it is even heard louder that the sponsors are raising a warning finger at the agents telling them to give them their money's worth.

So! since their experience in burning their fingers once, the agents have decided to keep prices at an affordable rate that can be coughed up by the general public.

Accent DJs

LISTENING to most of our Announcers, who come under different labels like DJs, Comperes, Broadcasters and Telecasters, most of them are doing the same thing, appealing to the public on one way or the other.

But Colombian has a problem in trying to make out what most of these, so called DJs are trying to convey in an accent which suggests that they have marbles in their mouth.

Most of these ones who are essentially Sri Lankan, except to a Chinese sounding one: who in fact can be understood in comparison to our 'Queens immediate heirs to her majesty's language. But not quite, me Colombian has to disagree at this point.

Listening to CNN or BBC one can understand every single word uttered by those newscasters, isn't it?

Then what is wrong with our lot, who has probably marched in and out of one elocution class or the other as students and developed an accent so heavy that it cannot be understood by listeners in general. So much for not murdering the Queen. But this set seems to be suffering for not doing so.

Suffering with Sound

WHICH is in fact identified as 'Noise Pollution'. Some of our countrymen are good at making noise in their attempt at driving their message home. Drivers toot the horn to do so at all places at all times.

Today they do not care whether they are near a school, hospital or any other important place where their tooting can be of hindrance to activities going on within those premises.

Now it is heard that the authorities are bringing in an act to curb the menace. The law should bring in to book not only drivers but also private bus operators, who in addition to charging exorbitant rates and playing down on the air conditioning, burden the commuters with loud and painful barrage of sound.

The other culprits are sales outlets of audio cassettes, CDs and DVDs and also sales promotional exercises at supermarkets and the like etc.

Colombian thinks that it is a bright idea if the authorities can make the move to choke our city of un-necessary noise.

Rain, Rain Go Away...

IT is not the 'Youth' rain in fact that everybody is talking about but the 'Rainbow' that brings it. In fact the one that has arched over a cinema in the Fort. A brainchild of an 'amateur' actor who won an award for the best UP and COMING actor some years ago.

Now many in the industry are wondering if the guy will be presented an award for the best DOWN and GOING for this film. Which most filmgoers think is the next best thing to a sleeping pill.