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by Afreeha Jawad

Many of today's grandparents, unlike their predecessors, are totally different in outlook and approach. Quite unwilling to pull the cart of 'family concern' they perceive a path of freedom and independence.

"Nothing doing," they say, "enough is enough. We've done our part for them. Now they should leave us alone and manage their children without troubling us," said an irritant grandfather.

The recipient of a wide gamut of tasks - marketing, cleaning, sweeping, even paying light bills and whisked off on other errands - suddenly he felt life becoming a sort of hell hole.

Deciding to wrap up task imposition, the poor guy found solace in a rented out annexe in one of Colombo's southern outskirts only to find the son-in-law at his doorstep the following day.

"Thaaththa, what are you doing. Come along let's get home," he pleaded.

Whereupon which this writer exclaimed, "see how much they love you".

"What"? he asked indignantly. "Love me? Ha! Haa!! There's no one to do THEIR work," he shot back. So the modern grandfather - devoid of being emotionally bowled over is quite sharp and astute in his perception. He is able to see beneath the surface. There was also another friend of mine - this time of the female species - a grandmother who left home unable to stand the daughter's dictates.

"Amma, have you made the tea? Why can't you sweep the garden? Oh! the house is so untidy," the daughter would say.

Things became so difficult - she finally decided to go it alone at a price of course and now lives in a rented out house atop a hillock and enjoys her solitude and newly found freedom.

I've heard some of the best nature stories from her. How she gets up early morning, keeps the kettle on fire and watches the birds chatter outside the pantry window. How she, while sipping the morning 'cuppa' would sit outside in her little lawn and watch the sun rise over the distant hills. Come rain, she would be in bed and watch the rain lash into her room.

" Thank God, there is no one to say,'please shut that window'. I love the rain even if it was to flood my room," she said laughingly.

The leisure cost of marketing and baby sitting have been discovered by today's grandparents.

They no longer feel 'grand' over 'grandparenting'. All they want is 'grand time' - to be left alone uninterfered to enjoy the bliss of solitude.

I know of a grandfather who used to drive his car all the way from his home - a distance of about 10 miles on receiving a call that the grandchild was sick. The doctor's house was only a hoot's call away.

The man nor his wife would move an inch until the car arrived. Thank God, the like of such grandparents are dwindling.

Though today's nuclear families seek independence, they jolly well get back to the nucleus when support and help is needed.

That the 'modern old' is aware of such machinations is remarkable indeed!

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