Sexualization of women as a form of male domination

by Afreeha Jawad

Exposing social duplicity and double standards last week to this Daily News writer was Colombo University's Senior Lecturer in Sociology Dr. Subangi Herath - the topic being sexualization of women. "Societal expectation of woman is one of feminine charm, attractiveness, obedience, tolerance, quietitude and listening - the very characteristics that make women vulnerable to all kinds of dangers. So you see that what is expected of them itself necessitates a 'be careful' state which puts much pressure on women", she said.

Her disclosure even reminded this writer of how women ignorantly yield to what society wants projected of them instead of being their natural selves. Come to think of it Dr. Herath couldn't have said it any better which took this writer to an exploratory state.

Conforming to whatever societal expectations subjugates women and deprives them of character and wholesomeness.

The large scale jewellery industry for instance not to forget the varied fashion apparels, and the many kinds of footwear among other industries significantly contribute to facilitate women to maintain an image which society expects of them.

If women ceased being their clientele those industries would be compelled into 'shutters up'. It even brought to writer's mind how butchers are blamed for animal slaughter. Instead, to be recommended strongly is the lid on flesh eating itself - which state is invariably unattainable. The social palate is as bad as the increasing interest and eagerness of women to project what society expects of them.

Dr. Herath sees women's sexualization as being related to power. Masculinity, she explained, was all about power and feminity all about powerlessness. For instance, the Vani marriages in Pakistan is about ending blood feuds in exchange for a bride from the opposing family. These women are denied the right to live in the way they want.

Masculine power has a tall order for women - that they should not talk loud, be quiet and 'lady like'. The extreme form of sexualization she said was that even if a woman was raped she should remain tight-lipped. "Because one is a woman, she is expected to remain silent - a passive acceptance of what is imposed on her", she said.

Elaborating on how society falls from grace she informed:

"Having sexualized her as in the ways that I earlier explained, people also put the onus on women, in that, the responsibility lies with them to protect themselves. Having brought about such a situation where women are presented as toys, society even warns them to avoid going out alone late at night. The way a woman should walk and talk are also part of that sexualization and if you are a non-conformist woman, men would even hate you", she added laughingly.

Women who do not conform to social norms are referred to as "fighters" said Dr. Herath.

Going on the basis of this expression little wonder then how women make best use of their sexualization to get what they want.

Their gait, their looks, the way they talk, their clothes and everything else that go with such sexualization have come to stay as assets for women even in office environs to make what is called 'headway'. Contrarily a man's sexual attraction is related to power and strength. Masculinity is all about power, ability to control, to dominate and "boss" while what is expected of a woman is powerlessness, obedience and a constant listening state.

Valuing women through sexuality pressurises women to adopt to societal commands. Laughingly Dr. Herath said: "So you see many women striving hard to get their figures back even to the point of falling sick."

"Here too we see how women are shoved into a state of conflict. While exposing them to fat generating oily, starchy food, society also expects a trim figure of her.

Another instance when women are called to play contradictory roles is what comes off advertising in a market economy set up. While calling for social equality of men and women, there economies have called for advertising and the easiest object to attract people for sales is women's sexuality.

"The problem of sexuality, informed Dr. Herath is that women are not worth anything more than sexuality. For instance, her intellectuality may not be counted because she is a woman. If she does well in intellectual realms she will be known not as a woman who has got there. For instance, if she becomes a well-known scientist, society's reference of her will be one of a good scientist and cease to ignore the 'being woman' side, at which point gender ceases to be.

A woman will be looked at as a woman only till she has the attributes that go with a woman. This is altogether a sexist attitude for sexists insist on sexual difference not of biological origin but differences coming off social constructs. Thus we see woman not being able to be what she really wants to be as a result of all the time behaving the way society wants her to.

Significantly, she pointed out, how men in long hair and earrings have found ready social acceptance. True enough women have found societal acceptance wearing trousers but the difference is that even a trousered woman is looked at through her sexuality.

The latest trendy fashions in town displayed at Cat Walks are avenues to feminise women. The initiators of such designs insist that women should have the freedom to dress whatever. This highly motivated freedom endangers women.

She cannot go with that kind of sexualised attire without risking sexual harassment. Yet having exposed her to such dress she is also asked to be on her guard. "Irony of ironies!" she exclaimed. Dr. Herath saw such ventures as a fulfilment of the external environment's needs.

Women, she regretted, would not be freed until and unless the lid is on sexualisation. True, women are free but how far will that take us if she cannot walk alone at night. Unless there is greater public awareness on this subject and things are put right through the socialisation process itself, women's freedom will only be in theory.

"Men today have all the power and they use that power to control women. Even women's sexuality is controlled by them," she said and continued, "Women's sexuality is thus suppressed and expressed only when men want it.

Men are decision-makers and even in sexuality they take the decision. By telling women to be guarded and careful we are only legitimizing women's passivity and what's more, we are even being unfair by the men for when we license male masculinity and the release of what is called inborn traits at their own will, we are also relegating them far worse than primordial animals."

Society wants women to be careful simply because of the belief that men have no control over their feelings. Where is the rationality here? Where is the intellect? If humans are more rational and can logically analyse a situation how can we say men are not rational. Why is it that when it comes to men/women relationship that intellectual and rational control is not there? This is where we relegate men to also far worse than primordial animals.

Women, she said, have a right to be what they want. Ironically, there is no social pressure on men calling for adjustment. They do as they please.